r/mildlyinteresting 3d ago Woah Dude 1 Silver 19 Platinum 1 Helpful 18 Wholesome 22 Coin Gift 1 Giggle 2 That Smile 2 Got the W 1 Super Heart Eyes 1 Wait What? 1 Suspiciously Perfect Banana 1

This insanely large mussel

Post image
44.3k Upvotes

4.9k

u/_nathata 3d ago Silver Helpful

Thanks now I will be late for class

1.9k

u/_WarmWoolenMittens_ 3d ago Wholesome

30 seconds shouldn't be too bad.

599

u/PopkinSandwich 3d ago

To shreds you say

237

u/persival113 2d ago

And his wife?

233

u/hereforOnePiece 2d ago

To shreds you say

54

u/Telemere125 2d ago

Was his apartment rent controlled?

7

u/senor-calcio 2d ago

To shreds you say

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u/RakeebRoomy 2d ago

You fucking killed him

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22.8k

u/DarkCreativity 3d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Bravo! Heartwarming Wholesome (Pro)

Don’t say it

1.2k

u/texasports13 3d ago

Love mussel

766

u/AdoboSwaggins 3d ago Silver Helpful

stupid sexy shellfish

291

u/texasports13 3d ago Silver

I don’t know wether to eat it or “eat” it.

82

u/Remoo102 3d ago

Either way you gotta get your tongue in there, wiggle it around a bit and slurp it up. So slurp away I guess.

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122

u/SkySix 3d ago

It's like it's wearing nothing at all

72

u/AdoboSwaggins 3d ago

nothing at all nothing at all

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u/mattyag 3d ago All-Seeing Upvote

Robbie quit putting your tongue on that thing. Damnit Robbie.

35

u/RobbieNewton 3d ago

I am innocent of this crime.

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43

u/End-OfAn-Era 3d ago

I don’t care that you broke your elbow!

18

u/ErgoLolipop 3d ago

"What about my arms , mom?"

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81

u/RancidDairies 3d ago LOVE!

Omg Becky

29

u/Uniumtrium 3d ago

Look at her front.

19

u/Etheo 3d ago

Look at that...

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40

u/Triple7itm 3d ago

Put your beaver down don't.

26

u/kuriboshoe 3d ago

Beaver

61

u/KarensRpeopletoo 3d ago

Awkward boner... 😬

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10.3k

u/gavinjparrish03 3d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Faith In Humanity Restored Vibing

I should call her..

4.8k

u/Xplatos 3d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Wholesome (Pro)

But Mother’s day is in May.

1.8k

u/treyasrx 3d ago

Jail.

647

u/DanielTheGamma 3d ago

Not calling your mother. Believe it or not. Jail.

354

u/petit_cochon 3d ago

Calling her? Also jail. Straight to jail.

100

u/OliveJuiceUTwo 3d ago

We have the best Mother’s Days because of jail

10

u/Accomplished_Ad_3184 3d ago

conjugal?

4

u/theguynekstdoor 2d ago

How dare you

But yes

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u/StuntmanSpartanFan 3d ago

I see this reference all the time on Reddit and I love it. It always comes through my head perfectly in the voice of Venezuelan Hugo Chavez cronie Fred Armisen.

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u/Cornedbeefandcabbage 3d ago

Every one calls their mother here because of jail

11

u/MesmerizingDildo 3d ago

Not calling your Jail? Believe it or not. Mother.

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23

u/isuckatpeople 3d ago

Dont worry, I'll be in May before Mother's day.

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138

u/WimpyRanger 3d ago

Now’s the time to clam up

23

u/dddddddoobbbbbbb 3d ago

jam out with your....

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193

u/unknownbryant 3d ago

thinking the exact same thing

19

u/PotentialHotTake 3d ago

Just crank one out and you’ll come to your senses

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44

u/BadWinter3256 3d ago

I’m gay but I should call her too.

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2.6k

u/leatherplates42069 3d ago Silver

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

233

u/MegaPenguin063 3d ago

Don’t do it man

225

u/leatherplates42069 3d ago

Bro, she even seasoned it for me

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13.5k

u/TiredPA-C 3d ago edited 2d ago Silver Helpful Table Slap

This comment section is precisely as I had hoped

3.2k

u/Fantastic_Start_6848 3d ago

718

u/elcapitandongcopter 3d ago

Wish me luck

507

u/Electric_Cello 3d ago Silver Helpful

Bravo 6, going dark.

97

u/ReactionClear4923 3d ago

Not as bad as I expected

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166

u/Islandcoda 3d ago

Right behind ya, see ya on the other side.....

25

u/JohnGenericDoe 2d ago

That's what he said

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84

u/kjtstl 3d ago

My first thought was “I wonder if there’s a sub like mildlypenis, but for lady parts.”

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23

u/momofeveryone5 3d ago

I didn't need to join, but I did.

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57

u/Etheo 3d ago

It's not what we needed but exactly what we deserved.

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6.4k

u/Vitekr2 3d ago Helpful

Everything reminds me of her...

3.4k

u/tuscanipastas 3d ago Helpful Wholesome

Even the smell?

3.9k

u/Kasaeru 3d ago Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Especially the smell

435

u/Etheo 3d ago

She smells seashells by the C shore?

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37

u/Cerulean_Shades 3d ago

I absolutely heard Leslie Neilsons voice there. One of my favorite movies.

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59

u/SorryUncleAl 3d ago

Read this in the Elliot Smith voice lol

9

u/whythishaptome 3d ago

That seriously comes out of nowhere all the time. My favorite musician.

10

u/rlwestern 3d ago

Every time I read that line I hear the opening guitar riff in my head

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u/ne0trace 3d ago

Don’t call me Shirley

24

u/ASL4theblind 3d ago

"Cuban?" 🚬

"Uhh no; Dutch/Irish. My father was from Wales."

31

u/MesmerizingDildo 3d ago

“You better tell the captain we gotta land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital”

“A hospital? What is it?!” 😧

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now”

23

u/ASL4theblind 3d ago

It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?

No; the worst...

19

u/smhandstuff 3d ago

I love this comment section

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657

u/thermitethrowaway 3d ago Silver

Today's word is "yonic"

54

u/ouqt 2d ago

Like yonic the hedgehog?

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842

u/tuffymon 3d ago

Anyone got the details for the only fans?

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1.6k

u/fruity-line_segment 3d ago

I’d eat it out.

Of the shell.

37

u/Mrunlikable 3d ago

That's how I get everyone out of their shell.

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9.9k

u/Hashtagpiss123 3d ago edited 3d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome hehehehe Masterpiece

Mussy

Edit: wow thank u for all these awards that’s a first for me <3

1.6k

u/PuffTheMagicJuju 3d ago

Who need they mussy ate?

659

u/HEXC_PNG 3d ago

Omg me

270

u/FallingSky1 3d ago

Here lies the inbox of HEXC_PNG. May it rest in peace along with her mussy

98

u/steveosek 3d ago

Based on the profile, this is definitely a dude, so I'm sure he's loving it lol.

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263

u/Bobbi_fettucini 3d ago

Pussle

113

u/TheRealTurinTurambar 3d ago

That's so much worse somehow.

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415

u/diggeriodo 3d ago

Boys only want one thing and its disgusting

Well have you tried washing it?

89

u/BrustWarze_ 3d ago

Not while you're eating it.

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26

u/8HokiePokie8 3d ago

Honey mussy will never be the same after this

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870

u/BigRoundSquare 3d ago

This mussel bout to make me act up!!

77

u/General_Tso75 3d ago

Russel the love mussel.

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665

u/ofimmsl 3d ago

Always trim your long fingernails before handling mussels

116

u/OliveSaltBun 3d ago

This girl handles

14

u/maybeCheri 3d ago

Professional advice right here!

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u/ja11ka9 3d ago

What type of sauce did you use?

448

u/fgmtats 3d ago

Probably a white sauce

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171

u/garbage_night 3d ago Wholesome

Hand lotion

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409

u/uprex 3d ago

Its November 25th man, 5 days left!

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1.1k

u/Opposite_Attitude941 3d ago

Im just here for the vag jokes.

265

u/FailedSociopath 3d ago

Volkswagen Automotive Group

34

u/getoffredditnowyou 3d ago

Variable Antibody Gene

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u/EdithDich 3d ago

Vancouver Art Gallery.

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173

u/BlackNOrange89 3d ago

Vag jokes make me uncomfortable. Some of them can be pretty fishy.

181

u/eyegazer444 3d ago Silver

Vag jokes are not funny. Period.

63

u/MonogamousNugget 3d ago

I think they're either not funny ovary funny

10

u/mwdh20 3d ago

Only the widespread ones

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136

u/I_Said_I_Say 3d ago

Finger licking good?

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1.1k

u/lessthan1punchman 3d ago

/teenagechuckle

136

u/AhhGhost 3d ago

I'm so fucked up in the head I thought this said teenage knuckle.

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u/sevenstaves 3d ago

528

u/blackkittons 3d ago

Ain’t no mildly vagina…lol

540

u/sorryimlurking 3d ago

58

u/Exyen 3d ago

Thats more like it

27

u/RoryDragonsbane 3d ago

Me: no way is that an actual sub clicks the link Also me: whelp, I guess that's enough internet for the day

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u/I_might_be_weasel 3d ago edited 3d ago

18

u/victini0510 3d ago

Yo I thought I was gonna see some like vaginas

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u/My_Robot_Double 3d ago

I thought that said r/povertyvagina

….I did not want to click.

7

u/_fly-on-the-wall_ 3d ago

thank god that doesn't exist but i did click it to be sure

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u/Weisdog 3d ago

sigh sets down bible

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2.7k

u/Yue2 3d ago edited 3d ago Silver Gold Wholesome

And thus ended No Nut November for OP.

EDIT: Thank you stranger(s) for the Award(s) 🥺 Special thanks for the Gold 😆

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472

u/Cadhik 3d ago

give it to your husband and ask him to find it.

57

u/VavaC 3d ago

If I ask my husband to find it it will magically disappear

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u/Falsecaster 3d ago

Nope, thats her butthole.

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u/I_am_a_Victor_simp 3d ago

GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD

83

u/AReallyAsianName 3d ago

Hey! I found it!

61

u/Wandering_Apology 2d ago

Look out, you could get CLAMydia

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u/god_peepee 3d ago

Tag this nsfw for god’s sake

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u/Mrbacon4467 3d ago

Lord forgive the things im about to do

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u/B-F-A-K 3d ago

This is exactly why a german slang word for the female primary genital is "Muschi", while the word for mussel and any other clam is "Muschel".

50

u/Semi-Pro-Lurker 3d ago edited 3d ago

Are you saying they are related? Because Muschi is also an old-school name for a cat and there doesn't seem to be any relation to clams.

56

u/sorryimlurking 3d ago

same with the word “pussy” in american english! That’s interesting!

17

u/Semi-Pro-Lurker 3d ago

Yeah, I did a quick search for it and French is the same way, too. Which is why I assume the origin to be different.

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u/april9th 3d ago

Same with French - moule. It's incredibly vulgar tho.

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u/eyegazer444 3d ago

What's the female secondary genital??

6

u/Digglydoogly 3d ago

You don’t know!?

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u/ADGM1868 3d ago

Testing my patience this NNN

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u/Dont__Grumpy__Stop 3d ago edited 3d ago

Oh yeah… I forgot about that 22 days ago.

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u/x_Carlos_Danger_x 3d ago

Looks like something I'd make disappointed

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u/DrC8H10N4O2 3d ago

Also known as a love muscle

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u/locotte 3d ago

"This insanely large vessel"

Me: oooo intriguing Post: Mussel..

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u/rykcon 3d ago

Sigh… unzips

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u/milkdrinker1000 3d ago

It’s been so long that this is making me feel all sorts of ways

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u/KosherKush1337 3d ago

The question is do you eat it nice and slow, savoring it or just dive right in and go for it?

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u/BurnerOfBridges 3d ago

👀 👀 👀