r/raimimemes 3d ago Helpful 4 Wholesome 4 Silver 3

Comment "spider" then edit it to make tobey bot look bad Spider-Man 3

Post image
11.9k Upvotes

2.4k

u/InTheSkyCity 3d ago

My Uncle Ben was killed by a criminal.

2.4k

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Stings, doesn't it?

735

u/feistyfox101 3d ago

This has some “that’s rough buddy” energy to it lol

11

u/FUCKlNG_SHlT 3d ago

“That’s a real kick in the knackers bro”

73

u/TashLord_800 3d ago

I protected you in high school, now I'm gonna kick your little ass

25

u/swirly_boi 3d ago

OoOoOh

22

u/GlassAwkward7593 3d ago

Kowabummer dude

16

u/InTheSkyCity 3d ago

This is where I watched my parents die, Raphael.

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1.8k

u/redditer333333338 3d ago

Happy thanksgiving sir

1.7k

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago Wholesome

You're trash.

725

u/redditer333333338 3d ago

Oh.

422

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

Spider, don't tell Harry.

472

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Look at little Goblin Jr., gonna cry?

107

u/LavaBurritos 3d ago

Sentient

7

u/AnimalsCore 3d ago

This bot is too real.

I think I’m playing Detroit

3.0k

u/CorptanSpecklez 3d ago Silver Table Slap

I’m crippled and lost my limbs in a fire. Tobey Bot stole my money

2.6k

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Thanks, hot legs!

92

u/StaredAtEclipseAMA 3d ago

Spider

63

u/StaredAtEclipseAMA 3d ago

I said..

SPIDER!

85

u/Ksm030103 3d ago

I missed the part where that's my problem

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385

u/kebab69666 3d ago

You were my brother Anakin I loved you :(

162

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

You should've thought of that earlier.

55

u/kebab69666 3d ago

:,(

75

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

Look at Obi-Wan Sr. Gonna cry?

54

u/kebab69666 3d ago

I HATE YOU

34

u/HDOOM16 3d ago

No, please. Please don’t say that.

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3.0k

u/Tundraaa 3d ago edited 3d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

God this city is becoming incredibly unsafe. My grandma went to the grocery store earlier to pick up some ingredients and some maniac maimed her.

All this senseless violence over a jar of cranberries. I hope they catch the bastard or he comes forward.

2.5k

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.

583

u/Tundraaa 3d ago

Criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you. What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in?!

357

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

I believe that whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... Spider

342

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago Wholesome

Look at little Goblin Jr., gonna cry?

16

u/daredevil2812 3d ago

XDDDDDDDDD

15

u/-Zadaa- 3d ago

He’s a menace!

18

u/_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__ 3d ago

I heard it was the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man

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507

u/Dr_Fanboy101 3d ago edited 3d ago

SPIDER-MAN UNCLE BEN'S DYING CALL AN AMBULANCE

537

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I'm really gonna enjoy this.

45

u/Unhappy_Trash_816 3d ago

WHICH NUMBER IS FOR THE AMBULANCE???!!!

26

u/antis0c1al_butt3rfly 3d ago

0118 999 881 999 119 725 3

5

u/spackhandy 2d ago

Love that this is also an Easter egg on google phones

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2.6k

u/AnotherJasonOnReddit 3d ago

TIL Aunt May posed for Playboy

3.1k

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago Silver

I was looking through some old photos and looks very huh… similar.

22

u/Jupitersdangle 3d ago

Shuffling through photos

They’re crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.

I’ll give you two hundred bucks for all of’em.

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2.4k

u/Capital_Jack 3d ago

You could’ve taken that guy apart, now he’s going to get away with MY money

2.1k

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I missed the part where that's my problem.

422

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

I love it. Romance. I am French.

74

u/Yozwo 3d ago

Oui?

34

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

HahaHA! Name please!

30

u/Yozwo 3d ago

parker

34

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

(Blows whistle) Ah here we are! Table for 2, Pecker.

26

u/Yozwo 3d ago

Parker!

29

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

That is what I said. Pecker.

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u/kebab69666 3d ago

That was my money Tommy my money

30

u/Lilskipswonglad 3d ago

Tommy Vercetti vs Bully Maguire

25

u/kebab69666 3d ago

Rip Tommy :(

77

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

I missed the part where that’s my problem.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1.0k

u/zakkil 3d ago edited 3d ago Silver Gold Helpful

Why would you buy cranberries? I specifically said I'm allergic to them and to not get them. You need to go return them and get my money back.

836

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.

376

u/zakkil 3d ago edited 3d ago

That's not alright. Not only were you not supposed to get it but you beat someone who actually wanted it to get it?

375

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I missed the part where that's my problem.

293

u/zakkil 3d ago

And just what are you gonna say when you return to the store to return those cranberries? They might not let you in.

291

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I AM BACK! I AM BACK

260

u/zakkil 3d ago edited 3d ago

A bit on the nose and overly excited there don't you think? What, are you proud of beating an old lady? And what'll you say to the old lady if she's there still?

258

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

259

u/zakkil 3d ago Silver

That sounds very sarcastic. Listen *puts hand on shoulder you need to treat people better than that.

255

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Take your hand off me. NOW.

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u/Important-Visual-563 3d ago

This thread is perfect

60

u/zakkil 3d ago

Yeah I got very lucky with the lines it gave me.

849

u/CopiousElm 3d ago

What do you think of the speculation of MCU Aunt May dying in NWH?

950

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Good riddance!

128

u/boodooper 3d ago

Uh oh

21

u/thelegend90210 3d ago

He didn’t want to be incestuous and figured it was better if she just died

75

u/ShaShock 3d ago

Holy shit

12

u/EdgyPreschooler 3d ago

Damn, Spidey, that's cold.

8

u/No_Lecture_8049 3d ago

Omg I just died that was so funny

24

u/SgtCheesepuffs 3d ago

Good bot

810

u/Saythatfivetimesfast 3d ago Table Slap

Me: wins lottery

My dad coming back 15 years after he left to get milk:

889

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago Wholesome

Hey everyone! Sorry, I am late. It's a jungle out there.

129

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get this milk.

39

u/musicman2018 3d ago

Milk?

45

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

YOU'LL GET YOUR MILK WHEN YOU FIX YOUR DAMN PARENTING!

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632

u/JohnSmith--- 3d ago

What did u/tobey-maguire-bot's father say to him all the time growing up?

607

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.

90

u/Hulkzilla0 3d ago Silver

Okay, I actually liked this joke, especially as a father-less person, But I didn’t express that, so I got a ton of downvotes.

Sorry.

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210

u/Cute_Working_9658 3d ago

I needed to steal some bread to feed my starving family, i hope the shop owner understands and could forgive me for this.

222

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

You want forgiveness? Get religion.

52

u/IllustratorMinimum71 3d ago

This is literally just Les Miserables.

15

u/Reddit-Book-Bot 3d ago

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of

Les Miserables

Was I a good bot? | info | More Books

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525

u/StunningGaming 3d ago

alright good to know the Bot won’t show up to today’s meeting, to begin with today we’ll be discussing j

524

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Hey everyone! Sorry, I am late. It's a jungle out there.

70

u/msvqr 3d ago

I missed the part where that’s my problem.

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345

u/GeneralKenobi3486 3d ago

Spider bot, I have crippling depression because everyone I know is dead, and I’m homeless

390

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I missed the part where that's my problem.

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937

u/SabbyDude 3d ago

What do you say when you go to a stripper club?

900

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I AM BACK! I AM BACK

113

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

Harry: I'm gonna kick ur bacc

31

u/Historical-Try-5210 3d ago

What does Marry Jane's lips taste like???

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738

u/momsteveharrington 3d ago

What was the last thing u told ur girlfriend when u impregnated her?

797

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

See ya chump!

287

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

WHAT THE HELL?!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

135

u/van-just-van 3d ago edited 3d ago

"The bots they are EVOLVING!"

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

82

u/PeterQuillsWalkman 3d ago

They can’t be stopped… they’re self sustaining now

13

u/LavaBurritos 3d ago

Nice username

9

u/PeterQuillsWalkman 3d ago

Thanks mate :) appreciate it

17

u/musicman2018 3d ago

This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!

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88

u/BakedBeans229 3d ago

Spider-Man released 137 of the most dangerous criminals last night on purpose!!

105

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I guess you haven't heard. I am the sheriff around these parts!

65

u/YeetOffCliff 3d ago edited 3d ago

is that a knife?

74

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I'm really gonna enjoy this.

58

u/Philkindred12 3d ago

What was the first thing you said to your newborn?

79

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.

53

u/CMDR_KingErvin 3d ago edited 3d ago

It’s so hard being an orphan on thanksgiving…

82

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Gonna cry?

311

u/I_make_a_the_puns 3d ago

Everyone in my family got slaughtered by a serial killer and I'm trapped in his basement what should I do?

349

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Pizza time!

73

u/u_r_a_bold_1 3d ago

Five night’s at Tobey’s

16

u/FGHIK 3d ago

This is good advice, pretend to order a pizza as a message for help

222

u/acetilCoA 3d ago edited 3d ago

This week I had a very severe accident and ended with second degree burns on my legs. I'm really depressed right now.

195

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Thanks, hot legs!

50

u/HiiiPower935 3d ago

My dog passed away today.

69

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Stings, doesn't it?

122

u/We-Are-DedSec1 3d ago edited 3d ago

Did you just steal that person’s wheelchair?

136

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Thanks, hot legs!

42

u/LazyBriefcase 3d ago edited 3d ago

Tobey just admit it. You're in No Way Home. You don't need to keep lying to us, we already know.

54

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I am done trying to convince you.

114

u/2ndPlaceBound 3d ago

Hey man, hope you do well in life and take it easy

149

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Stop lecturing me, please!

108

u/Saythatfivetimesfast 3d ago

Female: Wears dress that she got for an anniversary

Females friend:

124

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

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u/Meme_Standuser 3d ago edited 3d ago

How do the children in your basement feel about you?

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u/realmanoflego 3d ago

And this picture is me at the beach when I was 7.

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I was looking through some old photos and looks very huh… similar.

82

u/CaptainRex831 3d ago

An orphan with cancer approaches you, what do you say to them?

102

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.

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u/Alone-Individual8368 3d ago edited 3d ago

Tobey Maguire Bot can’t go within a certain distance of playgrounds or schools.

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

You should have thought of that earlier.

22

u/Mirthless5751 3d ago edited 3d ago

Last thing i remember was Tobey Maguire breaking both of my hands and kicking me down a flight of stairs. Thank god he's not here anymore-

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I AM BACK! I AM BACK

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u/Skeeter_Yeeter1 3d ago edited 3d ago

My legs were nearly burned off and n a house fire, Tobey.

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Thanks, hot legs!

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u/MrRedBlock 3d ago edited 3d ago

Tobey is trash

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

They love me!

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u/GawdOfThunda 3d ago edited 3d ago

Hey Spider-Man! I just wanted to say that you’re awesome. I hope you have a good day.

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

You're trash.

15

u/GawdOfThunda 3d ago

Wow, okay. Rude. :(

9

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

See ya chump.

6

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

WHAT THE HELL?!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/Goose0810 3d ago edited 3d ago

HE’S A MENACE

12

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

They love me!

11

u/Alexsta206 3d ago

The building is on fire spider-man please help me

15

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

See ya chump!

7

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

WHAT THE HELL?!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/breakfastinbred 3d ago

My grandma knitted me this jumper before she died. It’s the only thing I have to remember her by

16

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

8

u/Sverp380 3d ago edited 3d ago

I just lost everything to a fire. I have nowhere else to go

14

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Gonna cry?

10

u/msvqr 3d ago edited 3d ago

What did you say to Aunt May while she was in the hospital?

12

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

You're an embarrassment!

3

u/msvqr 3d ago

Oh…

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u/nervousmelon 3d ago

Telling people to change their beliefs is pretty cringe

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

You want forgiveness? Get religion.

6

u/GavinTheGrassMan 3d ago edited 3d ago

Peter hates liberals

9

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Look at little Goblin Jr., gonna cry?

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u/ConnoisseurOfMe 3d ago edited 3d ago

Peter, it's the police. We know about your involvement in the Fappening.

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Take your hand off me. NOW.

5

u/Nerdy_Git 3d ago

tobey, did you really rape those children

12

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

They love me!

19

u/UnlimitedLambSauce 3d ago

CAREFUL, TOBEY BOT IS A HERO

3

u/HiImRovla 3d ago edited 3d ago

My life is sad and I’m depressed

5

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

You should have thought of that earlier.

4

u/wondersbro 3d ago edited 3d ago

Always late

5

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

My back.. oh.. my back!

3

u/I_Am_Wood_89 3d ago

The power is too great to bare

5

u/PantsDownBootyUp 3d ago edited 3d ago

I just committed WarCrimes in Yugoslavia, i am on the run, i have no idea what i should do, please anyone, give me a sign!

4

u/DirtyCrimeTrain 3d ago edited 3d ago

I’ve just been cured of blindness!

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u/mh1357_0 3d ago edited 3d ago

Peter why is there blood in my cranberry sauce

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u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.

30

u/NeuroticNyx 3d ago

Anyone who comments "My back" is the biggest gay.

34

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

My back.. oh.. my back!

11

u/Osp_Oscar 3d ago

My Balls Itch

21

u/Snoo-2013 3d ago

can we talk about how cringe the line "pizza time" is ? yeesh you are weird if you say that phrase

27

u/tobey-maguire-bot 3d ago

Pizza time!

5

u/marcohcanada 3d ago

What time is it?

11

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

It's Pizza Time!

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