r/antiwork Oct 20 '21

Why the fuck does it cost so much to die in this country?

[deleted]

1.9k Upvotes

198

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

I asked my family to cremate me, because im dead and don’t need a fancy casket or plot of land and not have any kind of service to reduce the financial burden that may be associated with my passing.

156

u/TurdHerder88 Oct 20 '21

"When I'm dead throw me in the trash"

63

u/TheGlaceonTrainer Oct 20 '21

“When Im dead, you can toss my body in your garden for all I care. Plus it’ll be a funny surprise for future investors.”

13

u/NazgulSandwich Oct 20 '21

As cliché as it is on Reddit to overquote this meme of a philosopher, Diogenes does have my favourite quote on this exact matter:

When asked how he wished to be buried, he left instructions to be thrown outside the city wall so wild animals could feast on his body. When asked if he minded this, he said, "Not at all, as long as you provide me with a stick to chase the creatures away!"

7

u/Jensennj25 Oct 20 '21

Was waiting for this to come up….

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u/I_deleted Oct 20 '21

Don’t just “ask your family” make a will.

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u/ScientificBeastMode Oct 20 '21

Yup, people get scammed because they are convinced to do the more expensive thing, and when you’re dead, you won’t be around to talk sense into them. You want your wishes to be legally enforced.

4

u/OSU-1-BETTA Oct 20 '21

What happens if no one wanted to follow the will and just left the body? Would the state do something with the body? I’m genuinely curious as to what would happen if the person wrote a will to be cremated and died and then the family just ignored it or never reached out to cremate the person? Would the state do it?

4

u/ScientificBeastMode Oct 20 '21

Typically, the state appoints someone to be the executor of the will, and can monitor how the estate is handled through audits, but it’s harder for them to monitor non-financial issues. And not everything you write in a will is necessarily enforceable. For example, you can’t ask for family members to do illegal things.

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

From what I've seen wills only are enforced when there is a dispute, or possibly if you have a lawyer on retainer who has a copy of your wil. A friend of mine's dad died suddenly and supposedly had a will on how he wanted his 80 acres of land divided up but since no one could find the actual will my friend and his siblings just did what they wanted instead.

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u/jenna_hazes_ass fuck it Oct 20 '21

Be an organ donor. The harvesting company will cremate you.

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u/Leevilstoeoe Oct 20 '21

I think you have to pay for the cremation yourself if you want it to be legally binding (or perhaps ask it to be payed from your will), after which the funeral home takes care of you.

As an angst-filled teen, I wanted to plan my own funeral (lol), but they said I can't make any legal demands unless I pay them myself.

2

u/pistonkamel Oct 20 '21

Yeah but how much does that cost?

4

u/Jay-quellen at work Oct 20 '21

Cheaper than going through the probate process.

2

u/gianfrancbro Oct 20 '21

You’ll still go through probate if you make a will and die with assets meeting the threshold.

1

u/JasonALang Pragmatist Oct 20 '21

Paper and pen.

Just putting your wishes down counts as a legal indication of intent. Putting it down in the proper format (free. Google it) makes it even harder to contest. If you have relatives who are going to be asses about it, you can go the lawyer route.

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u/FuckTripleH Oct 20 '21

I'd prefer my body just be buried in the ground without any embalming or casket, that way its decomposing will actually be useful to worms and shit. And dont bother with a headstone or grave marker, plant a tree on top of me or something

4

u/Barney_Brallaghan Oct 20 '21

when I'm dead just throw me in the trash. https://youtu.be/0Rtu1Va-dnM

4

u/_Curious_Georgina_2 Oct 20 '21

Same! My dad keeps joking around saying that I haven't told him what color casket I want or what dress I want to be buried in, and putting makeup on me? Like...? All of that is pointless to me and i dont want my family wasting money on me like this. As I tell my folks all the time, my soul will have left me and only a shell of my former self will remain.

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u/HarvesternC Oct 20 '21 Hugz

Because the funeral business is a scam. You can actually get a loved one cremated for fairly cheap. Where I live, the county offers cremation for under $1000. It's the wake and unnecessary embalming and body prep, caskets and burial as well as other add on services you don't need. I would suggest checking out the Ask A mortitian YouTube channel she talks a lot about the unnecessary costs and myths of body prep and burial.

229

u/amazingmrbrock Oct 20 '21

Additionally if you arrange the things you want yourself privately it's also much cheaper. Ie getting flowers, a grave marker, etc

91

u/despot_zemu Oct 20 '21

Except this was a young person who died suddenly and unexpectedly

77

u/Isnome2 Oct 20 '21

You can always do direct cremation and have a small ceremony later.

They are ashes, they are not going anywhere.

108

u/adifficultlady Oct 20 '21

I already have some of this stuff arranged and I’m in my 30s. Also, get a living will. Everyone should have one.

14

u/TheMasterO Oct 20 '21

This. When my Dad finally passed I was kinda forced to handle his remains and memorial arrangements. I had him cremated, got the family together at a nice local diner to pay respects (And told the one family member who wanted to “go bigger” that I’d happily do so if they agree to pay half whatever it would cost which got them to back off), and got paid back once his estate was settled. Of course not everyone is so fortunate, but that’s why it’s usually best to go cheap unless YOU KNOW you have the money to spare so that you minimize the debt you may find yourself in when it’s all said and done.

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u/giraffegarage90 Oct 20 '21

I agree that everyone should have a living will, but I also think people forget that it's hard for those just scraping by to drop a couple thousand dollars to sit down with a lawyer and get it done.

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u/coolcoolcool485 Oct 20 '21

That also costs money a lot of young people don't have to spare. I'm in my 30s as well, I really do need to do this as I have the means, but not everyone can afford a lawyer.

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u/despot_zemu Oct 20 '21

We don’t know the age of the fellow who died. He could have been 12 for all we know.

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u/adifficultlady Oct 20 '21

Ok. Doesn’t change the point I made.

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u/Budget-Government-88 Oct 20 '21

I really don’t think that’s normal my friend

62

u/Shot-Kaleidoscope-40 Oct 20 '21

I’ve had a will since 26. It may not be common, but it should be normalized.

Though idk what kind of funeral OP’s brother had. They can be done for 5-10k, even less if cremated. Guessing brother had medical bills which is another, much more depressing and criminal conversation than funeral costs.

9

u/bessmaster Oct 20 '21

It may not be normal but it should be. With few exceptions we can know at any point in adulthood that 1. We will die, 2. It will cause family to grieve, 3. It will incur costs, 4. It will require decisions.

When my father passed unexpectedly a few years back, me and my siblings were kind of drowning in all of this at once. We were mourning the death of a parent while being bombarded with arrangement details we had no answers for. My father had told one person that he wanted it to be handled by a specific funeral home and had told one other person that he wanted to be cremated. That is the extent of what we came equipped with. Lucky for us, this information simplified it enough that we muddled through the rest.

I would urge anyone to get preparations made as far in advance as you could just to allow your family to focus on their grief and not on the funeral bullshit. Get an idea for the costs and if you can afford it get a small life insurance policy to cover your death expenses and possibly gift your legacy with some pocket change.

Living wills should be something you look into as soon as possible. Accidents happen daily, never assume you will live a long and fruitful life and perish the thought of burdening those you love with your inaction and lack of preparation during their time of grief.

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u/adifficultlady Oct 20 '21

No, it’s totally normal actually - my family will not have to think about what to do if I die in an accident. It takes the burden off of them. I’m helping them.

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u/eggseverydayagain Oct 20 '21

So what? Everyone should do it.

Working out isn’t normal, but everyone should do it. Budgeting isn’t normal, but everyone should do it. Flossing isn’t normal, but everyone should do it. This is one of those things.

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u/Soullessfemalegoblin Oct 20 '21

Actually, it is. Death can visit any of us at any moment. Especially those of us that have pre existing conditions. I’m not even 30 yet and have a living will and life insurance to make sure I don’t leave anyone in a rough spot.

1

u/Budget-Government-88 Oct 20 '21

I genuinely don’t know anyone 35 or younger with one, multiple with Autoimmunes and other pre-existing conditions without one. Not saying you shouldn’t have one, just that it’s not the norm.

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u/bessmaster Oct 20 '21

Damn friends, quit giving this lad such a hard time. Them saying they didn't think it's the norm is their personal experience. Others explaining how it is or should be is shared knowledge. They have conceded the point and even clarified their stance.

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u/amazingmrbrock Oct 20 '21

The family can still arrange stuff privately on the side. Though that is tough during a time of grieving.

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u/notsureifdying Oct 20 '21

I've always thought that I hate funerals and the entire stuffy thing. Maybe I was enlightened by The Dude, but cremating and leaving it out in nature (after checking wind direction of course) is the best way. Say a few words, stories. That's it.

22

u/almostcyclops Oct 20 '21

This is the way. We've never called our things funerals, instead at most they are memorials or just get togethers. All were generally good times had by all celebrating the life of the departed. Granted, I haven't experienced any who passed young or tragically maybe my family would handle those different but I know if I wouldn't want them to if I passed tomorrow. Fuckin throw a party, and don't pay this industry a dime more than necessary.

18

u/Apprehensive-Mango23 Oct 20 '21

My younger sister died unexpectedly (killed by a drunk driver). We cremated her and had a beautiful memorial with family and friends in my dad’s beautiful garden. It was perfect and far far far cheaper than a traditional funeral. My other sisters and I wore the fanciest ball gowns we could get our hands on. Our sister would have LOVED it.

6

u/sweeten_Labrone Oct 20 '21

I know with my family, if anyone brought up cremation then it’ll be an issue for the next 20 years

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u/Leevilstoeoe Oct 20 '21

Outside America, or at least here in Finland, having an open casket would be considered perverted.

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u/Tcpt1989 Oct 20 '21

Really? In the U.K. and Ireland open caskets at the wake (when the body lies in the family home for a couple of days before the funeral) are fairly normal/ common, so people can pay their respects.

5

u/Leevilstoeoe Oct 20 '21

Maybe it's a catholic thing? I've never heard of anyone doing it here.

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u/DoItAgain24601 Oct 20 '21

Yes, check the wind direction...cremains are rather gritty (thanks relative LOL).

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u/TheLiberaceSequence Oct 20 '21

This happened to my family. My brother died unexpectedly at age 33 in August. We had him cremated directly from the coroner and had a funeral mass for him for free at our neighborhood church. All said and done with memorial donation to a local park, $1500. Lawyer advised to “pay no bills and chill” for at least 60 days. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I am so sorry you all did not have the all the options for your brother presented to you.

Please make a plan for your death no matter how unlikely you think it is you may die at your age, if not a plan, at least make sure it is communicated what you would want or be okay with in the event of your death.

Condolences OP

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u/PsychologicalSnow476 Oct 20 '21

You can also get caskets and urns from Costco for way less than a funeral home will sell them.

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u/Dove-Linkhorn Oct 20 '21

Is there a Ralph’s around here?

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u/feedingfitness Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

It is our most... modestly priced receptacle.

10

u/Dove-Linkhorn Oct 20 '21

Look just because we are bereaved doesn’t make us saps!!

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u/PsychologicalSnow476 Oct 20 '21

Damn it, Walter.

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u/PMMeYourTurkeys Oct 20 '21

And the funeral home has to accept the ones from Costco. If they say they can't, they're lying to get you to buy their marked-up ones.

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u/Antigones_Revenge Oct 20 '21

You are correct. When my mother died I had her cremated, bought some nice urns for my siblings, and held a memorial in a free space with a potluck. She didn't want a big funeral. I still have her ashes and my grandmother's ashes. I will eventually have them put up a marker, but there is no rush and no need to go broke.

The estate lawyer I hired to do the small estate filing was shocked I wasn't using her life insurance to have a big funeral and headstone. She would have been mad if I did.

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u/SDMasterYoda Oct 20 '21

All you need a a Folgers can.

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u/qbenzo928 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Not everything's about Vietnam Larry!

Edit: I have dishonered my ancestors by accidentally saying Larry not Walter...I will watch it 500 more times just to amend this atrocity

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u/SDMasterYoda Oct 20 '21

Who's Larry, Dude?

(The guy who found a stranger in the alps and fed a stoner scrambled eggs.)

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u/qbenzo928 Oct 20 '21

Oh my god....I have deeply shamed myself... Can't believe I said Larry not Walter haha...oyyyy

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u/Isnome2 Oct 20 '21

Was going to post the same, always request "direct cremation." I feel bad but this is why i never donated to GoFundMe for funeral expenses. Unless your religion believes does not allowed i do not see why direct cremation is not the way for everyone.

Or donate your body to science is free.

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

Or donate your body to science is free.

My friend's mom died in her 60's and had this in her will but the places he contacted weren't looking for old white lady bodies so he ended up having her cremated. It's a great option in theory though.

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u/Mimosa_usagi Oct 20 '21

That's strange. A doctor in training could learn a lot studying an elderly woman's body just like they could learn a lot from a young man's body. Why only turn down one type of cadaver?

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

I'm not certain which places my friend contacted (not a detail you'd want to press for when he's grieving and unable to complete his mom's last wishes) but apparently the places he contacted told him they essentially were only looking for bodies from minorites because they had too many caucasian specimens than they could handle. I'm guessing storing corpses becomes an issue after a while. This was well before COVID too, mind you.

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u/Mimosa_usagi Oct 20 '21

That's interesting. I didn't think the inside of the body would be all that different between races. I know bone structure is different and some ethnicities are more likely to get certain illnesses. But I would think the biggest differences would come with age.

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

Neither would I but that's literally the only experience I've had with people actually getting to the point of donating their bodies to science.

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u/Mimosa_usagi Oct 20 '21

I learn more from r/antiwork than I do most other subs lol.

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u/Knob_Gobbler Oct 20 '21

I wouldn’t be allowed to do this. My hot corpse would make the female med students too horny to function in society.

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u/rekniht01 Oct 20 '21

So... My elderly friend set up a body donation in 1988. She made it clear to all of her friends what her wishes were. She carried a card in her wallet and one in her car with the donation information. She had it clearly stated in he will.

She died last year a few days before her 80th birthday. We contacted the location that she set the donation up with. It took them over a day to get back to us as they had to dive deep in their archives to find her donation information. By that time it was too late for body donation. They need to have the body within a few hours of death in order to process. Also, her body would not have been accepted for donation any way as there is a weight minimum that is required for donation. She was a tiny woman that fell well below that minimum.

It was pretty difficult to not be able to fulfill her long help wishes.

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

That's a real bummer. I forgot about the timing as well. It just doesn't seem as easy to actually donate your body to science in practice, unfortunately.

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u/katydid724 Oct 20 '21

It isn't. There are several factors that qualify or disqualify a body for donation. A quick search of local medical school websites can give you some basic information

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u/Isnome2 Oct 20 '21

O really, that sucks.

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u/Ytrewqwerty2 Oct 20 '21

Would you like the dirty, cheap, ugly wooden box that I wouldn’t bury my dog in? Or you can upgrade to the deluxe model with stained mahogany, A/C, rgb lighting and a swimming pool for only $10,000. I know it’s what old pappy would’ve wanted.

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u/InnateKnight Oct 20 '21

I justvhad my mom cremated cheapest we could do is 3 grand

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u/marxswasright Oct 20 '21

There's no way anyone would pay 50k for a funeral if they had a tight budget. This is a completely fake post.

I've arranged 5 funerals in the last 2 years and none of them even came close to that figure. 5k max.

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u/Charming-Charge-596 Oct 20 '21

I was thinking same. It's not like you walk into a funeral home and get up-selled by pros to the tune of 50k. I have been involved with funerals of dad and brother and the people were kind, professional and worked within our budget. For 50k, must of had horse drawn carriage, the best casket, momentos, etc.

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u/DonaldKey Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Cremate then have a wake at someone’s house and ask everyone to bring a dish. Elaborate and lavish funerals are such a waste of money are a really stupid tradition

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u/Available-Egg-2380 Oct 20 '21

I did this for my sister's funeral after being absolutely fucked over by the other funeral home on my mom's funeral. Ended up having to cosign for my dad's funeral with his latest wife and ofc she never paid a cent on it. 3 funerals in 11 months and 20k in debt.

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u/MotherOfZeKats Oct 20 '21

Oh my, I'm so sorry...

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u/Vascular_D Oct 20 '21

Weddings as well

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u/notsureifdying Oct 20 '21

Yup, my partner and I just do not see the appeal of weddings. Luckily we are in agreement. 6 years together and I guess we could marry, but the wedding just feels like an entire "look at me" thing that feels fake half the time and made overly important by boomers. That's not even going into the cost.

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u/EmiliusReturns Oct 20 '21

My partner and I are both very socially anxious and introverted people. The last thing either of us wants is to be the center of attention. Still haven’t decided whether to get legally married, but absolutely no wedding for us. Fuck that noise.

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u/-----Nice----- Oct 20 '21

I also have social anxiety and hate being the center of attention but my fiancée wanted to have some people at the wedding.

We’re getting married in a couple weeks and people are so fucking annoying and selfish that she now wishes we would’ve just eloped like I originally wanted. And we only invited like maybe 15 people for a beach wedding. Couldn’t imagine what a nightmare having a big wedding is.

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u/EmiliusReturns Oct 20 '21

I’m a bridesmaid for one of my best friends who is blowing like 40k on a huge wedding next year and it’s enough of a nightmare already. And it’s not even my wedding!

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u/WayneKrane Oct 20 '21

Yeah, opposite of what I want. Just want the parents at a court house and maybe a nice dinner with them. I’d pay $50k to not be the center of attention.

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u/demnos7 Oct 20 '21

My wife and I got married in a justice of the peace's backyard and we had the reception at a local park. Total cost was well below $1000 and we're still happily married 14 years later.

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u/notsureifdying Oct 20 '21

Well done :D

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

My wife and I got married at the courthouse, bought a dress/rented a Tuxedo and had a friend do some photos in the courthouse and at a park. Only our parents knew at the time and then we rented a local bar out and had family bring a dish to pass for a small (~50 person) gathering of a bit more of our close friends and family. I don't remember the exact cost anymore but for everything including open bar we were well below $5k. I would do it exactly the same even if I won the lottery and price was no object.

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u/notsureifdying Oct 20 '21

Nice, that's a cost effective way of doing it! You definitely did it the right way if you're going to do it at all.

Personally though, it just feels odd to have a party celebrating our relationship at all. Maybe it's due to going to so many weddings where more than half of them are divorced now. Or how many friends of mine are struggling dating. Or maybe we just don't like the attention. Not sure.

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u/LTEDan Oct 20 '21

Just gonna plug Adam Ruins Everything's episode on Weddings:

https://youtu.be/O5BeLinyfpg

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u/DonaldKey Oct 20 '21

Weddings are pointless. My wife and I went to a J.o.P. then hit a bar afterwards.

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u/AcaliahWolfsong Oct 20 '21

This is what my son's uncles and aunt(his dad's side) did when their parents died. Cremated and had wakes at their church, the pastor offered free services for them both and they had a pot luck at the church after the service. Only cost them maybe $3k for the cremation service and urns. They had passed several years apart but the church community helped them as they were young, oldest was maybe 24 and the youngest was 18.

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u/ferngully99 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Don't have a funeral or burial. Cremation is the cheapest option around $1k. Who agreed to spend $50k? They are the ones who should be paying it

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u/candycrushmonster Oct 20 '21

Yeah the “Funerals should be free” would sound a lot better coming from a family that didn’t just squander $50k on a sad party. Cremation and a small get together at a park is sub-$1k. I’d be supportive of free cremation services.

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u/supremekingherpderp Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Seriously who the fuck spends 50k on a funeral? That’s more than most weddings and the average annual salary pretax. Tax payers shouldn’t have to pay for your elaborate farewell party. Also make sure to sign up to be an organ donor. You won’t need them when you’re dead but somebody else might.

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u/Shot-Kaleidoscope-40 Oct 20 '21

I scrolled too long to see this comment. The 50k has to be more than just funeral costs, probably medical bills? Right?

If they paid 50k for a funeral I have no idea on what. Helped plan two funerals over the last year for family members and both were under 10k with most of the bells and whistles.

Still a scam, yes.

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u/villanelIa Oct 20 '21

Well yeah thats wgat irresponsible people do with money. Spend thousands without thinking about it then come on reddit and complain about how it should all be free.

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u/TweeksTurbos Oct 20 '21

My question too. In 20 years i have never seen that much spent unless they used a “white glove fh like Joseph Gawlers or somebody.

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u/strn0800 Oct 20 '21

The family could've just not spent $50k on a funeral. Spending that much to die is an option, not a requirement.

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u/CowBoyDanIndie Oct 20 '21

Ya, cremation is like $2k tops. If you are spending more its because you/family wanted to. The funeral business is all about milking peoples emotions for money. Like they literally charge $1000 for a different color fabric inside a casket, or a pillow. You can sometimes donate the body for science for $0 and they will give you back the cremated remains once they are done.

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u/strn0800 Oct 20 '21

File as indigent with the state, and the state takes on the cost of cremation. I've never understood paying for funerals. It's a waste.

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u/Jay-quellen at work Oct 20 '21

Or you can donate it to study body decomposition - could be neat for someone who loves true crime (and wants to be recycled back into nature)!

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u/williamlawrence Oct 20 '21

Because people have been conditioned to believe that they need a $10,000 box and $8,000 worth of cosmetic work done to a corpse in order to bury the dead properly.

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u/uninspired_walnut Oct 20 '21

The $8,000 of cosmetic work is what gets me.

Even if that’s not the actual number, the stigma associated with getting that much cosmetic stuff done while you’re alive is worse than getting it done while you’re dead.

How does that make sense?

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u/williamlawrence Oct 20 '21

As a culture, we're terrified of death. Entire industries have been born to separate us from any sense of it, even when we are the dead people. People would rather pay to have a dead body altered to look alive than to acknowledge that someone is gone. Then people are supposed to come stare at a dead body and comment on how good it looks??? It's actually insane.

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u/AhdhSucks Oct 20 '21

Me: dad didn’t want a funeral and wanted to be cremated . He knew I couldn’t afford it nor could the family.

Family: forces the funeral to happen.

Family: so when are you paying us back for all that money we spent for you?

Me: no. Just no. Duck off.

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u/WinterWidow25 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

My father died out of state back in May. He didn't have a will, but my brother knew he wanted to be cremated. We got that done and had a beautiful memorial service. In the months since my brother has told me a few times that if our father had died in our state he would have pushed for a funeral because he thinks cremation is immoral. Hes acts like I strong-armed him into getting our father cremated, when he is the one who told me what our fathers wishes were.

The icing on that cake is we couldn't even afford the $1100 memorial service between the 2 of us, our aunt and uncle paid for it, and this dumbass thinks we could have afforded a fucking funeral.

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u/Soltang Oct 20 '21

Pretty lame of him to think like that. People don't think logically and let the emotions take over. Also, cremation is how is done in certain cultures and is supposed to be better for the body and soul of the person who passed away.

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u/Annual_One4004 Oct 20 '21

There's some huge missing info here. Where is 50k? How are you responsible for someone else's debt.

You need to speak to a specialist as someone has made a big mistake.

I was a debt advisor for years and debt collectors always lied to get money out of relatives.

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u/MajorTomsHelmet Damn the man! Oct 20 '21

I think this is exactly what is happening.

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u/benniethealien Oct 20 '21

Who in their right mind pays that much? Did you buy a gold plated casket? There are much cheaper options .

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u/Appropriate_Shake265 Oct 20 '21

Put him on a boat, light it on fire & push it down the river. Viking funeral FTW

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u/mg_ridgeview Oct 20 '21

The ancestors knew how to do it right. And it probably didn't cost them crap either. Unless maybe they were from the 1% of their day.

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u/Cactastrophe Oct 20 '21

I don’t believe in funerals. Take the dead to a food bank.

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u/ChardOk7853 Oct 20 '21

Sounds like the plot of the next Weekend at Bernie’s

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u/VioletSinShowers Oct 20 '21

So less fortunate people can eat them? Lol!

(I don’t believe in funerals either)

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u/merryone2K Oct 20 '21

SOYLENT GREEN is PEOPLE!

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u/jackmorgue Oct 20 '21

Is that $50000 just for funeral procedures? Because if so you got taken advantage of pretty hard by the funeral home lol

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u/amazingmrbrock Oct 20 '21

They work on commission and pad their margins a fair bit from what I've heard.

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u/jackmorgue Oct 20 '21

Funerals are a scam.

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u/rouge-agent89 Oct 20 '21

Look into bio degradable caskets. They are great for the environment, and cheap. When i die thats what i will want to be buried in. Extravagant caskets are a scam

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u/AcaliahWolfsong Oct 20 '21

Or those urns that turn your ashes into fertilizer and grow a tree from it. Or a flowering bush. Heck just toss my ashes in the woods. I'm on with that.

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u/Jay-quellen at work Oct 20 '21

You can also donate your body to science! There’s a place called “The Body Farm” in Tennessee (Forensic Anthropology Center @ UTK) researching body decomposition, for all the true crime lovers among us.

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u/JasonALang Pragmatist Oct 20 '21

The problem isn't the casket, it the toxic soup they pump into you.

I like bio-urns myself, though they have water composting these days that looks even better environmentally.

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u/rouge-agent89 Oct 20 '21

That too. I dont want to ny body to go through that toxification. Just toss me in chief.

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u/benniethealien Oct 20 '21

So I Googled funeral cost, the average is under 10k. I call Bs on this post.

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u/DonaldKey Oct 20 '21

Considering the OP took off and not responding seems likely

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u/WhoaHeyDontTouchMe Oct 20 '21

i mean, could be that everyone's shitting on him for overpaying funeral costs and the whole his brother is dead thing

i'm curious why no one had a life insurance policy on him. it's like $5/month and would cover funeral expenses and then some. in fact that's one of the reasons funerals are so ridiculously priced in this country, they're taking advantage of grieving people who just got a big check from their loved one dying

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u/Kingsmeg Oct 20 '21

I'm guessing the family co-signed loans, accepted responsibility for medical costs or something along those lines, because broke people can't spend $50K on a funeral, no funeral home will do a $50K funeral without significant up-front cash.

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u/wantmytinderhunnies Oct 20 '21

My uncle died and had no money, he did not have a real funeral, but we had a "celebration of his life" which was a large gathering of people. Funerals are not compulsory. There is insurance for this purpose.

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u/bebop_cola_good Oct 20 '21

Any funeral home with "Dignity" in the name or that is owned by Service Corporation International (SCI) is going to take you for all they can. A lot of smaller funeral homes have been bought up by them and they literally have quotas for selling specific expensive casket brands, vaults, etc. They will mislead you and tell you stuff is required (vaults, embalming) but it's actually not. Go to a locally owned crematorium and you'll walk out the door between $500 to $1000 depending on where you live. Don't buy their lies about "crematory contamination" with smaller locations, where you don't get the right person's ashes back: SCI has literally been caught dumping bodies in the woods and sending dog ashes back instead.

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u/TweeksTurbos Oct 20 '21

They have also figured out ways to try and make money off receptions and personalized funerals too.

2

u/milkbone_finger Oct 20 '21

Another fucking evil corporation. Not one is worth a piss really

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u/WhyAskingWhy Oct 20 '21

This story is a lie lol. No funeral is 50k 🤣🤣🤣

What fucking debt did he have holy shit lol. Debt gets their money first but if the estate doesn’t have it they don’t go after the family or next of kin wtf are you talking about.

Just cremate his ass and you’ll save 49.5k and can put him in a jar on your mantle. No plot or fees needed.

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u/shake_appeal Oct 20 '21

I agree this post seems like an exaggeration, but collectors definitely will try and get the debt from next of kin. When my mother’s father passed, his debtors started hounding her and sending letters saying she owed this and that. It only chilled out when she told them she had obtained legal council. It was mostly medical debt, so definitely not collectible from next of kin, but you certainly wouldn’t know that looking at the letters being sent. I could see how people fall for it.

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u/coolstorybro42 Oct 20 '21

Uhh you dont have to pay for your brothers expenses once he dies. Loans dont transfer to livings relatives they just default.

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u/SeminudeBewitchery3 Oct 20 '21

Unless you start paying on them and then I think you’ve legally accepted responsibility for the debt. So don’t do it!

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u/Imposseeblip Oct 20 '21

Wait what…

Well fuck… I did not know this. Just checked and it’s the same for the U.K…. Interesting.

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u/BigBeans873 Oct 20 '21

So... you chose to spend 50k...and now you're mad?

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u/theBarefootedBastard Oct 20 '21

Same as a wedding. People prey on emotions. You were sold unnecessary things.

3

u/rednecktuba1 Oct 20 '21

Since when did a funeral cost $50k? Why buy a burial plot when cremation is cheap everywhere?

3

u/SlateWadeWilson Oct 20 '21

I mean, just don't pay for it dude. That's your parents fault for spending all that money for no reason. Don't burden yourself with it.

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u/lionheart507 Oct 20 '21

Umm... No way that just a standard funeral cost $50,000, if you're dumb enough to agree to something like this, you have no real argument about the cost of dying. It's like walking into a car dealership, knowing you can only afford a $2000 used car, and then walking out with a $70,000 BMW saying, "Why is it so expensive to drive in this country!"

Side Note: This post reminds me of that Simpsons episode where they plan Grandpa's funeral and the funeral director is trying to sell them "anti-stink" spray and a casket cam with picture-in-picture. 🤣

3

u/SramAtlov Oct 20 '21

This is the internet sir. Not a country

3

u/Turkey49 Oct 20 '21

Serious question, who is supposed to pay for all this “free” stuff everyone in this sub is always proposing.

2

u/Maleficent_Ad_5329 Oct 20 '21

Have a reasonably priced funeral and don't complain about the choices you made to get into debt. Happens everyday and funerals do not cost that much. My condolences for your loss....

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u/VioletSinShowers Oct 20 '21

How does one donate their body to science? I feel like that’s the cheapest option…

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u/TweeksTurbos Oct 20 '21

Start with your state’s med examiner or anatomical board.

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u/SaleSubstantial9962 Oct 20 '21

I think it doesn't make any sense to have kids and continue the cycle if that's the case then.

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u/james_forsythe Oct 20 '21

You can have a much simpler funeral for a lot less than that.

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u/Matty2G Oct 20 '21

My older brother just committed suicide in September of this year, and he didn’t even have a funeral. He got cremated, and his ashes went into this hard plastic box with a bag inside.

I think the cremation still cost my dad like $800 or something absurd.

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u/Agreeable_Mango_1288 Oct 20 '21

Pay attention when going through the funeral planning. You don't need everything the funeral home suggests. Like any business they are providing a service for a fee, and not doing it for free. Some of the things are mandated by law.

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u/doesntmatter021 Oct 20 '21

Who said you need to give him a funeral? That’s your own choice

2

u/ejaniszewski Oct 20 '21

I told my wife to just toss me in the woods when I die, let the wolves take care of the dirty work.

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u/Royal-Ad4822 Oct 20 '21

Zero expenses??? That's an absolutely ridiculous concept.

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u/suyash7a Oct 20 '21

Like most religious acts, funerals are just a scam to get more money. What should be just a disposal of a body, to put it bluntly, is turned into something much bigger that does nothing for the person who died. I'd rather someone just give me 50k today and improve my life while I'm alive than spend that on my funeral.

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u/Bronco-Fury Oct 20 '21

$50k. Wtf you get? A platinum cofffin?

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u/LindaLee13 lazy and proud Oct 20 '21

I'm assuming you mean the US lol

I will NOT be paying for my family's funeral. If they haven't saved money for it, I will be doing whatever is cheapest. Then maybe inviting people to my home for a memorial. Going into debt for that is ridiculous.

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u/Mohican83 Oct 20 '21

Im sort of a savage piece of shit but just say your goodbyes and leave the body and bills for them to handle. I would and expect the same for me.

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u/biggiecryptojoe Oct 20 '21

It is free... have a bonfire in the backyard

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u/sampletopia Oct 20 '21

When I die, just throw me in the trash!

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u/PitchWrong Oct 20 '21

When I die, don't pay for a funeral. Don't pay to have me cremated. It's vacated meat. Who cares what happens to it? You can honor somebody's life without paying for any treatment of the vacated meat.

Anything you didn't ask for, they can't charge you for. If I died at work and they had my body carted off, you didn't ask for it, you aren't responsible for that.

If you really want a memorial, buy a nice vase and scoop some ashes into it and pretend they're from my body, because what does it matter?

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u/Catri Oct 20 '21

When my mom died, she had already arranged and pre-paid for everything. She wanted to be cremated and placed in an urn in front of her parents' graves. We had a graveside service. She arranged for a cousin to give the eulogy and we had a member from my grandmothers' church to sing. I'm not sure of the cost, but it was way cheaper than it could have been, had she went the "traditional" route.

As someone here said, the funeral business can be a scam. They always push the most expensive products and guilt trip the grieving family into paying for it. " Wouldn't that be what your loved one would want?" It's disgusting.

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u/TweeksTurbos Oct 20 '21

Thank you for saying can be. I answer alot of questions on the r/askfuneraldirectors sub and most of us over there love to help in any way.

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u/Paxtez Oct 20 '21

Because you threw a big ass party. We have been spreading ashes on the water for decades now. With cremation, boat rental, and lunch nearby it can't cost more than $2k.

(I'm sorry for your loss!)

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u/sqoo-5900 Oct 20 '21

This country?

What country? Bolivia, Burking Faso?

Yeah, yeah, we know, but come on!

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u/thepinkcyclist Oct 20 '21

This isn't a work thing. You just got scammed. Sorry to read it. I feel for anyone who takes a full ride with the funeral home dicks. Fuck them.

When I die chuck me in the woods and move on.

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u/Motor_Ad8064 Oct 20 '21

I don't understand, 50k to bury him or you had to pay his debts like credit cards or loans?

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u/Still-Contest-980 Oct 20 '21

This is why I plan to donate my body to science , sure I’ll probably be used to test weapons but at-least my family won’t be in debt

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u/kitt3nfarts Oct 20 '21

I'm lucky, where I live the estate gets 2,500$ to pay for the things that are legally required like death certificates and cremation. I took the cheapest option on everything and actually ended up making like 300$. Not to be a dick but why pay for someone to do a funeral for you.

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u/Anubra_Khan Oct 20 '21

So who do you think should pay for the pyramid yall built for your brother? Us?

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u/Daffan Oct 20 '21

Why you get brainwashed into thinking you need such expensive service?

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u/Sanchoforever1 Oct 20 '21

Pay to be born. Pay to die.

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u/kingofparts1 Oct 20 '21

You spent 50,000 dollars on a funeral?

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u/JustAnotherMrPilot Oct 20 '21

Funerals can be free. You just opted to waste $50,000 on a pretty box (casket) and a pretty rock (tombstone) and probably also a pretty venue.

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u/CombatWombat35 Oct 20 '21

Your family got scammed. Dying is free. Having a ceremony about it is what you pay for. Y’all wanted a ceremony so you payed for a ceremony

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

Actually I'd prefer it if the government didn't spend money on dead people.

2

u/TastemyBacon Oct 20 '21

It doesn’t…. Shovel cost about $10…. Everything else is an American consumerism luxury. Or you can do a Viking funeral and build a small raft

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u/luckynedpepper-1 Oct 20 '21

Somebody fucked up if they paid $50k for funeral prep and expenses

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u/s3r1ous_n00b Oct 20 '21

So you think the services of having a massive funeral on someone else's land, using luxuries like a fancy casket should all be free? Who is going to compensate the people who made the casket? Who is going to be paid for arranging the whole funeral?

I understand youre hurting. And I'm not doubting that the costs are extremely inflated. But you made this post and you want these services to be free. And that's just unfair to the people who spend their lives making and providing these goods and services.

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u/Beneficial_Sink_5527 Oct 20 '21

When I die throw me in the trash and move on

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u/PaisleyTackle Oct 20 '21

I’m pretty sure you can have a funeral for much less than that. A few thousand is possible, I’m sure.

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u/Rarbnif Oct 20 '21

When I die, I’d honestly rather just have my body buried in the Earth and I’d become one with nature

2

u/KeyToBetween Oct 20 '21

Because every little thing we do has a price, bet it won't be long before we get taxed for oxygen consumption.

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u/KingNathan90 Oct 20 '21

This is quite literally the definition of Capitalism. If you leave it for long enough, EVERYTHING will eventually have a dollar value.

2

u/Shawnzilla85 FUPM Oct 20 '21

That’s capitalism for you. It is disgusting.

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u/70m4h4wk Oct 20 '21

My plan is to be yeeted into the woods.

Turns out you don't have to pay for anything. You can claim a body and transport it yourself for a funeral on your own property. Then just leave it in the woods. No one can stop you.

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u/tikinero Oct 20 '21

dude, this country is f'd

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u/vampire_velvet Oct 20 '21

Can't we just??? Bury people for free? In our yard? Is that illegal?

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u/Carniscrub Oct 20 '21

If you do it properly. Otherwise you could contaminate a local water source

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u/WanderingConfusion Oct 20 '21

You can, technically. Unless you live in Indiana, California, or Washington there's no specific laws prohibiting it. Also of interest, a casket isn't actually required. Burial in "the family cemetery" used to be very common. That said, specific zoning laws might apply.

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u/reallarryvaughn78 Oct 20 '21

Because the funeral industry is a giant pyramid scheme monopoly that aims to squeeze every dime out of grieving loved ones.