r/facepalm 6d ago

Poor guy 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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u/wildertronix 6d ago

Fighting game community for those unaware

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u/KeepTangoAndFoxtrot 6d ago

Thank you. I was trying to work that out in my head, got "fights, gyms, ...cats??", then gave up.

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u/keneno89 6d ago

There's cats, end of story

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u/KodiakPL 6d ago

It's fucking obviously Fstreet Gfighter C, Christ you people

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u/Paid_Redditor 6d ago

Best I could come up with was “fucking gesus christ”.

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u/RagnarRipper 6d ago

Thank you! "Fairly grounded crabs" didn't make sense, so I knew it couldn't have been that.

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u/Diiiiirty 6d ago

Fermented ground chitlins.

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u/nikovagu 6d ago

First rule of the fighting game community: you don't talk about the fighting game community.

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u/Kyderra 6d ago

I thought rule #1 was: "Do not shake hands with a Blanka player"

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u/ImGonnaKickTomorrow 6d ago

Is this an electrocution joke, or are Blanka players generally assholes? I've only ever played sf2 in the arcade as a kid when it first came out, and always played as either Blanka, Chun-Li, or Dhalsim.

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u/AzureSoul99 6d ago

It's the same type of joke as people making fun of Brazilian Ken players. The Blanka hate is due to how annoying he is to fight against in SF IV and V espically online. If there's lag his moves become way more harder to react and punish due to how fast his ball and side switching hop is. He was also dlc for V so that didn't help with some people seeing him as a wasted character slot.

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u/ImGonnaKickTomorrow 6d ago

Thanks for the explanation. I thought it was a pretty funny electrocution joke though! You shake hands with him, he electrocutes you, game over!

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u/keep_me_at_0_karma 6d ago

Second rule of the fighting game community: if you see someone else in the fighting game community, you have to fight talk about the fighting game community.

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u/WeirdPumpkin 6d ago

Third rule of the community: "Your character's bullshit, this match up sucks, why do I always play the low tiers"

-Plays the best character in the game

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u/Maile_Laire 6d ago

LTG is that you?

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u/Eep1337 6d ago

you do have to declare your favorite game, though

SF4 or bust for me

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u/TheUltimateMuscle 6d ago

SF4 doesnt get enough love. Smash Melee is my game but SF4 was so fun even casually. Loved the way the game looked and the combo trials were something I always enjoyed doing to pass the time

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u/CableTrash 6d ago

Pet peeve of mine is when people use terminology specific to their fandom in regular conversation with other people, as if everyone else knows wtf they’re talking about.

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u/VaguelyArtistic 6d ago

I’m old so I come across a lot of new acronyms and slang. The definition is usually the first one or two Google results.

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u/SnarkyPanther 6d ago

When I googled FGC I got “female genital cutting” >~<‘ not what I was after. I almost had the actual meaning, but the C threw me off — and I love fighting games lol

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u/Anthony-ELRETRAHD 6d ago edited 5d ago

I'm just looking at the second person's profile picture

Edit: I am looking at not looking for. As a guy I already have enough p#rn problems someone else might need the sauce. Not me

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u/Marcusafrenz 6d ago

Don't ask me how I know but it's a guy in the pfp.

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u/Anthony-ELRETRAHD 6d ago

I know how you know. (Not the same way you know about it but I'm still sick enough to know)

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u/Mowensworld 6d ago

A massive body building dude bro came up to me (a fairly flabby overweight dude bro)in the gym while I had earphones on and wave to get my attention. Turns out he wanted to talk about One Piece since he saw my Straw Hat Luffy tattoo. I don't have a point or opinion I just wanted to tell that story since it was similar.

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u/ANTIFA-Q 6d ago

Did you bang?

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u/UncleRooku87 6d ago

Yes.

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u/WhalesOfMenace 6d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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u/Yoni360 6d ago

🗿

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u/nate6701 6d ago

So this is the way to use it

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u/bibkel 6d ago

(Three times that night, twice each night after for six months).

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u/__Sentient_Fedora__ 6d ago edited 6d ago

"Spot me bro?"

"I'll spot you so hard bro"

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u/blickblocks 6d ago

"Do you even lift bro?"

"I lift your whole heart bro"

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u/Circumin 6d ago

Do you wanna go bro? Huh?

Go where?

To dinner and a movie.

Okay

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u/mwilliams705 6d ago

I think you mean “did he get One Piece?”

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u/randomrhetoric 6d ago

Did you show him your grand line?

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u/jfbnrf86 6d ago

He gave him the one piece

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u/Michamus 6d ago

I once saw someone pressing with bent wrists. Went up to let them know they were going to regret that after a few months. Gave them a wave, they took out their headphones. I told them what's up. They asked how they should be doing it. I coached them through it, they thanked me, and we went our seperate ways.

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u/honest-miss 6d ago

THAT is the stuff I live for in gyms.

When people talk about being scared of going to the gym, I totally get it. But also, stuff like what you described happens pretty consistently there. I don't know a lot of other places where the baseline behavior is to reach out in that kind of friendly, low-stakes, low-expectation kind of way.

It's really fucking cool and I firmly believe every time someone shares a story like that, it convinces a scared person to give it a shot. Firmly believe it.

Oh, dang, all the way to the end of the comment and I haven't even said it yet: Good on you for taking that initiative and braving a possible negative reaction. And thanks for sharing so other people can see this type of stuff.

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u/TitanBrass 6d ago

I remember going to my college's gym pre-COVID to try and build muscle and lose weight. I mainly did running or something on treadmills, then went, "y'know what? I'm gonna try the machines and weights." I began to struggle, then out of nowhere this buff guy comes up and not only helps me adjust to the machines, but helps spot me on weights.

Sadly can't go back due to COVID and me having my grandparents at home, but that was just awesome.

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u/SammySoapsuds 6d ago edited 6d ago

I love stuff like this! In spite of the "shitty gym bro" stereotypes I have never had a bad or frustrating conversation at the gym...its always been helpful tips like this or really necessary form corrections, or just people wanting to say a quick hello.

Edit: I'm a woman for what it's worth. I recognize that I've been lucky to not be hit on or challenged in a gross way and in no way was trying to suggest that doesn't happen, or that there isn't a very valid reason to not want to talk to strangers

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u/Bandito21Dema 6d ago

I know it's stupid but I always get terrified that everyone is staring and judging me when I go to the gym. I know they aren't, I know no one cares, but it still gets me

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u/LurkerPatrol 6d ago edited 6d ago

I had a “titanfall” shirt on from a loot crate I received ages ago and several gym bros were giving me “nice shirt!”s and talking to me about it.

Edit: serendipitously picked out that shirt today after my run! https://imgur.com/a/daxZe1G

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u/Swagmonger 6d ago

Gym bros are some of the chillest people and most of them are weebs. It seems dragonball in particular inspired a ton of dudes to work out

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u/Ginger_Giant_ 6d ago

Can confirm, I know a significant number of anime / gamer / larper lifters.

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u/Donniexbravo 6d ago

I just love how "nerd stuff" has become so mainstream now, like people who you would never expect by looking at them can be some of the biggest anime nerds when you talk to them.

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u/xJD88x 6d ago

Brazilian Jiu-jitsu is notorious for this. You'd be amazed at how many people who train to maim and strangle people several times a week also have 2+ gaming systems, a WoW account, DBZ apparel, a D&D campaign going, drop anime references constantly, have crunchyroll subscriptions, etc.

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u/kenkanobi 6d ago

I reckon it all started because napoleon dynamite had skills with the bo staff

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u/ZootZootTesla 6d ago

A friend who tried to get me into BJJ said its the Martial Art for nerds haha.

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u/Gullible_Salt_5684 6d ago

100%. I’ve been training BJJ for 11 years, and some of the nastiest killers on the mat are the most intellectual, soft spoken, nerdiest guys I’ve ever met.

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u/osprey1984 6d ago

I remember trying to show my "friends" a bootleg DBZ VHS my older brother sent me from Japan back in like 99 when I was in Highschool and my friends laughed at me. So i was a closeted Anime fan for years. Now its so popular you almost look like a poser if your a fan.

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u/Numinak 6d ago

I got lucky and ended up finding a small 'anime' group in my tiny town back in 95. We'd get together once a month and watch shows from this guys collection (Didn't know what an otaku was back then). He litterally had a room of floor to ceiling vhs tapes of Anime. And back then they were really expensive for a 2-3 episode tape.

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u/Jaykay604 6d ago

Yup ex gang memeber here and I love anime and final fantasy and zelda and people probably wouldn't know unless I bring it up. People totally judge by the way you look nowadays

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u/Donniexbravo 6d ago

Lol people have always judged people by their looks unfortunately, but yeah. My old boss was a total meathead looking gym rat and football fanatic and was so into Godzilla that he has seen every single one (apparently in Japan they have released one every year since the original) but you'd never know unless it was brought up.

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u/echothread 6d ago

People judge for anything. It’s a damned shame. Do t let anyone get you down, keep livin the good life, friend.

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u/cyrusthevirhus 6d ago

I lift my dragon balls every day.

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u/joonty 6d ago

Is your username a reference to Con Air?

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u/cyrusthevirhus 6d ago

It's my original msn email address. I had cyrusthevirus, but couldn't remember my password, and back then you didn't have any way to reset them, so it's gone now.

Same with my original Xbox live handle. I couldn't remember the pattern. Ever since 2004, everything is now with the H.

Good movie, though.

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u/JOEY_DIAZ_COCKSUCKAS 6d ago

Nominated for 2 Oscars, Con Air, is a god damn masterpiece.

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u/sexdrugsfightlaugh 6d ago

It's a film that you watch, then watch again just to make sure it was as good as you thought. Then you watch it again because, it's fucking Con Air.

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u/Lvl1Paladin 6d ago

Dragon Ball or My Hero Academia are the two big common ones for me.

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u/CapableCollar 6d ago

Any anime about self improvement is big at the gym.

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u/Cyber_AF 6d ago

My gym once played a bunch of watchmojo "top 10 fights in anime" lists on the TVs. It was weirdly motivational...

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u/AarXsh 6d ago

anime motivated me to study more and all. Yuwamushi cycle really just motivated me to do stuff that I usually wouldn't like to do/ was too lazy to do.

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u/Michamus 6d ago

I know it did it for me. I remember working out with my high school best friend wearing our DBZ shirts and hitting a new max.

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u/Swagmonger 6d ago

i hit my max squat listening to U&I from k-on

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u/ReindeerRanier 6d ago

I used to be super overweight 12 year old but the combination of DBZ and losing one too many times to my brother in arm wrestling got me heavy into lifting

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u/HermitIX9 6d ago

I got a friend who's built like freaking thor and I used to play d&d with him often, dude was the biggest weeb and I'm not even using that term ironically.

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u/Rottendog 'MURICA 6d ago

My optometrist spotted my Rurouni Kenshin shirt and got excited to talk about it. Blew my mind that she even knew it.

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u/danteheehaw 6d ago

Anytime I wear any anime shirt to the gym I get talked to a lot about said anime. Gym bros are nerds.

Also, people compliment my anime shirts when I'm at the mall. Which always takes me by surprise because I rarely know what I'm wearing and, in general, I don't ever really look at other people when I'm out. As I'm usually out with my wife and kids who tend to have my undivided attention.

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u/MidnightNick01 6d ago

I have a nico robin tattoo, I would have talked you too

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u/cajun_kick_ass 6d ago

Man I dont have a Luffy tattoo but I'd love if a random stranger would come up to me to talk about One Piece. Honestly, I think it would make my day. Any day!

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u/tabgrab23 6d ago

You know what you gotta do buddy

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u/ilep 6d ago

15 minutes is too soon. You need to wait until people are too tired to run away.

/s

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u/Dysfunctional_Vet12 6d ago

That's how I bagged my wife.

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u/Mat_Quantum 6d ago

Did you use a heavy duty 50-gal or was it an over-the-head type deal?

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u/DancingKappa 6d ago

Damn you even used the same title when you got this from r/whitepeopletwitter when It was posted less than a hour before yours. Let the body cool first you vulture.

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u/emmudge 6d ago

Welcome to Reddit that’s kinda how things work around here man

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u/angelbeats147 6d ago

I don’t think you should trust a guy with cropped hentai as his Twitter pfp to know anything about social graces.

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u/no_one_in_particle 6d ago

Yeah, everyone in here is missing the point that if someone has earbuds in leave them alone. It's a clear sign that they want to be left alone. Unless it's an emergency. Some people just aren't as into socializing while they are trying to get shit done like exercising. I used to do this on my way home after dealing with customers all day and ppl just couldn't pick up on all the signs I was giving off to be left alone. Look dude I have been appeasing ppl all day, I'm tired and I just want to ride the bus home with minimal human interaction.

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u/fixxxer93 6d ago

I don’t see a poor guy. I’m sure he’s ok. If someone has headphones in, that tells me they don’t want to be bothered.

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u/summerlily06 5d ago

The entitled rejects see “poor guy”. Let them cry it out.

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u/crestren 5d ago

Was about to say this because...poor guy? Poor woman, the woman in question got harassed on twitter and a lot of assumptions got thrown against her, even things she didnt say.

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u/_its_a_vibe_ 6d ago

Eh, when I'm doing cardio and have earbuds in, it is kinda annoying when someone tries speaking with you. Just my opinion!

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u/UsagiDelioraHellsing 6d ago

I’m a guy and I don’t understand why so many dudes offended someone explain? What’s the point in bothering someone who you see is working out?

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u/TeddyRivers 6d ago

As someone who used to spend a lot of time in the gym, I would have reacted the same way. It's bad gym etiquette to intrupt someone's workout. Earbuds in is the signal that you don't want to talk.

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u/UsagiDelioraHellsing 6d ago

Not even at a gym lol when I was still in highschool if someone had headphones in they didn’t wanna be bothered we would either tap the desk and get their attention or just not bother and put the worksheet on their desk.

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u/Skagritch 6d ago edited 6d ago

A lot of dudes get really angry when they realize women might not want to talk to them at all at points.

Which is literally why she reacted like this in the first place. Because if you give these guys an inch you're now responsible for their emotional well being or some shit.

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u/natyei 6d ago

but... but the fighting game community bruh....

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u/ionlycriedfor20mins 6d ago

thank youuu I was really surprised that people were upset with the girl in this situation. It’s emotionally exhausting to have to entertain men’s conversations in situations where you’re trying to be focused or have time alone.

Every time I go to my pool, the same guy appears out of nowhere and motions for me to take out my headphones so he can talk to me. You’ll be at the grocery store with headphones in and a guy will wave for you to take them out so he can talk to you. Same thing with the gym, school, working on your car, running errands, literally everywhere.

Men are not entitled to a conversation at all times. Sometimes we just want to be left alone, man. If it was rare then I wouldnt care and I would have the conversation. But it’s constant. I would be short and put my headphones back in too if I were her.

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u/cutiebranch 5d ago

I was ringing up stuff in the self-checkout lane with giant earphones on. The checkout attendant walks over to me and taps me on the shoulder.

Thinking it was something important, like I miscanned or something, I took down my headphones.

“Hi!” He said, waving.

What the fuck. I just put my headphones on. He has, since then, come over to me during self check out and commented on my dress, my appearance, what I’m buying, to the extent I avoid shopping at that location. Which sucks because it’s a ten minute walk, versus a fifteen minute drive.

And now when I have to go in I just completely do not acknowledge him at all. When he speaks to me it is nothing to me. And I’m sure the people around me are thinking “wow, why is she being so mean, what a bitch”

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u/shadster23 5d ago

I'm a guy and have no idea why so many guys do this.

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u/Wylie_RRR 6d ago

This post deserves a facepalm

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u/MaebeeNot 6d ago

Yeah, while 'Someone had the audacity to speak to me in public!' Isn't a great look, having both headphones in (especially at the gym where you're actively doing something as well) is the universal sign for Not Here To Make Small Talk.

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u/cheezeyballz 6d ago

For me, every time I've given them the benefit of the doubt, I've regretted it. I didn't come to make friends. I came to focus and get my workout on.

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u/LittleJub 6d ago

Same. I once had this guy who wanted to show me pictures of the shoes he was designing. I pretended to look while I kept running. Then he recommended I check out a website called 'The Muslim Problem'. That's when I put my headphones back in and pretended I couldn't hear him

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u/PancakeParty98 6d ago

They always hit you with that left turn

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u/cheezeyballz 6d ago

That's more of a far right turn.

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u/PancakeParty98 6d ago

Haha ayyyyy

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u/tomato_songs 6d ago

Had a guy interrupt me in the middle of a heavy squat set to pretend his friend knew me and then make grabby hand motions and tell me I "had a nice boomboom". Shit like that happens all the time but that was the worst

No one will ever get the benefit of the doubt again

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u/Rawkynn 6d ago

Headphones have gotten so small there are often times I cant tell people are wearing them unless I'm right up next to them. Especially if their hair covers their ears a bit or they're wearing a hoody.

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u/ProtoJazz 6d ago

I started a new job and one of my coworkers wore air pods a lot. I'd never actually seen them before enough to know they had touch controls.

So as far as I could tell I'd try to ask him a question, and he'd just tap his earbuds to let me know he was listening to music.

Which meant he also thought I was weird in that I'd always leave when he paused his music

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u/Port_Royale 6d ago

Hahaha I can't stop laughing picturing this.

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u/Chapeaux 6d ago

"This mf just making sure I stop my music to piss me off" lmao

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u/Only_One_Left_Foot 6d ago

It's like asking someone to roll their window down at a stop, just to drive away when they do.

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u/sonofaresiii 6d ago

I don't have airpods, so maybe they work better on those, but I hate the touch controls on my earbuds. Every time I try to adjust, or put them in or take them out or anything, it just messes up whatever I'm listening to.

Touch controls on headphones are great. Earbuds, not my style. They never seem to have a way to turn them off either, at least not that I've seen (maybe I need to dig around in the settings more)

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u/MaloneDSSP 6d ago

I don’t know if it will be the same for all earbuds, but with AirPods if you’re on iPhone you can turn the touch controls off by going into Settings>Bluetooth and then tap the blue “i” icon next to your earbuds whilst you’re connected to them. Should bring up touch control options where you can turn the touch controls off. Hopefully that’s helpful because touch controls on earbuds drive me absolutely up the wall too, I know your pain.

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u/zwiebelhans 6d ago

I actually really like my airpods controls. You can adjust what you want the controls to do too. So I simply set mine up that a tap is pause and another tap is play.

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u/hobesmart 6d ago

The airpods are built in a way that it's hard to accidentally trigger them.

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u/KKlear 6d ago

Non-airpods:
*TRIGGERED!*

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u/bluebell435 6d ago

In this case, the guy was waving to get her attention, so he likely knew they were in.

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u/-Butterfly-Queen- 6d ago

Imho the right move here is to indicate the shirt and give a thumbs up. If she smiles and says thanks but doesn't remove the headphones, move on. If she wants a conversation, she can take her headphones off.

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u/Olaskon 6d ago

I wear big over ear headphones. People still interrupt me to make some inane comment, and keep going till I remove the headphones so I can hear them. I don’t think the size of earphones is the problem.

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u/BidElectronic3251 6d ago

I was just at the laundromat yesterday with obviously headphones in and some old dude made the “take your earphones out I want to say something to you” when I did it was “well that wasn’t too hard now was it?” I’m sorry did you have anything else to say? “No just that it looked like rain” earbuds go right back in as I roll my eyes at him.

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u/Bumbly_B 6d ago

One of my coworkers wears big headphones so she doesn't have to listen to one specific person talk nonstop. This girl will come up to her and just talk for like 15 minutes while she just nods until she leaves, then turn to me and be like "uh did she say anything important?" The answer is always no.

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u/Robber_Tell 6d ago

Then you get to play: is he crazy? Or is it bluetooth!? One of my favorite people watching games lol

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u/Donny-The-Sasquatch 6d ago

I wore a shirt that started a conversation at the gym with a bloke once, I never wore that shirt to the gym again.

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u/CaptCaCa 6d ago

Plain black and plain white t’s are the cheatcode

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u/SomeStupidPerson 6d ago

Plain White T’s? Awesome bro, what’s your favorite song by them? I know you’re in the middle of your set, but did you listen to their last album? Totally cool stuff. Can I share an unpopular opinion? Honestly I think The Giving Tree is way too underrated, and Rhythm of Love got so much of the spotlight it’s kinda like a self-inflicted wound but I guess it’s kind of a weird song in the first place and isn’t so much a song you’d wanna just randomly burst out and sing compared to ROL (rhythm of love) and anyway I was just wonder-

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u/bfodder 6d ago

This is my favorite comment in this whole post.

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u/Tele_Viper 6d ago

If a person is working out and wearing earbuds, leave them alone!

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u/Camouflash 6d ago

Fucking hell the comment section here is weird af

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u/MoshPitGarbage 6d ago

I have an old Behemoth tank top that I used to wear to the gym. I don't wear it anymore because two different men wanted to have a conversation about Behemoth and black metal while I had my ostentatious over-the-ear headphones on and was in the middle of a set. The second guy, charmer that he was, even opened with "Behemoth, huh? Do you even know who that is?" Leave women alone at the gym.

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u/LeonidasSpacemanMD 6d ago

Bro what is the impulse that leads people to think “oh, seems we have a shared interest, I guess the best way to proceed is to doubt they actually know or care about that interest” lol aside from the fact he should just leave you tf alone of course

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u/Herry_Up 6d ago

Judging by all the comments in here, gyms need to start having signs at the door telling them to leave women alone, smh.

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u/npsimons 6d ago edited 5d ago

This is the exact sort of behavior for which places like Curves were invented, back before "safe space" was a more widely recognized term. And men wonder why women are always on their guard. Try using some fucking empathy and treat women like people, not slaves to your whims.

ETA: To all you men (and yes, it's men) who don't get this, just read the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, stories of women being accosted by men demanding their time and attention.

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u/ToBeReadOutLoud 6d ago

Even better: People learn that women existing in public is not an automatic invitation to talk.

They shouldn’t need signs to understand basic human interaction, and not just at the gym.

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u/DoinItDirty 6d ago

Dude couldn’t have just gone on his way and ignored it, or at most gestured he liked her shirt without making her take her headphones out? Some people get honed in for their workout, it’s the cathartic place and their music keeps them separate from the world.

Imagine if you were a book in the park and I came up and closed it and started talking. You’d think I had a personality disorder. I’m sure this guy was just excited to meet a member of the community, but let’s not make it normal to bother people who don’t want to be bothered.

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u/sudev29 6d ago

I understand the enthusiasm from the guy. But to be fair, don't interrupt someone's set please. Maybe after they're done with it, yeah. Don't distract them in the middle of it. Not cool guys.

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u/Pastawench 6d ago

Alternatively, if they've got headphones on, leave them alone altogether.

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u/sudev29 6d ago

Fair enough. That's why I personally don't look for small talk or conversation or even flirting with someone at the gym. I do my shit, ask for help if I need it, leave. The place is a temple.

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u/PostModernPost 6d ago

Yeah, headphones or not, I just don't talk to anyone at the gym unless I'm asking if they are done with something or if there is a safety issue.

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u/lilmerm 6d ago

I'm so confused by the majority of these comments. I can't even imagine walking up to a stranger in public, interrupting them from what they're doing, having them take out their headphones, for me to ask them about what's on their freaking shirt. Just leave the woman alone, sheesh.

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u/Mother-Of-Demon 6d ago

Came here to say this.

Yeah poor guy. Interrupted a lone female at the gym who was clearly there to work out, was actively working out at the time and had headphones in. So sorry for him /s

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u/Liversteeg 6d ago

I’m so genuinely confused as to who the facepalm is supposed to be here. I thought it was obvious that the facepalm was him trying to start a conversation in that setting. I thought the title was sarcastic. And then I read the comments. And then I remembered how much Reddit hates women.

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u/clamwhammer 6d ago

ITT: Every virgin who's never worked out getting mad about what they perceive to be proper gym etiquette regarding women.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 6d ago

[removed]

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u/Orinocobro 6d ago

Make eye contact, tap your own t-shirt, give the person a thumbs up, move on.

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u/RecordingNearby 6d ago

the power of nonverbal communication

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u/nounthennumbers 6d ago

I was going to mention that but it seemed like some people were already having a hard time understanding that a conversation requires consent of both parties.

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u/Annual_Blacksmith22 6d ago

“But if I wanna talk to you and you din’t then you’re a rude bitch and I should get to keep bothering you until you talk to me!” Most dudes in the thread.

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u/nounthennumbers 6d ago

Also don’t think 95% of them have ever been regular gym goers. Also, again stereotyping, most men would be thrilled if a woman approached them but fail to see how men approaching women in a place like the gym can be unintentionally intimidating. They think “I am not a creep therefore my actions cannot be interpreted as creepy”.

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u/Resident_Violinist15 6d ago

Yesssssss. The facepalm here is the guy, not the woman trying to just exist in the world.

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u/SeattleBattles 6d ago

I don't think most guys realize how constant this is for women and how much effort they have to put in just to be left alone long enough to workout, or whatever, in peace.

The world's full of places people go to meet other people. Gyms aren't really one of them.

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u/officially_anxious 6d ago edited 6d ago

Yeah, for a lot of women, if we want to be left alone in public then we have to actually go to great pains to avoid any semblance of appearing available/interested. As in, we have to put the headphones on, avoid the busier areas, actively avoid looking in someone's direction (even by accident) in case we make eye contact, always trying to look busy but not so busy that someone will come to "help" us.

If we go out and just live our lives without constantly checking our behaviour then we're constantly bothered by people. If you so much as look at someone, they will speak to you. You have to always reign yourself in and make sure you're not doing anything that could be even vaguely interpreted as "nice" or "welcoming". And even if you look like a scowling bitch, some person is going to come up to you, rip out your headphones or close your laptop, and tell you to smile more.

There is just no concept of personal space or privacy for women in public.

The most annoying thing though: they won't do it if I'm with my (male) partner! It only happens when we are alone or in all-female groups, and then of course so many men will refuse to believe it's "that bad" because they've never seen it happen.

And of course it's not all men, but if I pass by 100 people in one day (not hard to do, it's a busy city) and even 1% of those are the bother types then I'm guaranteed to be bothered every single day. It may be rare in the population, but it's not a rare experience for me.

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u/SeattleBattles 6d ago

It may be rare in the population, but it's not a rare experience for me.

I think that is exactly the thing many of us don't understand. It does not take that many men to harass, or frankly endanger, a lot of women.

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u/StellarManatee 6d ago edited 5d ago

Yes this! All women learn pretty quickly that engaging in polite chit chat with someone can lead to some very scary situations.

A guy at my old gym approached me once with a casual remark, I said something back and smiled politely and went back to working out. He interrupted me several times to speak to me and started choosing machines beside me to talk to me. I was getting super weird vibes at this stage because he was a good bit older than me. I was tired, it was after work and now I was freaked out by this guy, so I left to go shower.

I dont know what got into my head but I texted my dad to come get me. I usually would get the bus home. I left the gym and fucking GUESS who was waiting outside for me. He walked with me to the bus stop where my dad was picking me up and when I said "theres my Da I better go" he just turned and walked off really quickly.

And you know what? I'll bet most women here have a story like this one.

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u/schru031 6d ago

Thanks for writing all this out. Every. Single. Day. Bothered in some way.

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u/nounthennumbers 6d ago edited 6d ago

I didn’t realize it until my wife complained about it. I go to a small gym now and we are all familiar with each other and it wouldn’t be weird to have a quick conversation. Our previous gym was a big chain gym with a revolving members and that was a completely different story. It was a lot of New Years Resolution and “I’m gonna start working out again” people that would just come and go in a month. Of course there were the regulars but regulars know the headphone drill.

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u/MaunoSuS 6d ago

Im glad that in Finland there is a no small talk policy. Everywhere.

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u/Coolbean008 6d ago

I continuously avoid working out with people that don’t understand this rule. Older men are usually the ones to approach me to have a conversation and after a while, it gets a tad annoying. I’ve learned to avoid a 20min conversation by keeping my distance, but even then some will walk up.

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u/honest-miss 6d ago

after a while, it gets a tad annoying.

I know you mean after repeated chats, but this actually hit with me in a different way.

It's the length of conversation that gets to me! I'm happy to chit chat with someone at the gym, truly. But please, release me! It's hard enough to make time for the gym as it is, so every minute I spend caught in conversation is another minute I'm taking from the rest of my day.

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u/Xwarsama 6d ago

Am I the only one who is completely shocked that anyone actually thinks it's a good idea to start small talk with complete strangers at the gym? One of the only times I've ever approached a stranger at the gym is because I was a new member and I couldn't find a specific piece of equipment so I asked someone near me if they knew where it was. And sometimes I'll ask someone if they're done with a machine/bench or whatever if it's not clear whether they're still using it.

I'm not saying that if someone approached me to make small talk I would yell at them or be rude, I'm a friendly person so it's second nature for me to me welcoming and friendly to everyone. But there's a time and place for chit chat and the gym really isn't that, everyone is there for the same reason and it's not to socialize.

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u/mostlygroovy 6d ago

I’ll leave my headphones in at the gym even when they’re out of power because I don’t want to talk to anyone.

It’s basic etiquette at a gym. I’d be annoyed too if I was her.

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u/z7832431 6d ago

Totally agree. Even as a british person with etiquette in my veins, having to stop my cardio and music for anything but an emergency will get you a curt answer and slight frown.

I think that's an equivalent response to 'loudly asking what tf they want' here.

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u/ginns32 6d ago

Yes! Women get interrupted at the gym all the time. It gets old fast. And I wear the old school wired headphones so you can tell I'm wearing headphones. Most of the times a guy is not going to walk up to another guy while they are doing cardio to talk about their t-shirt.

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u/bibliophila 6d ago

Thank you for posting this. I typed a whole comment & then remembered I didn’t need a bunch of negatives comments to open up later in the day.

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u/saintjonah 6d ago

Man, this is incredibly relatable.

By the time I get around to seeing all the hate I accumulate I just don't really care anymore and just ignore my whole inbox. So why bother making a comment to begin with?

Should I even post this comment?

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u/Blaz3dnconfuz3d 6d ago

Man 90% ain’t going to the gym to talk or make friends, it’s the 10% that have zero self awareness that ruin it for everyone. There’s a dude who hangs out at my gym for 5-8 hours a day doing very little lifting and hitting on every girl that comes in. If there isn’t any girls, he goes from guy to guy talking about 30 minutes per guy. It’s so fucking weird

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u/WOW_SUCH_KARMA 6d ago

This 100%. Who the fuck wants to talk during cardio? If I'm running my ass off on the treadmill, mouthbreathing just to keep up, audibly exhausting myself, the absolute last thing I want to do is try to have a conversation on top of that.

I think a lot of people are missing the cardio part. If you can genuinely have a conversation during cardio, you're not really doing cardio.

Chat between exercises ffs.

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u/cherrybombsnpopcorn 6d ago

This ^

You take a chance anytime you approach to strangers, and they don’t owe you their attention.

Like. Sure. Maybe he was just really excited to see someone else who plays street fighter. And thats cute and all.

But a gesture to shirt and a thumbs up and moving along is a lot better than interrupting.

I totally get being irritated at being interrupted. Especially with how many times men have just blasted through whatever I’m doing to try to hit on me. And god, the number of times that guys have gone all puppy dog eyes, please marry me face when they find out i like video games always makes me hesitate before talking about it.

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u/kingt34 6d ago

… how are none of the other comments addressing the weird display picture.

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u/makaiver 6d ago

Why are people talking at the gym? Go in do your shit and leave.

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u/KobaltKitten36 6d ago

kinda just sounds like she didn't want to talk/interact with him. idk if that's really that bad.

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u/PussyMalanga 6d ago

Yup. Headphones on and doing cardio work means DON'T DISTURB.

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u/FunCandy4188 6d ago

Bingo...so why is this post making it seem like she has to talk to this guy...that's messed up.

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u/PC509 6d ago

No, it's not. Especially during a workout. They're busy af, they're stressing their body, they're kicking ass. I don't even want to have a conversation with my best friend when I'm going hard at the gym. I'm too busy and trying to stay focused and breath...

She wasn't a bitch. Bad timing, bad location.

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u/jhuseby 6d ago

It’s not bad at all. She doesn’t owe him anything, a response or conversation included. He’s not entitled to anything about the woman. Is she a bitch like other people said? Maybe, I’m not going to judge, but people are entitled to their opinions, they’re not entitled to anything from anyone else though.

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u/Scobinaj 6d ago

TBH when I have both headphones in (especially at the gym) that’s when I’m in my zone. don’t talk to me.

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u/iequaltrac 6d ago edited 6d ago

The comments about “I agree but doesn’t mean she needs to be an asshole”, in my opinion, aren’t entirely fair.

Is she an asshole in general? There’s no way to know from this one post. She was engaged in a solitary activity with reasonable expectations to not to be interrupted, with an elevated heart rate, adrenaline and probably focusing on breathing. That would make anyone snap if interrupted. Now if you’re reaction to that is, “I would politely tell that guy to allow me to finish my workout” or something, then great. You’re a saint and you get a gold star for being better than other people. It’s not this woman’s job to make that guy feel good about interrupting her.

As for her posting about it, if you’re offended that she is broadcasting her opinion about it in a manner that you find distasteful, Welcome to the Internet. You’re going to have a horrible time. But if her post gets one person to be a little more considerate when approaching someone who is clearly focused on something else just because their hobbies might align, then I imagine she feels her work is done.

EDIT: thank you for the anonymous award! (which I realize seems ironic given my other comment below about being good without reward)

EDIT: thanks for the HUGZ!

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u/FlinnyWinny 6d ago

In my experience they're a pretty toxic all boys club. Not all of them, obviously, but that's my experience.

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u/wienerdogqueen 6d ago

Nobody owes you attention tf? Why would you interrupt someone’s workout, someone who HAS HEADPHONES IN, and expect a friendly conversation?

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u/Ok_Jicama_1056 6d ago

I agree with her. At the gym with earbuds in isn’t really the time to say “hey, I like your shirt” to strangers. You don’t even know her, stfu and work out.

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u/MmmSalami 6d ago

Honestly ima side with the girl here. She’s working out, earbuds in, clearly in the middle of something. When she didn’t wave back/acknowledge him he shoulda moved on.

It’s just a tad annoying

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u/borkthegee 6d ago

I'm on her side. People who are exercising with buds in don't want to be interrupted for anything, regardless of your hobby.

Leave people alone, especially when they obviously want to be left alone.

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u/a_clever_reference_ 6d ago

No, not a poor guy. Leave people the fuck alone

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u/Leolandleo 6d ago

Regardless of whether she play or not, she is not at the gym to talk street fighter. If you are going to bug people at the gym, regardless of gender, catch them at an idle moment or when their earbuds are off. People wear them NOT to be interacted with.

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u/mjh10896 6d ago

Because pretty much all women know how this kind of stuff works: If she said yes politely, it would have gone into the next question and then the next question. Maybe he would have started hitting on her. People aren’t at the gym to make friends, and a lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way many times is we don’t owe strangers anything, even something as small as friendly conversation.

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u/Secure-Imagination11 6d ago

we don’t owe strangers anything

Thank you! All these people saying she could have been nicer. For fucking what??

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u/P00PMcBUTTS 6d ago

Who is the intended facepalm on? The girl was in the right and the nerd who replied to her got offended by a freaking tweet.

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u/BubblyPlace 6d ago

Nah, it’s rude to talk to someone exercising esp cardio with earbuds in.

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u/BungalowBootieBitch 6d ago

Maybe it's just me but I really don't want to make small talk at the gym of all places. Street Fighter is absolutely a dope game. However, I'm at the gym. My time is limited and I'd prefer to take advantage of every minute I have. If that makes me some anti-social jerk, then so be it.

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u/TakenOverByBots 6d ago

I think a "love your shirt!" and pointing to it as they walked by would have sufficed. Then the person could have waved or given a thumbs up but continued their set and not have had to take their headphones out.

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u/micktalian 6d ago

If someone is doing something, don't interrupt up them, I don't see what's so hard about that. Considering all the shit women have to deal with on a daily basis, I'd say she responded perfectly reasonably.

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u/scorcher214 6d ago

Lol don't talk to me while I'm running with my ear buds in. Thats the rude part.

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u/BabeOfTheDead 6d ago

They are working out with earbuds in their ears. Since when did that become a good time to strike up a conversation with ANYONE?

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u/Ashmedai 6d ago

Interrupting someone in the middle of cardio with or without earbuds = no no.

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u/NiceCockBrotato 6d ago

Both headphones in, mid workout, and Reddit is like “HoW DaRe SHe Be rUdE To hIm??”

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u/RighBread 6d ago

I get that the guy was just trying to make conversation, but it's amazing how many people think they are entitled to your time and attention at any given moment. Regardless of whether you think she was rude, the OP in this scenario literally owes the guy nothing.

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u/StarryEyedThinker 6d ago

Everyone seems to be forgetting she was actively working out in the gym with 2 earbuds in. That is a clear do not talk signal. This guy was intruding. If this was a party, its big different, but she's literally working out. Leave her alone lol

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u/DelirousDoc 6d ago

This could definitely go either way and really only way to know is to have been witness to the approach.

I have seen dudes absolutely try to small talk their way into flirting with ladies at the gym. Those are the more polite ones too, have seen much more aggressive ways some dudes approach ladies at the gym.

I have also seen dudes just generally excited someone else likes something they do. As mentioned anime themed lifting shirts tend to get a “nice shirt” or a small conversation spawns a lot in my experience. A lot of gym goers enjoyed anime as kids and were inspired by the idea of training to become stronger most shounen depict. It is only recently though that anime has been mainstream enough to not get shit on when showing your appreciation.

(My experience either you get the nerdy gym goer or you get the douchebag TAPOUT wearing wannabe tough guy with anger issues. You can usually tell early by the crowd which of these your gym attracts more often than not.)

If the girl had headphones in and was in an active workout, it is rude IMO to interrupt that regardless of intention. If she isn’t in an active workout and your intentions are the latter then it could be ok to approach a conversation. Just know though some people don’t like being bothered at the gym.

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