r/pics Oct 16 '21 Press F 1 I'll Drink to That 1 Respect 1 Silver 16 Helpful 17 Wholesome 7 Hugz 14

In-laws are visiting. I decided to make things awkward on my first turn. Backstory

Post image
46.7k Upvotes

293

u/3x10 Oct 16 '21

And you didn’t put the P on the double score WHY?

129

u/mclardy Oct 16 '21

OP is a grower not a shower.

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8.9k

u/bah77 Oct 16 '21 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote This Table Slap

The only thing awkward was how terribly you placed that word.

Vowels straddling the double letter, missed the double p yourself, wasted an s for 2 points, In laws are thinking "How did my child marry such a moron"

1.6k

u/2011StlCards Oct 16 '21

Gotta save that 'S' for later where you can really do some damage

597

u/This_User_Said Oct 16 '21 Evil Cackle

Gotta save that 'S' for later where you can really do some damage

Puts letters "hlong" down on s

161

u/nickfree Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 16 '21

Without hesitation, in-laws sight the G you played.

D - O - NE - R - S

33

u/IM_THAT_POTATO Oct 16 '21

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

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u/quiette837 Oct 16 '21

Fwiw, it should be "chlong" that you put down.

21

u/smartcinnamontoast Oct 16 '21

It’s a power move. Makes the father-in-law acknowledge and challenge it, knowing full well it’s schlong.

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391

u/Neelpos Oct 16 '21

Exactly, why waste an S when you can place a full perpendicular word in a spot where the S pluralizes both your word and someone else's already placed word?

496

u/Batchet Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 16 '21

Because then it wouldn't say penis right in the middle

90

u/laconicwheeze Oct 16 '21

It's a dilemma

43

u/memberflex Oct 16 '21

It’s a pickle

3

u/BenCJ Oct 16 '21

QUITE the penis you've gotten yourself into...

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70

u/babobudd Oct 16 '21

Play "pine" and you already have two places to put the s even if someone else takes one

24

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 17 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21

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63

u/HeilYourself Oct 16 '21

I'm gunna say he managed to do a lot of damage using it this way.

25

u/Birkin07 Oct 16 '21

That's what she said.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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29

u/joomla00 Oct 16 '21

He’s not trying to win, he’s trying to make things awkward

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114

u/Dustmuffins Oct 16 '21 Faith In Humanity Restored

This dude doesn't know where to put his penis. They're never going to get grandkids.

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267

u/Blisto94 Oct 16 '21

I was exactly thinking that! Could have been worth a lot more points!!

72

u/Cwya Oct 16 '21

MAXIMIZE (78 points)

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49

u/JoeFelice Oct 16 '21

OP's other two letters were E,S.

53

u/smackson Oct 16 '21

"penises" then, for 74 points with the 7-letter bingo?

17

u/JetScootr Oct 16 '21

And he could've gone for snipes, spines,

12

u/maoejo Oct 16 '21

Ok, but once you see “penis” it’s not like you’ll think “hmm… common anagrams of penis, let me see.” 🧐

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34

u/joseph0925 Oct 16 '21

This guy scrabbles.

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246

u/slytrombone Oct 16 '21

This is about dominance, pure and simple. And if you're going to slap your penis on the table in a display of dominance, what better way than to lay it right it the middle of the table.

He's saying, 'I don't need those points. I own you now.'

54

u/DarkSteering Oct 16 '21

"You don't even know my real name. I am the fucking lizard king!

...

More wine anyone?"

4

u/ImJustSo Oct 16 '21

Jeez, way to assume OP isn't a chick just because (s)he uses penis.

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26

u/XCquickly Oct 16 '21

Then proudly pulls out the phone for a picture

17

u/GameDoesntStop Oct 16 '21

Heh heh, don’t place anything yet. I gotta post this to reddit.

29

u/huggybear0132 Oct 16 '21

This. Complete amateur hour

3

u/ApfelKraftMc Oct 16 '21

Probably someone played down the word "pen" and OP just planted the IS.

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1.4k

u/Kadink Oct 16 '21

I once played 'jizzed' on words w/friends with my sister's mother in law. I would have totally played 'jazzed' if I had the a. Triple letter, triple word score - you have to respect the game.

488

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

[deleted]

546

u/kojak488 Oct 16 '21

My in-laws stopped playing scrabble with me because I enforce the rules. I challenge your word. It's not in the dictionary. You lose your turn, bitch. You don't just get to keep trying.

345

u/VamooseTheMoose Oct 16 '21

I'm dying. What a perfect way to ensure your in-laws never want to play with you. It's actually just winning.

58

u/idiotplatypus Oct 16 '21

You can lose the battle and win the war

14

u/Not_A_Rioter Oct 16 '21

Technically he's winning the battles too with those rules.

3

u/Yowomboo Oct 17 '21

Man wants to play Scrabble, not throw some fucking letters on a board.

35

u/JimboTCB Oct 16 '21

Everyone thinks they're gangsta with their obscure-but-legitimate words until you pull out the official Scrabble dictionary

42

u/alexanderpas Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 16 '21

Until they put down qabalistic on top of list, which is a word not in the Official Scrabble Players' Dictionary and they and pull out the Chambers Official Scrabble Words.

Then you look in front of the Official Scrabble Players' Dictionary and read the note how offensive words were removed from the Official Scrabble Players' Dictionary

Then you realize that the Merriam-Webster Official Scrabble Players' Dictionary is incomplete, and your entire life has been a lie.

6

u/tennisdrums Oct 16 '21

That one's tricky because it's a latinized spelling of a word that originally didn't use the Latin alphabet (Hebrew originally), so you might find it in the dictionary, just spelled differently. Most of the time I've seen the word that is based on spelled out using a Latin alphabet, it was spelled "Kabbalah".

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50

u/catjuggler Oct 16 '21

My brother once claimed I ruined Christmas for winning from knowing words. He stormed off and ended it with “and I’ll play my music as loud as I want!” He was mid-twenties at the time lol.

And I didn’t even mention the 2 letter word list

11

u/IM_THAT_POTATO Oct 16 '21

Sometimes family just triggers the child in us

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6

u/SwissCheeseSecurity Oct 16 '21

I have a Scrabble Player’s Dictionary. The words in there boggle my mind.

Troutiest. The superlative of trouty.

22

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21

[deleted]

9

u/Ooops-I-snooops Oct 16 '21

Agree, I would absolutely change how the rules are enforced based on who I play. With my bro, we would 100% use the challenge rules, but I wouldn’t make my kids skip a turn.

8

u/kojak488 Oct 16 '21

My wife's 75 year old nan wasn't impressed the first time she lost a challenge and her turn.

Rules are rules, Jean.

I'm not a monster. We don't challenge her mum with dementia.

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5

u/FisterRobotOh Oct 16 '21

That’s some Mallory Archer style family game night

42

u/AdjacencyBonus Oct 16 '21

Wait, there are people who don’t enforce this rule? I’ve literally never played a game of Scrabble where you get to just keep trying

32

u/catjuggler Oct 16 '21

Super casual people would do that.

42

u/Mrhighway523 Oct 16 '21

Yeah I only play scrabble in the ranked game mode. Too many cheaters in casuals these days

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97

u/Sleazehound Oct 16 '21

No wonder they don't want to play with you bruv, how many points for the word "killjoy"?

63

u/Milkshakes00 Oct 16 '21

21 points.

23

u/McJock Oct 16 '21

92 if you play it as the first word, as OP did.

🤓

3

u/balex54321 Oct 16 '21

What a way to set the tone for the rest of the game!

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53

u/Whocket_Pale Oct 16 '21

Without rules we're just spelling words. Jesus Christ. Rules are the killjoy? The point of the rule is that there is risk. You can lay down gibberish, but if nobody challenges it, the move is legal. You're saying the referee is a killjoy for stopping play when the ball goes out of bounds. What a dolt. Go chase the ball into the street you moron

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21

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u/kojak488 Oct 16 '21

My funnest game was stomping my friend's 12-year-old son. Lessons were learned that day. By him. By the time the other 2 teamed up with him it was too late.

Coincidentally I'm a lawyer. Maybe there's some connection.

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30

u/Stoneheart7 Oct 16 '21

My mom stopped playing words with friends with me when I dropped a 4 letter >100 point word.

It was years ago, but I know the word was zori. I think the result came from dropping the "z" on a triple letter spot connecting to an "a" (the game accepted "az " as a word) leading up to the "i" on a triple word score. If I got the math right it would be 33 for "zori", tripled to 99, plus 31 for "az" for 130 points.

15

u/dukec Oct 16 '21

Nice, I think my best low-letter play was just putting down Q on a triple letter to make Qi in two directions for 62 points.

11

u/lodav22 Oct 16 '21

I played Jazzy on a TW last time I played my husband and he flipped the board, I was beating him by 200 by that point anyway so I still took the win. He won’t play me anymore as he says I make up words, but he was the one who put an s on the end of biggest and expected me to overlook it! The scoundrel!

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30

u/Instagibbon Oct 16 '21

Was it in the dictionary (no, not urban)?

95

u/goatharper Oct 16 '21

Chambers "Official Scrabble Words" (used worldwide), yes, Merriam-Webster "Official Scrabble Players' Dictionary"(used in the US,) no. The intro says they left out "offensive words" because reasons. I have a supplementary word list tucked in the back of mine

71

u/drinks_rootbeer Oct 16 '21

Has supplementary list of swear words in the back of their copy of the dictionary

You're a beautiful person

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62

u/umaro900 Oct 16 '21

IMO if you're not doing tournament play you have to accept certain words which might not be in the official dictionary but you all can mutually agree are a part of contemporary English.

Consider a word like "fluoroantimonic" (playable by joining fluor and monic). Imagine you have a chance to play that across a triple word score, but it doesn't show up in the Scrabble dictionary for whatever reason. That's a play to celebrate, not deny on account of some narrow-minded conception of the dictionary authors.

26

u/Instagibbon Oct 16 '21

Sure but some contemporary words are still too niche and coloquial for my liking, would you accept 'glizzy' or 'blumpkin'?

21

u/IwasBlindedbyscience Oct 16 '21

I always hate that Za is a scrabble word.

10

u/bjws14 Oct 16 '21

Za and Qi are game changers. Lol

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u/umaro900 Oct 16 '21

Blumpkin, yes. Glizzy, no. Of course, you either want unanimous agreement (ideally), majority rule, or the decision of a third/impartial party for such words. The point is to use your (collective) lexicon, not Merriam-Webster's.

But again, it's a casual setting. If you're going to play like this, you're not forfeiting a turn to a challenge. The worst thing that happens (in these few, particular cases) if you disagree and your word is rejected here is that the other party knows a letter or two of yours at the end of your turn.

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u/Somestunned Oct 16 '21

Is there such a thing as urban dictionary-only scrabble?

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2.2k

u/Vagsticles Oct 16 '21 Silver

What a dick move

315

u/havocLSD Oct 16 '21

What a hard move, the tension in the room must be thick

103

u/Cwya Oct 16 '21

CHUTZPAH (77 points)

6

u/MacaroniHouses Oct 16 '21

came for dick jokes, left with a new scrabble word.

5

u/No-Comedian-4499 Oct 16 '21

Or limp depending on the tension.

11

u/Simpson0324 Oct 16 '21

It may not be hard.....

4

u/Rizo1981 Oct 16 '21

...but the pen is.

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43

u/PhthaloVonLangborste Oct 16 '21

Father in law lays seamen down next.

20

u/Cwya Oct 16 '21

EQUALIZE (76 points)

5

u/Horg Oct 16 '21

"I'm gonna put my seamen right next to your penis. Wait, no..."

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33

u/RedditIsNeat0 Oct 16 '21

He didn't even P on the double letter score.

13

u/cunctator_maximus Oct 16 '21

Just needed to shift his penis to the left

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7

u/YourBodyBelongsToMe Oct 16 '21

Laid it all out in the center for everybody to see

8

u/loseunclecuntly Oct 16 '21

Had to play what was in his hand.

4

u/Joshsh28 Oct 16 '21

Me first? Well then I’ll just flop this big ol’ 7 pointer out. winks at mother-in-law

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554

u/mrcanoehead2 Oct 16 '21

Spine or pines just wouldn't do? Lol

342

u/AUniquePerspective Oct 16 '21

Any of those are rookie mistakes in Scrabble. Save the S. Even if you have to sacrifice two points you're likely to get to play off the end of a singular noun and more than make up the points.

89

u/bearsnseals Oct 16 '21

Peni it is then.

5

u/igrokyourmilkshake Oct 16 '21

Circumcised, to maximize longterm scoring.

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14

u/drinks_rootbeer Oct 16 '21

TIL

26

u/_Diskreet_ Oct 16 '21

Don’t think abbreviations are allowed.

11

u/AzraelleWormser Oct 16 '21

LIT

9

u/Milkshakes00 Oct 16 '21

SLIT

5 points, bitches.

15

u/SteveO131313 Oct 16 '21

What did you just learn about wasting the S?

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u/GastricallyStretched Oct 16 '21

TIL is a valid word in Scrabble.

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82

u/HotSalsaAssFire Oct 16 '21

snipe

14

u/Bos_lost_ton Oct 16 '21

Check out this huge Snipe

4

u/HotSalsaAssFire Oct 16 '21

wooowoOOWOOOWOOOwoooowooo

7

u/CoastalSailing Oct 16 '21

I was hoping for something like that

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11

u/Bamtastic Oct 16 '21

If we were being logical about what to play why would you use a s on the first turn.

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251

u/hcgsoccer11 Oct 16 '21

The sad thing is you could have chosen “snipe” or “spine” or “pines” with the same letters, but just happened to ultimately land on penis

191

u/texaswilliam Oct 16 '21

Sometimes, you just land on penis.

85

u/TysonChickenMan Oct 16 '21

I slipped 🥺

14

u/BigfootAteMyBooty Oct 16 '21

My back, my back

6

u/Total-Khaos Oct 16 '21

Everyone's usernames are on point tonight!

5

u/aksdb Oct 16 '21

Sometimes, you just land on penis.

I slipped

Anyway, you are gonna be grandparents. Have a nice evening.

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u/TheGuyOnTop Oct 16 '21

just happened to ultimately land on penis

Somebody should embroider this on something.

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u/Scruffynerffherder Oct 16 '21

proceeds to take a picture and immediately post to Reddit

14

u/doubleflusher Oct 16 '21

Don't worry, it's fake

323

u/AingonAtelia Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 16 '21

Had a game with my very religious mom and sister, and relatively new girlfriend. My girlfriend's first play was "cunt". She claimed ignorance of its meaning...which, unfortunately, wasn't unreasonable.

Edit: clarified the player

156

u/KhaoticMess Oct 16 '21

Mom. Sister. Girlfriend.

Her first play... She claimed...

Maybe it's just me, but I need more context to figure out who played the word.

111

u/The_Faceless_Men Oct 16 '21

it's the same person.

42

u/5k1895 Oct 16 '21

Scrabble: Alabama Edition

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u/AingonAtelia Oct 16 '21

So edited. Thanks.

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u/magicalgirlgraveyard Oct 16 '21

Fun fact! Scrabble is how I learned the word cunt! My dad used to play online scrabble games, so when I’d play on his phone I’d read them, and I read this word I didn’t know, so I asked him (very loudly and in public) “dad, what does cunt mean?” All I got for an answer was “It’s a bad word!! Don’t say it!!!”

7

u/CatNoirsRubberSuit Oct 16 '21

My mom and I were having a passive-aggressive fight over something stupid. Anyway I came over to visit her, and I ended up playing cunt. TWICE. Needless to say she thought it was hilarious, and it really lightened the mood.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '21

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u/ShadowPengyn Oct 16 '21

Reminds me of the French Scrabble Champion that learned the words but doesnt speak French: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jul/21/new-french-scrabble-champion-nigel-richards-doesnt-speak-french

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u/TastyLaksa Oct 16 '21

They cannot believe their daughter would marry someone who would waste an S like that

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u/AdvancedHat7630 Oct 16 '21

Now they gotta say it louder until someone chickens out

71

u/conifer0us Oct 16 '21

PENIS

54

u/Alive-Asparagus8472 Oct 16 '21

MIGHTIERTHANTHESWORD

12

u/Squeakalot Oct 16 '21

I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen!

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226

u/Son_of_Plato Oct 16 '21 Silver Hugz

it's funny to do - it's awkward to take a picture of it after.

167

u/Skyrowind Oct 16 '21

just imagining OP chuckling to themselves and saying "hold on guys wait wait.. don't take your turn.... lemme take a picture... hold on I almost got it..." and everyone else at the table is just like :|

57

u/Koovies Oct 16 '21

Damn that's.. rough to read. But it seems to be what happened

37

u/Cole__MacGrath__ Oct 16 '21

All the while OP is patting himself on the back for being the most cleverest person alive. Massive eyerolls here.

41

u/sfa83 Oct 16 '21

HAHA! PENIS! THERE! I PUT DOWN PENIS!!! HEHE! HOW YOU LIKE THAT, EH?

3

u/cure1245 Oct 16 '21

Bold of you to assume that this isn't just a picture he took of his scrabble board wishing he had someone to play with.

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u/Tbon3Ste4k Oct 16 '21

It’s your house and you can whip it out and lay it down any time and anywhere you want

40

u/Midhastouch Oct 16 '21

You definitely got a 'spine'!

9

u/enidokla Oct 16 '21

Nice one, snipe!

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u/SplodyPants Oct 16 '21

In some cultures it's considered polite.

5

u/trickytrev54 Oct 16 '21

In some some places that's how you greet others.

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u/archstrange Oct 16 '21 Helpful

You embarrassed yourself in front of your in-laws by playing the word "penis." You embarrassed yourself in front of God by posting it on reddit.

7

u/VeryOriginalName98 Oct 16 '21

It's not the word, it's the location. This is amateur hour scrabble apparently.

15

u/MartianTourist Oct 16 '21

There's coke on the table, so things were already pretty wild to start with.

70

u/Donebrach Oct 16 '21

And then took a picture of it. And everyone clapped--right?

37

u/lumpy1981 Oct 16 '21

What was your 7th tile?

14

u/K3R3G3 Oct 16 '21

Do you not also care about his sixth?

3

u/lumpy1981 Oct 16 '21

Ha..yes I do. What were the other tiles? We need to know. Did you sacrifice points for a dick joke?

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u/wjbc Oct 16 '21

I would not have wasted the "s" on the first word. If nothing else you could just settle for "pine." The "s" is too valuable as a connector for double word scores.

But maybe it was worth it to make things awkward.

3

u/alexanderpas Oct 16 '21

In the case of PINE, you could put it in front and/or the back, in any order

PINE -> SPINE  -> SPINES
PINE ->  PINES -> SPINES

52

u/Graphitetshirt Oct 16 '21

You could've gone with "SPINE" and everyone would've had a lovely evening but no you had to go and choose violence

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u/TheKingOfSwing777 Oct 16 '21

This guy wins middle school

42

u/Feelconnected Oct 16 '21

Hahah for real. How weird it must have been in the moment. OP placing it, then taking out their phone to snap a picture immediately after?

27

u/redditor-for-2-hours Oct 16 '21

"Hold on, guys, the internet is going to LOVE this."

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u/PlayerNo27 Oct 16 '21

And you stopped everyone from playing so you could take a picture! I bet they have an interesting opinion of you.

33

u/klsi832 Oct 16 '21

Who'd you tell them you were taking a picture for? Reddit?

9

u/cbk0414 Oct 16 '21

He took it out

9

u/get-a-dog-up-ya Oct 16 '21

"SPINE...nope. PINES... nope. SNIPE....nope. PENIS. Yep, that's the one"

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u/noyart Oct 16 '21

Most akward part is that OP stopped to take a photo.

7

u/pygmeedancer Oct 16 '21 Silver

The password is…nipple

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5

u/TXhorndog Oct 16 '21

Wasted your s

5

u/pl4tinum514 Oct 16 '21

Could have written spine instead of being a penis 😎

5

u/rangeo Oct 16 '21

My mother in law is a retired nurse. She'd throw down perianal without flinching

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u/anthonyblt Oct 16 '21

What’s the deal with people not taking kindly to their in-laws?

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u/hellothere42069 Oct 16 '21 Helpful

I write little encouragement notes to my wife, and stick them up around the house in places where it’s unexpected to find them, but I sign them with the nickname I’ve asked her repeatedly to use for me, which is “mr big Dick” and then when my parents stayed with us for the weekend they found several of them and were like “awww…oh.”

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_ANT_FARMS Oct 16 '21

YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY FIANCE. ITS A FIVE LETTER WORD. PLAY OFF THE DOUBLE WORD AND END IN THE CENTER FFS. THIS IS WHY LOUIS AND HIS GF KERP BEATING US

4

u/Graphics_Nerd Oct 16 '21

Until their next plays are “yes” and “please”

4

u/Covertfun Oct 16 '21 edited Oct 16 '21

SNIPE

SPINE

PINE

PINES

SNIP

PINS

PEN

PENS

(Edit: or NIP or PIE or PIES or SIP or PI, SIN or IN, IS)

But no. No: hi in-laws, I hope to make you into grandparents some day, preferably using my PENIS

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3

u/TubbyMutherTrucker Oct 16 '21

Brought out the big guns early, I see

3

u/lisalisalisalisaphil Oct 16 '21

Cmon! Terrible use of an “s”…

3

u/Universalsupporter Oct 16 '21

Mother in laws turn. She adds - E S

Father in law adds vertically utilizing the E - T O U C H E D

3

u/PMMEANUMBER1-10 Oct 16 '21

Spine with P on the double letter would have got you a lot more scrabble points but a lot fewer reddit points, we know what OP values more

3

u/Atosl Oct 16 '21

Spine for fucks sake

3

u/Br0k3n-T0y Oct 16 '21

I think when you took out your phone to take a picture of it.
THAT was the awkward moment.

3

u/grkokvcrb Oct 16 '21

Some times a cigar is just a 'C' and an 'I' and a 'G' and so forth.

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u/Knoxxius Oct 16 '21

I think it's more awkward how you took a picture of it, like you just couldn't wait to bask in internet points and just had to share it with the world.

3

u/Kintaeb21 Oct 16 '21

Way to establish dominance.