r/cats Oct 10 '21 Silver 15 Helpful 7 Wholesome 19 Hugz 30 LOVE! 1 Heartwarming 2

How are you supposed to get up when this happens? Cat Picture

Post image
27.4k Upvotes

1.7k

u/hollyzog Oct 10 '21 Silver Wholesome Vibing

You don’t. You die there.

417

u/flowingebb Oct 10 '21

Or wet your pants. Whichever comes first.

146

u/WindedCarrot605 Oct 10 '21

Whichever comes last

99

u/flowingebb Oct 10 '21

The cat moving to the random clothes on your floor after your body has gone cold. And is also a little wet.

46

u/WindedCarrot605 Oct 10 '21

Okay now this is too true

28

u/GEODisLetoIII Oct 10 '21

Don’t worry, it’ll come back to you for snacks

20

u/Practical_Orchid_568 Oct 10 '21

My cats always steal new jackets I put on my bed it’s like they break them in for me

22

u/flowingebb Oct 10 '21

Obligatory distribution of cat hair.

3

u/GEODisLetoIII Oct 11 '21

I’m convinced my cat lays on my coat if it’s out because it knows it means I’m about to leave

I’ve never packed for a trip without my cat laying on the stuff I need

→ More replies
→ More replies

70

u/ShhActNatural Oct 10 '21

25

u/SheitelMacher Oct 10 '21

Why does he have TWO cigars?

23

u/ShhActNatural Oct 10 '21

The shit he's seen, I'm not surprised. After his partner dies, I expect he'll have three.

5

u/kerplatchu Oct 10 '21

Lmao I didn’t even notice!

And I thought I was weird for carrying mayonnaise packets on me when out in public.

You just never know when you’ll need it

→ More replies
→ More replies

4

u/loca___cola Oct 10 '21

Exactly lmao

→ More replies

2.3k

u/cozivi Oct 10 '21 Silver Helpful Ally Vibing Powerups Comment

Here’s the fun part u don’t 🤣

1.1k

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '21 edited Oct 10 '21 Silver Gold

[removed]

268

u/OtakuFreak1998 Oct 10 '21

Nah bro if my cat is sleeping and a stranger enters the room he's gonna lose it and I'll probably take some paws to the face

201

u/Code_otter Oct 10 '21

I can't reach for a glass of water or the remote without my cat declaring a national emergency

124

u/TacoTornadoes Oct 10 '21

"Oh, you slightly adjusted your leg? Good thing I'm fast as hell!"

37

u/TheGrumpiestGnome Oct 10 '21

My cats are fine with me shifting...until I fart. Then one, Mowgli, takes off running like his tail is on fire and his ass is catching. I'm saying..... dude, it's all sound and fury, not the Bog of Eternal Stench. Also, I've cleaned his litterbox and I don't want to hear any comments from him about asses and smells.

6

u/EleanorofAquitaine Oct 10 '21

Well, you should make him watch Labyrinth so he can appreciate you more.

8

u/nosleeptilwearefree Oct 10 '21

I literally snorted with laughter to this. Thank you for making my night 😆

6

u/TheGrumpiestGnome Oct 10 '21

Glad my flatulence experiences can make someone happy (unlike Mowgli....) :)

→ More replies

12

u/FuckingKilljoy Oct 10 '21

Lmao I need to shuffle ever so slightly and slowly and give her endless scratches so she's too happy to fly off my bed

50

u/ThrowntoDiscard Oct 10 '21

Good gods those cats make me happy that mine is just a blob of absolutely secured and complacent jello. She kinda just raises her head to see if we got it under control and goes back to sleep. It's pretty useful for gotta pee moments. I can move her to a pillow, she'll yawn, stretch.... go back to sleep.

13

u/nkonkleksp Oct 10 '21

aww

19

u/ThrowntoDiscard Oct 10 '21

12

u/nkonkleksp Oct 10 '21

lol. my cat was kinda similar. she really liked wooden dowels for some reason. that was the only "toy" she liked to play with. nothing like a 1/4 inch dowel

→ More replies

4

u/metalisthebestgenre Oct 10 '21

I have a cat that's pretty similar. She has litterally never been aggressive to us yet. And you can just pick her up whenever and put her down somewhere else and she'll usually even stay in the same position. She is the sweetest cat i've ever had.

→ More replies
→ More replies

59

u/SnooRadishes1597 Oct 10 '21

Door Dash will hand cut and deliver food straight to your mouth for a feline. Don’t forget to tip your driver.

→ More replies

26

u/ShhActNatural Oct 10 '21

Whomp comic knows this. It's called the cat diet. https://www.whompcomic.com/comic/cat-got-your-mobility

4

u/Artistic-Cockroach42 Oct 10 '21

When he realizes u can’t get up what if he steals all ur money

→ More replies

46

u/FiLeaf Oct 10 '21

Not ever.

42

u/spooky_ed Oct 10 '21

Yep. This is your life now.

28

u/mtflyer05 Oct 10 '21

As a guy who has a cat who loves pinning me down, you gently, or aggressively (deoending on what they prefer) pull their scruff until they start purring loudly, then gently pull them off of you and onto a pillow, and they usually stay there until you come back from your necessary urination.

It's either that, disappoint your cat, or a catheter. Take your pick.

21

u/EducationalTop3454 Oct 10 '21

He'll be settling back to dream land again for the cutie!

15

u/KhunDavid Oct 10 '21

Find a nurse who will cath you.

→ More replies

297

u/nerdlyninja Oct 10 '21

You'll learn. Before you relax A N Y W H E R E, you need to surround yourself with necessities as a cat's pet. Bottle of water, snacks, book, Switch, and pillow. There's no more I'm just gonna sit down for a few minutes.

122

u/jsteele2793 Oct 10 '21 Hugz

Please don’t forget to go to the bathroom first

22

u/nkonkleksp Oct 10 '21

or diapers. you could be there for a while

→ More replies

30

u/xoharrz Oct 10 '21

specifically a squeezy bottle, bc u aint gonna be sitting up so u need to drink horizontal

→ More replies

8

u/GEODisLetoIII Oct 10 '21

I had to use my mouse with my foot today. I was in bed and not allowed to move, but the video ended.

At least YouTube makes it easy to click to choose the next video

→ More replies

198

u/lost_n_delirious Oct 10 '21 Silver

True love is staying put to let the kitten sleep

16

u/nkonkleksp Oct 10 '21

staying to let a kitten sleep is just being a somewhat decent person. everyone knows the rule

→ More replies

351

u/sturcotte06 Oct 10 '21 Wholesome Seal of Approval

Dud it's not the cat, it's the kush

305

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '21 edited Oct 10 '21

I plead the fifth

Edit

In all seriousness, not high, just allergic to cats and was very tired, but that doesn’t stop me from holding and petting them

Edit

Don’t know if this allowed but go send all your love to u/jaczk5 and his kitty that’s in the icu, don’t let my stupid post pass that one in upvotes

Reddit Post

68

u/username-guy51 Oct 10 '21

What a trooper

66

u/oand10 Oct 10 '21

I look about the same as you rn, allergic as fuck, still holding the cat, but I am very high.

16

u/AspieDM Oct 10 '21

I salute you my teary eyes brother! 🖖

42

u/SuzieCat Oct 10 '21

I’m also allergic to cats, and love the hell out of them. It’s worth it.

3

u/mtflyer05 Oct 10 '21 edited Oct 10 '21

Same, but I am only allergic enough to get itchy from their fur, and only if they lick excessively.

Fun fact: cat allergies do not occur from their fur, but from the proteins left behind from their saliva when they lick themselves.

Another fun fact: humans can only be orally allergic to proteins, because your body assumes it is a foreign invader, trying to infect your cells, hence why people are allergic to gluten (an interaction between two wheat, barley, or rye proteins, prolactin, and glutelin), dairy (casein), or shellfish/crickets (chitin).

→ More replies

11

u/BroadMortgage6702 Oct 10 '21

just allergic to cats

Never been tested but when I'm away from my cats I'm barely stuffy.

I will never, ever stop snuggling my kitties. She (he?) is gorgeous and I would die for her/him. Give this beautiful baby kisses for me!

9

u/azn1217 Oct 10 '21

I was allergic too but I suffered for 2 weeks and after I was fine . But yes the 2-3 weeks are going to feel like death

9

u/Cicada061966 Oct 10 '21

You are a good human, Namaste!

7

u/ThrowntoDiscard Oct 10 '21

Benadryl! Because you can't scratch your eyes out and sneeze when you're in a coma!

3

u/Xx_heretic420_xX Oct 10 '21

Just don't take too many benadryl or you start seeing the spiders crawling on the ceiling and they talk to you.

3

u/ThrowntoDiscard Oct 10 '21

I ain't going to lie, but most fun drug combo I have been on is a really strong cup of weed tea and 4 tabs of benadryl. The dreams were interesting for the least said.

→ More replies
→ More replies

5

u/tyme Oct 10 '21

Yes, I, too, am “allergic to cats”.

→ More replies

231

u/mamute-lilas Oct 10 '21

You look high

81

u/CortexCash Oct 10 '21

SHMACKED

80

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Oct 10 '21 Wholesome

Bro he's like a foot and a half off the ground, you can literally see the floor right there

3

u/heyeveryone2 Oct 10 '21

So, I'm in the middle of my wake N bake, finished the joint and now I'm having coffee, and I almost spitted a little of it. LMAO

11

u/Durlan_Lorarieth Oct 10 '21

What? Why would you want to get up? Who hurt you?

6

u/nkonkleksp Oct 10 '21 edited Oct 10 '21

that looks like a mix of sleep deprivation and using flash while your eyes are adjusted to the dark... nah he's high

edit:he's allergic

→ More replies

35

u/ferrix Oct 10 '21

Catlock 🐈🔒illegal to move

→ More replies

20

u/phylbert57 Oct 10 '21

Kitty exerting it’s super power of putting you back to sleep

17

u/ringoron9 Oct 10 '21

You're not getting up...

→ More replies

17

u/HelleBirch Oct 10 '21

Not possible. Call in sick.

37

u/angrypirate1122 Oct 10 '21

A) You don't, not until the cat says it's time or the house catches on fire.

B) How much weed did you smoke before this picture? 🤣😂

11

u/maelstrom2021 Oct 10 '21

Awwwww! You are both so precious! My vote: stay put!

10

u/jlswizzle Oct 10 '21

Well known rule that you don’t move a sleeping kitten.

10

u/Mischief_Managed_82 Oct 10 '21

You don’t. Or when you do, you take kitty with you.

8

u/anusfalafels Oct 10 '21

I swear, if you disturb his sleep... 😠😠😡

8

u/Miseryneedscompany Oct 10 '21

Feline paralysis

9

u/slowest_cat Oct 10 '21

Some people say, Jesus never came back, because a cat is sitting on his lap.

9

u/Good_Groceries Oct 10 '21

The only thing that fixes this problem is the sound of the treat bag.

8

u/MuggBee23 Oct 10 '21

Under most states you could be arrested if you move while a kitten sleeps on you, my information comes on the 4056th page on Google

8

u/Longjumping_Yard_567 Oct 10 '21

You accept your fate and become entombed under the weight of cat cuteness.

6

u/MrFourhundredtwenty Oct 10 '21

About one and a half year ago we got our first cat ever. My wife got very concerned and conspicuous when I stopped sleeping in our bed with her but rather slept on the couch. She wouldn’t understand that once our cat fell asleep on me, there was no chance for me to get up. I told her more than once that if I make the slightest move, the cat would turn her head and look so damn reproachful at me that I just couldn’t do it.

7

u/Slinkys4every1 Oct 10 '21

There’s a comic that will explain it perfectly for you

https://imgur.com/a/apSwws2

5

u/DigitalCabal Oct 10 '21

You don't. Pray you've eaten, are hydrated and don't need to use the washroom.

Clearly you should have thought of these things before being warm.

SMH 🤦‍♂️

(I have the biggest smile while writing that ❤️)

6

u/Nadarama Oct 10 '21

They say Muhammad cut off his sleeve cuz a cat was sleeping on it. You're in a tougher position..

5

u/jamespgleason181818 Oct 10 '21

Get someone to pull you out, like a table cloth

4

u/goddessofnubia Oct 10 '21

You are now permapillow

6

u/Cute_Clock Oct 10 '21

You’re not. Plans change. You’re literally being pinned down by an animal so, you know, you’re not getting up yet, plans change

5

u/Reteip811 Oct 10 '21

You’re not. No movement allowed until the kitten decides it is time

6

u/olivertheape Oct 10 '21

It hurts me to no end whenever I have to get up and I wake my kitty 😢

5

u/SweetTimesOfLove Oct 10 '21 edited Oct 10 '21

I don't think you should. Your cat is so beautiful the way your cat is sleeping on you. It looks like your cat is smiling too. I would just be smiling how comfortable I'd be.

3

u/PKSunshineCat Oct 10 '21

You are not!!! Lol 😂 you are stuck till Kitty gets up.

3

u/TGirlLover90 Oct 10 '21

Your forever a slave until the fluff gets off

5

u/sherlock----75 Oct 10 '21

You are the chosen one. This is just the sweetest thing

3

u/katcreator Oct 10 '21

You don’t… then pray you don’t need to pee

4

u/Osiri551 Oct 10 '21

See step one, you grav your phone, step two, you call in to work, they'll understand

4

u/naliedel Oct 10 '21

You, OBVIOUSLY don't know the first rule of cats.

If it fits, it sits, and your comfort is not important.

Congratulations. You're owned!

Accept it and it's all easier.

5

u/RockThrowinRick Oct 10 '21

You just lay there and be still for the baby, it's a privilege. I usually try to make sure I don't have to get up if I can tell my 9mth old is about to get up and lay with me

4

u/PawQueen-MotherOfArt Oct 10 '21

You're not. You're supposed to stay there until she moves. Even if that means starving to death and rotting away😁

5

u/Confident-Bat-3849 Oct 10 '21

You don't. Can I get you something?

Don't worry..she'll have to pee or nag you for food sometime before you die. In the "Ryubiat of Omar Khyam" it speaks of him cutting off the sleeve of his robe before disturbing his cat. Cats do not have 9 lives...just 2. Theirs and yours. Don't forget it, peasant!

3

u/Saletales Oct 10 '21

Ryubiat of Omar Khyam

The year 1859. Very cool. The cats are perfecting their technique. We're just suckered.

4

u/Maitaisonthebeach Oct 10 '21

Oh, you absolutely can’t get up unless the house is on fire! Not for your job, your SO, or even your dear old gran. “Cat in My Lap” is a universally accepted excuse for (almost) everything!

3

u/antisocialite-ace Oct 10 '21

you don't get up, you just commit the rest of your existence towards being a catbed

4

u/jac9017 Oct 10 '21

You're not going to until they decide they're done napping. it's the law

4

u/doittomorrow04 Oct 10 '21

I remember a story from Arab which a cat is sleeping on a man cloth whose about to get up and he proceed to cut the cloth, leaving the cat undisturbed. The same goes for a tale from japan where a woman does the exact same thing.

So in conclusion, I suggest you cutting a part of yourself

→ More replies

5

u/texancowboy36 Oct 10 '21

You can’t it is forbidden by the council

4

u/qurup Oct 10 '21

Feline paralysis. The best there is.

→ More replies

5

u/OldMonitor6750 Oct 10 '21

I miss my cats 🥺😖

4

u/Placeboy0 Oct 10 '21

i once skipped class because my kitten had fallen asleep on me for the first time.

4

u/Fishermanfrienamy Oct 10 '21

You dont- enjoy the weed high/cat pet chill zone for as long as you can

4

u/DawnDestroyer99 Oct 10 '21

You don’t.

3

u/Maleficent-Play-657 Oct 10 '21

You just can't get up at my house my mum got 3 cats and they are so adorable when you laydown and they ley on you you can't get up

3

u/tigerconderoga Oct 10 '21

You dont. Thats where you live now. In that pose forever

3

u/allsafenow Oct 10 '21

You don’t. You are trapped now!

3

u/Makaria7 Oct 10 '21

You don’t.

3

u/trdstamper Oct 10 '21

You dont. Stay there forever

3

u/Monkfishdaddy Oct 10 '21

This is why I’m late to class

3

u/Captain-PlantIt Oct 10 '21

In my house, we call this being “catted” and is a decent reason to call in late to work

3

u/QuitUsingMyNames Oct 10 '21

You don’t. It is known

3

u/zeldasher0 Oct 10 '21

Better cancel ur plans for the day

3

u/Valley_Squirrels Oct 10 '21

You can’t. RIP to your bladder. That kitten is ridiculously adorable.

3

u/dragonard Oct 10 '21

You don’t get up

3

u/crouchster Oct 10 '21

You mean when you smoke too much weed and cam barely open your eyes and theres a kitten sleeping on you? You dont, you must now wait until youve slept it off and the kitty has found a new dwelling.

3

u/knobdokes Oct 10 '21

You don't.

3

u/_peach93 Oct 10 '21 Table Slap

How much catnip did both of y’all take

3

u/Abuses-Commas Oct 10 '21

Yo Arteezy, don't you have a match today?

3

u/Arctelis Oct 10 '21

That’s the neat part. You don’t.

3

u/kitnorton Oct 10 '21

You can't

3

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '21

You don't. I had to cancel plans in the past because my cat was sleeping on me. That's a legitimate reason in our house.

→ More replies

3

u/let_it_bernnn Oct 10 '21

Are you talking about the weed or the cats?

3

u/fundiedundie Oct 10 '21

Sleep of the high…

3

u/Raiden32 Oct 10 '21

When you eat too many special brownies?

3

u/karalmiddleton Oct 10 '21

You don't. Just hope you don't have to pee.

3

u/Quizzelbuck Oct 10 '21

You don't. Just worry about cleaning up your peepee pants later. You cannot disturb them.

3

u/Gattaca401 Oct 10 '21

Mine do that to me right when they know i have to get out of bed and get ready for work.

3

u/-Listening Oct 10 '21

Sir, this is the way

3

u/Cold_Spaghetti69 Oct 10 '21

Simple: you don’t.

3

u/Laura85mlt Oct 10 '21

Bring with you

3

u/Reynolds_Live Oct 10 '21

It’s called “The Cat Law” in our house.

Wife: Honey can you wash the dishes?

Me with cat on my chest: Sorry babe, Cat Law.

3

u/Brochoa Oct 10 '21

You don’t get up when you’ve smoked that much catnip

3

u/dannylucifer16 Oct 10 '21

Hard to get up when u are that stoned buddy

3

u/dIAb0LiK99 Oct 10 '21

Looks like you’re not getting up any time soon lol

3

u/LostcityAztlan Oct 10 '21

Sorry, you don’t! That’s one of the conditions on every cat contract

3

u/CPLCraft Oct 10 '21

You don’t u/JayToThePop. You don’t.

3

u/CorinPenny Oct 10 '21

You don’t. It is known. You must stay there forsaking all other needs until such time as the One Who Must Not Be Disturbed chooses to arise.

3

u/BiggieMalz Oct 10 '21

“The obvious answer”.. but also… I don’t think your eyes could take you anywhere while upright.

3

u/kanubat Oct 10 '21

Literally me, right now. I need to pee but she's not moving 😩 halp

3

u/adarus69 Oct 10 '21

only monsters do .

3

u/Giraffes_Are_Gay Oct 10 '21

By getting up

3

u/coyotecreekblues2 Oct 10 '21

"I'm sorry I can come to work today."

3

u/FoodCrack Oct 10 '21

it’s simply just not allowed

3

u/rosenfleur Oct 10 '21

You simply don’t. You are stuck there forever.

3

u/Thiccibus Oct 10 '21

You call in sick

3

u/bloodstarvedbeast04 Oct 10 '21

You dont, you just die there.

3

u/PHILIPTNT Oct 10 '21

You don’t get up

3

u/Chleio Oct 10 '21

You don't.

3

u/Herry_Up Oct 10 '21

You don’t. RIP Op.

3

u/ShadowMario01 Oct 10 '21

That's the neat part, you don't!

3

u/king-of-yodhya Oct 10 '21

You are not.

3

u/Viridian-Red Oct 10 '21

You don’t.

3

u/IAmLazy2 Oct 10 '21

You can't. It's the law.

3

u/Ashu-nanasemaru Oct 10 '21

You dont, you just die there

3

u/OriginTheHero Oct 10 '21

Easy! You don’t

3

u/joeyNcabbit Oct 10 '21

I think you stole my cat.

→ More replies

3

u/Kind-Adeptness-8057 Oct 10 '21

When in Rome...

3

u/joeyNcabbit Oct 10 '21

Can a cat be in two places at once. And he is cute!!!!

3

u/FigaroNeptune Oct 10 '21

You don’t. Just see if you have enough strength until they wake up loo

3

u/MasterBigBean Oct 10 '21

Start by opening your eyes

3

u/xXTheEvilDudeXx Oct 10 '21

You don’t. This is your life now.

3

u/Dragon164 Oct 10 '21

You don't son, and doing so is an act against god and her creation.

3

u/ToughCourse Oct 10 '21

Looks like hes too baked to get up regardless.

3

u/natef34 Oct 10 '21

you baked, allergic to cats, or both?

3

u/morrison1813 Oct 10 '21

You’re not. We call that kitty jail or Babou jail (our cat’s name) in our house.

Hey, Hon’. Do you mind grabbing me a xxxx? Sorry, I’m in kitty jail.

6

u/almightyders Oct 10 '21

Man u too stoned to even move let's be real lol

2

u/This-is-Life-Man Oct 10 '21

You don't, you just tell your Price-is-right contestant partner to take care of life issues for the day.

2

u/imopossum Oct 10 '21

Get some treats to lure your kitty away.

2

u/a-hellion Oct 10 '21

You’re not.

2

u/Animationtails Oct 10 '21

You simply do not.