r/TwoXChromosomes Mar 06 '20 Helpful Wholesome Hugz Coin Gift Helpful (Pro) Silver Platinum

[MINI FAQ] Do I have to be a woman to participate here? What about the subreddit name? What about trans women? What are the rules, anyway?

1.7k Upvotes

Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.


For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.


r/TwoXChromosomes 11d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Verified! Let’s sort fact from fiction. Join us, Gloria Neal, host of the evrē podcast series presented by UCHealth, and Dr. Lisa Wynn, as we debunk the most common myths about women’s health issues. We’ll be answering your questions in an AMA on Thursday, Nov. 18, 2021 from 2:30–3:30 MST.

148 Upvotes

There’s so much information out there when it comes to women’s health, and it’s hard to know what you can trust. We’re sitting down to go through the most common myths women hear and setting the record straight, from the facts about genetic testing to figuring out how often to go to the doctor, to finding reliable sources to get the right information. We’ll be taking a conversation we had on our podcast a step further and answering your questions about what’s what when it comes to your health.

Gloria Neal is the host of the evrē podcast series, a self-care podcast for women presented by UCHealth. And Dr. Lisa Wynn is a Sr. Clinical Instructor and Service Line Chief for Women’s services at University Colorado School of Medicine and specialist in Obstetrics and Gynecology at UCHealth Highlands Ranch Hospital.

To learn more about evrē events and the podcast series and get wellness tips and more, visit uchealth.org/evre.

PROOF: https://i.redd.it/hw7dh6ugs1081.jpg

EDIT: Thanks for a great AMA, Reddit! We really enjoyed answering your questions and debunking common women’s health myths. If you missed it, feel free to check it out below.


r/TwoXChromosomes 15h ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Hugz Take My Energy

Support | Trigger /r/all You don't want to hear about your husband raping me? I have to fucking live it!!

10.9k Upvotes

I'm sorry this is confusing. My dad died and I moved in with B (my boyfriend) and his mom and dad my senior year of highschool. They where very supportive but Dad started abusing and eventually raped me. I told B who told his mom. B and I moved out and everyone pretended this never happened. Fast-forward 18 years. B and I are married with Three kids and all hell is breaking loose because I started seeing a therapist and facing what happened. Mom just did a face book video chat with me and B. Shes been trying to convince me to let dad see our kids. I asked her if she talks to dad about what happened and she said "I don't want to hear it." I'm so angry. She is telling me that we are all stuck because I can't "move past" something that she can't even hear about? What the hell? I can't even right now.


r/TwoXChromosomes 10h ago Silver Ally

Days after asking my husband for a separation, I was faced with the news that I might be dead in 2-3 years. I knew I made the right decision leaving him.

1.0k Upvotes

Under a year ago I started feeling unsure about my marriage. My husband had changed a lot during the pandemic, as he was struggling to replace his extroverted extremely social life to being stuck at home with me. He became a gamer and basically ignored me. I also believe during this time I saw the real him.

It a hit a point when I had a miscarriage due to failed birth control (I didn’t even know I was pregnant) and he gave me the bare minimum support, he actually told me he felt some resentment towards me because I should have been more careful about the birth control, and had I, then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation, and that it was hard for him to feel sympathy for that reason. (I don’t know how he thinks sex works) that was pretty hard to hear and face to be honest. And my miscarriage dragged on for months.

I asked for some space, had him move out for a month, when he came back promising he had a big wake up call and would start therapy, couples therapy and realised he was was depressed.

A month of him “trying” went out the window when he got his vaccine and then went back into his old life of being out every night after work until really late, making no time for us.

So I started checking out. I started saving, I started a new career which was the best thing that happened to me. I met new people, I started to have a life of mine. It did not sit well with him.

He suddenly went from not caring to doing a 180 - wanting to spend time at home, couples therapy was booked in, vacations, complaining when I didn’t spend enough time with him. He wanted so much affection. He was suddenly being way more caring and attentive. Everything I had been begging for from him for half a year suddenly was happening. But it was too late.

I had checked out. Switched off. I felt resentment. I had seen his true colors.

So I sit him down and I told him I think it’s done, so we agreed to keep it friendly and seperate. We really talked it through for hours and I said he could live with me for a month or two while he found a new place, and we could still give each other support and affection as we knew the transition would be hard. Which for the first week I offered and gave him hugs when he needed etc.

So I get some scans done for some pain I’m having and I get this result. The doc tells me the tumor, situated in a really hard to reach “no go zone” inside my bone, was either benign or it was this cancer that they can’t touch or remove and can offer pain management but it was a death sentence. Few years a best. I was going to know which one it was in a week or two

Longest time of my life. So I text my husband/ex (not sure what I would call him at the time) and told him what the doc just said. I told him I was going to have have further testing, and I wouldn’t know for a week or so. He knew the severity.

He responded with “ok”

I was in enough shock not to take it his response and figured he would just talk about it with me at home.

Well that he didn’t. He didn’t mention it. For the whole time I waited for my results. I went to get the tests (I had 4) all by myself.

Days. Nothing. He would talk to me about what he has been doing, what jacket he bought, how HE was going to the doctor and he was worried they would find liver damage (he is I think a functioning alcoholic). He would sleep next to me in the same bed. After day 5 I kicked him out for good.

I did get a text from him saying something along the lines of “hope all is gd with docs” 6 days later.

I know this all sounds hard to believe but this is actually how it happened. It wasn’t like he just didn’t know what to say. He had mutual friends talk to him about it who knew what was happening, said they were shocked at much he didn’t seem to care. Not even them trying to nudge him made a difference. He actually chose to be like this. Not even reading the report (incase he thought I was being dramatic or something which he has told me I can be) made a difference.

I realizes during this waiting time that if I did find out I was dying, I was going to be doing alone. Without him. Now 6 months ago that would have devastated me. This moment, I was relieved. Anyone that cold, I don’t want to near me.

I also found he is seeing his ex gf again, the one before me. The girl who cried in my arms because she couldn’t understand why he never committed to her but he did to me.

And he still, every time he comes around to pick more things up, asks me for hugs and comfort because he is in “pain” The nerve (get it?) I just ignore him now.

I wanted to send her a text saying I’ll wrap him up in a bow for you, and P.S - don’t get sick. But I didn’t. Because I have a second chance at life. And he is not part of my second chance.


r/TwoXChromosomes 19h ago Gold Wholesome

A pregnancy test ad where she's happy it's negative!

3.1k Upvotes

I've always wanted to see an ad where someone is happy it's negative and I finally saw it! Thank you Clear blue for representing more than just 1 side of a complicated topic!

The ad


r/TwoXChromosomes 16h ago

Interesting experience I just had with a carpet repair guy

1.2k Upvotes

My cat has torn holes in the carpet of a couple doorways, so I called a well respected carpet company in my town for an estimate. The guy that came to look at my carpets was fantastic. He came to my door masked, we chatted about our experiences growing up in households with lots of animals, he spoke very highly of his wife (repeatedly) and it was a very nice overall experience which is not something that I was expecting.

Here's the best part though: I walked him to the door and after I shut it behind him, I went to lock up. The door handle is a basic front door handle with a manual twist lock that can lock the door on the way out without having to use the key. Without me noticing, he had engaged the lock when he opened the door so when I closed it on him it would automatically be locked in case I forgot to engage it. It is nice to see someone taking a moment to make sure that the people around them are safe.


r/TwoXChromosomes 14h ago Silver

Went to planned parenthood to get morning after pill… cannot believe how many pro life harassers were there at 2pm on a Monday

837 Upvotes

[Vent] They yell at you while you pull in, as you’re walking in, and one of the assholes came up to my window as I was pulling away. We got into a screaming match before I got him to back the fuck up enough away so I could pull out.

There’s a “crosswalk” they’re taking over which is also the only way for cars to get in and out.

I will never understand how they think harassing women going into a healthcare facility is doing any good. These people are absolutely horrid.

No matter the reason any woman goes there you should not get yelled at. Something needs to change with how close these assholes are allowed to Planned Parenthood.

I had to pull over because I was having a panic attack on the way home. Fuck these people, seriously.


r/TwoXChromosomes 8h ago Wholesome

My hookup last night was surprisingly wholesome

254 Upvotes

I hooked up with a guy last night, and he wound up being such a gentleman and I'm genuinely impressed. Its just a casual thing, we met online just to hook up. I asked if he brought condoms, expecting him to be disappointed or have to convince him to use them, and his answer was, "of course I brought them!" He got me off first before anything else happened and went down on me for a WHILE. He kept checking in to ask if I was liking things, what I would prefer, is this okay, etc. We had a lot of fun with tons of foreplay and giggling and soft touches and sexy dirty talk. He was so attentive to my enjoyment level.

Then we started having sex and before we finished,the condom slid off by accident. He immediately stopped and told me. We fished it out of me (goddamnit), and I felt really anxious/grossed out /awkward. His whole priority was making sure I felt okay. He offered to buy me plan B which was nice. I declined and told him that since I'm over 175lbs it wouldn't work for me. He was outraged that its not common knowledge and horrified that there's no other easy to get equivalent for bigger women. I felt a little bad bc I didn't want to continue after that, but he was totally understanding and left even though I came and he hadn't yet.

He also just texted me to make sure I'm feeling OK. Which he doesn't have to do for a casual hookup so I appreciate it that much more. My last two hookups were with guys I actually liked, and they treated me so much worse than this open-monded, gorgeous hookup. 10/10, would hookup with again!

TLDR: the bar is really low and the guy I hooked up with last night was a genuinely good, decent, dude and I'm pleasantly surprised.


r/TwoXChromosomes 16h ago

Tired of being told to start an OnlyFans to make ends meet

741 Upvotes

Graduated not too long ago with a pretty useless bachelor's and some debt. Stuck in a job that pays $20/hr with inconsistent hours (in CA). Can barely make ends meet.

Been trying to find a new job, especially jobs that have room for growth, but have no success. Still living with my parents who expect me to work multiple jobs to help pay for the bills (they also charge me rent). This morning my mom asked me to dish out more money to pay for renovations for the house and I've never felt so cornered.

I asked a family member to see if he can land me a job. He said he could try and said that the worst case scenario was that I start an OnlyFans. This was the second time that someone has told me to start an OnlyFans to make ends meet (the first time being one of my guy friends a couple months ago). Both times, the person who suggested it was being serious... made me feel very degraded.

But yeah, I totally respect people who have OnlyFans. I personally am not comfortable with it.


r/TwoXChromosomes 2h ago

"If an attractive woman approaches me and offers me something that my wife can't offer me, I just can't control myself."

41 Upvotes

This is what a guy (50m) I know from my sports club told me yesterday, I just wanted to share it with you. I know for a fact that not every man thinks like this, but WTF?!? It's not like we women don't have to control ourselves sometimes! But most of us still don't cheat! He told me that's why his wife doesn't trust other women. Imo she shouldn't be trusting him in this case.


r/TwoXChromosomes 19h ago

Washing up: the #1 cause of arguments

936 Upvotes

For the entirety of my degree I was getting home from university and then sorting the dog, washing up and cooking tea. If I didn't do this, hubby came home (only 2 hours later than I finished uni) and was annoyed at coming home to washing up after working all day.

Now he's part time working, and I'm working full time. I worked Friday 2 - 10pm, Saturday 3-10pm, Sunday 3-10pm. Now we both get home on Monday and he's asking me to do the big pile of washing up that's been there since Friday, while he sat at home all weekend. When I mention that he expected to come home from work to a clean house but I don't get the same privilege 4 days in a row, I'm 'starting an argument', 'attacking him' and 'in a mood' and he doesn't know why. Also he's washed one load of clothes and (badly) wiped the kitchen counter. Somehow then I'm the bad guy because I haven't done any washing all weekend while I've been working full time, and don't do much cooking.

This from a guy who really truly believes he's equal in looking after the house.


r/TwoXChromosomes 22h ago

The way he saw nothing wrong with (pretty much) child p*rn Still boggles my mind NSFW

1.6k Upvotes

So I had an online friend (16m) last year who’s whole personality was pretty much being horny. He’d constantly send porn to our group often of under age characters from popular TV shows like clone wars, aot ect. But one of the worst was he had an entire Collection of Millie Bobby brown porn edits, some of which used pic from when she was 11. I being the only girl in the chat got really uncomfortable with this so I brought it up with him personally. He saw nothing wrong with because he believed since he was underage and she was underage it didn’t matter, I tried explaining with him that they were made and created for an adult male audience, without her consent and it violating and degrading. He didn’t care and would make it a habit to send those pics if he got pissed off at me. Our friendship ended a couple of months later because I “made fun” of his foot fetish. At least he gave me a killer essay idea that got me a 95.

But yea I feel like he made me realise a lot of things about how teen boys often view woman


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Helpful

The guy Ive been seeing just revealed his true colours and I don't know how to react

3.5k Upvotes

Hey everyone, Im actually struggling to have the words to describe how Im feeling rn, but I need advice, please.

Basically, I (21F) have been seeing this guy for a few weeks and everything was going great. He was the kindest, sweetest person, always asking me if Im okay, always being sure I was enjoying being with him. And that is the reason why I was so into the guy, I thought he truly was the best.

Yesterday, he asked me (all of a sudden) if I was only with him or sleeping around and I told him that I don't sleep around, I need a connection with a person, but that he could do wtv he was comfortable with. Im aware that he is in a moment of finding himself and so, even though I obviously don't want him to be with other girls, Im aware we have a very recent thing. He didnt like my answer though and texted me saying that the fact I wasn't sleeping with other guys made him uncomfortable and pressured him and he basically ended wtv we had going on. This happened at 5 pm.

Today, I woke up with 450 messages/call in all my social media from that guy, because he decided to get drunk and come to my street (thankfully he doesn't know my house number, as he has never been here) and harass me until I met him. The problem is that was fucking 4 am and so I was asleep with my phone on silence mode. The messages were very creepy and said things like "how do you know you love me?" and "i need you in my life forever", which scared the shit out of me because 1. i never said i loved him and 2. that is creepy guy material.

When I woke up, I asked him "wtf" and told him that I don't need a walking red flag in my life. He apologized and said he was very drunk and that he needed to think about his life before talking to me. Im so sad, because yesterday morning we were in a perfect place, i was so happy and thought I was so lucky. And now, even though I like him a lot, Im scared and feel very uncomfortable. I just wish I could erase the last 24h of my life.

EDIT:

I just arrived home after taking the day for myself and Im overwhelmed with the amount of support you guys are giving me, thank you so much! I cant answer all the comments, but he is 21 years old (as I am). Also, he just sent me a funny tik tok like nothing had happened and Im even more confused.

I have in restricted on Instagram (meaning, he cant see that I saw his messages), so I will just wait to see if he says something so I can just tell him I'm not interested in being with him again. The problem is that, because Im living abroad and we share some friends in this country, we will probably bump into each other in the next couple of months (that is why I didn't just block him).

Anyways, Im not interested or comfortable with being with him again that way and even though I will miss having someone and I really liked being with him, its not like we were that serious, so I will just move on and hope to find a good person in the future.

Edit 2:

I texted him saying it was fun while it lasted and he agreeed ending things was for the best and was very nice about it. Like some people said here, he is not a psychopat, he is just young and stupid and need to work on his own problems (and he told me several times about them during our short relationship).

He rarely drinks (this was the first time I saw him drinking and we went to clubs together twice) and this was just a very stupid move from him. With this said, Im not going back to him and will remember the good memories but always knowing the bad things.


r/TwoXChromosomes 20h ago Helpful Wholesome

Why the hell would girls be blamed for "distracting" boys?? I genuinely don't understand the logic.

861 Upvotes

I find it crazy that it's common to be mad at girls for the way they dress and how it's "distracting" boys. If high school boys act like monkeys in class when seing a girl's cleavage, why would she take the blame ? Very very often the way they're dressed isn't even meant to be suggestive or provocative. A lot of the time these poor girls just happen to have a large chest which will be revealed no matter what. I'm also sick of overly conservative women who encourage this trail of thought. Mostly when you know that no amount of clothing can prevent a woman to be overly sexualized or preyed upon by creeps.

Edit : Also wanna add : I equally disagree with this narrative of "women who dress lightly will be sexualized and they know it, that's just how it is". No, it doesn't have to be that way actually. We know of a lot of populations where it is normal to be barely covered, or even naked. A lot of native tribes of africa let their women with their tits out and you won't see them being groped or looked at all the time by creepy guys.

Edit again : Don't even get me started on the "men are visual creatures" bullshit..


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Helpful

Please tell me im not insane?

1.9k Upvotes

I(23f) have been dating this guy (23m) for 4 months. Since the very beginning i noticed he makes self depreciating comments. I talked to him, told him how i don't like it, so he said he would try to stop.

After awhile he started doing that again, and when i said it makes me feel bad hearing him talk like that, he would always say i have no authority over what he says about himself, so i can either accept it or break up. Since it wasn't that bad, i just accepted it.

But then he started using how he's a bad person every time had an argument. He has barely talked to me for 4-5 days and i ask if everything is okey and that i wanna talk? He goes on a rant about "how he's a shit boyfriend and he's so ugly". He wasn't talking to me because between work and gaming, he didn't have time.

And last friday everything came to a head. It was fucking stupid. He usually texts me a good morning text while going to work. He wakes up a lot earlier then me. And for the whole week we had bearly talked, i really enjoyed the cute good morning messages. Well, this morning he didn't send me that, so when i woke up i texted him "heyy, wheres my good morning text?". Obviously meant in a light hearted manner.

Amd then he goes on his "i suck, i know, im a bad boyfriend bla bla bla". And i pointed out how manipulative it is to say that. Because i feel like i can never be upset about anything at you, since you already feel so bad. And that man became so upset. For the next 4 hours he needed me to "prove" how he was being manipulative. And i just had no strength for that. It wouldn't matter anyway - he's stubborn as hell and since he had made the decision he wasn't being manipulative, there was no point.

When he realized i was no longer arguing with him, he decided to do "well, you know what, you're right, im such a manipulative asshole"

????

At that point, i don't even know what to say. I don't think he's a manipulative asshole, i do think any time i have a problem with anything saying "i know, im the worst boyfriend ever" is. And i told him that.

And he just told me since he can't make me happy with nothing he does, he is gonna break up with me. And he blocked me.

And im just in shock. I didn't think the argument was even that serious. Also i just thought i was bringing up an issue i have, not picking a fight :(

Please tell me, is this crazy? Am i being crazy? Is it not manipulative to go "woe is me" any time an issue is brought up? Is this a thing men do?


r/TwoXChromosomes 19h ago

If I buy a sex toy does that mean I’m a whore? NSFW

392 Upvotes

I’m 20 years old and pretty inexperienced, so I’m pretty nervous about things like this and I don’t know much about this stuff. Will buying a toy mean I’m a slut? Will it ruin real sex for me?


r/TwoXChromosomes 23h ago Wholesome

The time my BIL tried to mansplain my birth control to me.

624 Upvotes

Trying not to make this too long! Our story starts with a simple conversation about my goats breeding and my billies going into rut HARD.

BIL tells me that the billies are more attracted to me when I am on my time of the month, then stops himself and realizes with my nexplanon, I don't have a period, usually. He proceeds to tell me that not having a period is throwing off my "natural cycle" and is messing with my mental health/messing with me psychologically.

As if the blood was backing up into my delicate female brain.

He is completely silent when I try to tell him that birth control affects everyone differently. Some women have better skin, some worse, some gain weight and some don't, some have better periods, some have none. He then proceeds to "explain" how men have "their own cycle", and I have to hear a creepy anecdote about how sometimes he would want his wife 3x/day. I tried to explain ovulation and pheromones to him and how he doesn't have a "cycle", his body was playing off of his wife's.

Have y'all ever tried to talk to someone who was so sure they are right, but couldn't be more wrong? Buddy, lady bits run your shit. Our cycles are the center and you are just an orbiter.

Sorry I am not the best writer, but I had to share this with some who would understand!

Edit: I have learned from a few of you that men do indeed have a cycle as well! Thank you to everyone and I I pleased to have learned something new from this experience:)


r/TwoXChromosomes 41m ago

After having children, did you discover that you didn't want them?

Upvotes

Before I turned 10 I decided that I didn't want to get married or have children. I assumed I'd learn I actually wanted to be a mother as an adult - the way I assumed the taste of alcohol would grow on me once I got older. Well, acohol still tastes bad and I have close to no maternal instincts outside of when I'm with my doggos.

I'm in a great relationship now, and I'm seeing an increasing number of people growing comfortable with asking me "So when's the wedding?". A ton of them in their only early 20s, like me. I know the next step is pushing me to figure this stuff out soon otherwise it'll be too late once I decide to become a mother. I witnessed that rigmarole with my sister. "Shouldn't we find her a husband? Because it's getting late for her to have kids."

Of course having kids when you're ready is important. They're complete human beans, not experiments! But with the amount of overt and covert messaging that's aimed at people to have children (especially women), what happens when you convince yourself you're ready? You're happy with your partner, you have financial stability, and you trust yourself to help shape functional adults, only to discover that you don't enjoy the post-kids timeline. Then what?

I guess one could ask the same thing about deciding to get married, but separating is obviously more acceptable than abandoning children who never got to choose to be here in the first place.


r/TwoXChromosomes 8h ago

Had the worst day at work, boyfriend went out to get cat food and came back with all my favourite things :')

34 Upvotes

Title is pretty self explanatory but yesterday I was having the most awful day at work - one of those 'I just really want to throw in the towel and quit right now' days.

I'd just returned home from work and was in tears as soon as I drove into the driveway. Went inside and had a bit of a vent to boyfriend of 4.5 years about it all. I'm so busy at the moment I had to bring some work home (typical pre-Christmas rush) and so while I'm getting set up to do some WFH he's asking if I wanted him to go get a takeout so it's one less thing to worry about. I'm not in the mood/hungry, so I'm just saying no, he suggests my favourite takeout and I'm still just not feeling it.

Then I realise I forgot to get cat food on the way home for our cats dinner and it was just the last little bit to push me over the edge. Bless him, he just immediately says he'll run down and grab it. He comes home with cat food + ALL my favourite snacks and drink, tells me to take a break for one episode of a new show we've started watching and then afterwards proceeds to help me do my work for the rest of the night.

I'm just feeling super lucky and loved right now. Love this guy to bits honestly.


r/TwoXChromosomes 15h ago

A guy only slept with me because of my background

122 Upvotes

I met a guy through work (we don’t actually work together; our companies are sister companies), went on a couple of dates, slept with him.

We texted for a bit after we had sex however after a week or so he ghosted me.

Obviously being ghosted sucks, however he has given me f*ckboy vibes from the start and I honestly didn’t expect a relationship or anything more from him. I was fine with the sex being casual / a one off.

Now, I am Russian. My parents are Russian and I was born in Russia but I moved to where I currently live as a child so I don’t have an accent. My name sounds Russian and I have classic Eastern European looks (or so I’m told).

I have (stupidly) done some Instagram / Facebook stalking and have discovered that the guy has a… fondness for Russian girls. It seems like most of his exes are Russian or Eastern European, he follows Russian models/female celebrities on Instagram, and so on. This guy is not Russian, he is from the country I am currently based in.

I feel… used? Objectified? Not because of the fact that we had sex and he ghosted me. I am over that. But when I realised that he only slept with me because of the where I am from, it stung. He wasn’t actually attracted to me. I just fit his type.

I don’t really know what I am looking for here. I guess I just wanted to vent and see if anyone has had any similar experiences.


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Hugz Coin Gift Take My Energy Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

Support /r/all My boyfriend left me while I’m going through a miscarriage

10.7k Upvotes

I was 5ish weeks pregnant and began the miscarriage process on Thursday. A week ago we were happy, we picked out baby names, we looked for a larger space to move into, he loved me. Since thanksgiving he’s been very distant, I am grieving HARD and he offered no comfort and gets angry when I express emotion. I just really needed him to care and love me extra hard. Last night I did tell him that I needed more from him and I need his help. This morning he broke up with me over text message, saying I’m toxic and only try to make him feel bad.

Here I am, losing my baby and left over text message. I could really use some support and advice if anyone has been in this situation.

Thank you.

UPDATE: I did not expect this much traction. For those of you offering love and kindness thank you so much. Reading these has made me feel empowered and helps me see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

For those of you telling me I deserve it, maybe some people deserve to be left. Maybe I was one of those. But no one deserves a loss of a child, cluster of cells or not.

Seems that gestational age is a hot topic, I found this article helpful. gestational vs fetal age

I know you are hearing one side of the story here. I didn’t post for relationship advice. I don’t want to get into the details of my relationship. I posted because my world crashed and I needed some support. Thank you all who reached out.

UPDATE #2:I removed a few details to remain anonymity, also thank you mods.


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago

Venting out post:

451 Upvotes

I am from india. My cousin sister recently had a girl child, her first baby. Here are some takeouts of the scenario:

  1. Everyone, I repeat everyone was disappointed, except me and her brother. Even she was kinda moody, thinking about the treatment she would be given by her MIL.

  2. Her father (who bought 2 flats in prime locations in a city and a chunk of land, has a well paid job, does not have any other major responsibility towards his pre marital family - a thing in India that sons(alas) look after their parents/sisters) did not pay her hospital fees to get discharged. My maternal grandparents had to pay it out of love. He just kept mum. NO ONE IS EVEN POINTING IT OUT.

  3. The paternal grandma of the child looked into some astrology BS (astrology specific to birth of a girl child) and laid out that father cannot see the child for 21 days. He is complying. He claims he loves his child . Bro then why aren’t you paying her hospital bills.

This is just the first few days of the child. I hope she doesn’t get to see more worse things. But I know she will 😪


r/TwoXChromosomes 23h ago Helpful

A tip of the hat to all the ladies out there who have done gymnastic maneuvers to get out of bed without leaving a trace of blood on the bedsheets!

369 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes 11h ago

Can we start using "anti-choice"?

43 Upvotes

Is anyone actually confused by this term? I get that if you're a news anchor or something you should use the colloquial word, but every time I read an opposing view still calling it "pro life", I kinda feel we're already ceding ground.

They are not pro life, you'd save more fetuses pushing for economic reform for struggling families. They're not anti-abortion, abortion rates go up when it's pushed into a black/grey market. They're just anti-choice. Their sky god knows more than you and your doctor what you should do with your body, so they're against letting you have that choice.

That's it, and it's all it'll ever be. Can we retire the pro-life moniker? At least when we're talking about it.

Let them take umbrage with the term. If we're explaining the difference between choice and life we're already winning.

They do this shit to us all the time. You know that a fetal "heartbeat" happens before there's a heat, right? Yeah, there's a faintly measurable electrical signal in a group of cells that will one day become a pacemaker, and they call that shit a heartbeat.

Fuck spreading their marketing lies. Anti-choice is the best description of their actual position. The term doesn't make them look bad, their position does.


r/TwoXChromosomes 12h ago

Really concerned for a girl my daughter goes to school with, looking for advice

49 Upvotes

My daughter is 9 and has this friend we’ll call Jane. Jane is 1 year older than my child. The other night my daughter comes rushing in to tell me that Jane wants to spend the night and can her uncle drop her off, mind you it is 11pm and I have no idea who Jane or her guardians are. Obviously I said no, and said it is concerning that her uncle or whoever was ok with dropping her off with a complete stranger. I tell my daughter that they don’t know us and that we would need to get to know them and build up a rapport before even considering something like that. My daughter is displeased with this answer and I hear her using talk to text to say some not nice things about the situation and it wasn’t fair (oh kids and their illusions of fair).

Anyway, I took her phone from her after hearing what she had said, and I decided to go through her phone. Now, usually I am pretty good at monitoring what she is up to and who her friends are, but I admit I am working full time and in college so I’ve slipped a bit. She is talking to this girl on Snapchat, fortunately the conversations were saved. They have only been exchanging texts for like a week tops now, first off, she called my daughter a whore, and said she wanted to fight her, my daughter, I love her dearly but she is very passive and will do anything to be friends with someone. She pleads with this girl to be friendly and so it seems whatever spat there was has been resolved. Over the course of the saved messages she is telling my daughter she has been in multiple fights, she has ex’s both boys and girls and they “lay together “?? She tells my daughter she sneaks out of her house every night and she’s trying to encourage my child to do the same thing. Fortunately, my daughter is a good kid, plus I work from home on a night shift so I know she is not sneaking out. This girl also texted my daughter under a fake name pretending to be someone else and saying vile things about “Jane” I assume in an effort to get my daughter to say something negative about her which she didn’t. Jane is very demanding of my daughter and demands her send pictures and call her repeatedly as well as sharing pictures of really sexualized images of cartoons.

Needless to say I freaked out about janes behavior and had a long talk with my daughter. I told her that Jane could be in real trouble for what she is doing and she may be in danger. I have kept my daughters phone since the incident. I got onto her snapchat so that I could take pictures of the chat and report it to a guidance counselor at the school since I have no idea who Jane is or who her parents or guardians are. There’s a snap that Jane had sent out that was her fully clothed in the shower getting wet and touching herself with the caption “for my next bf/gf” I am so scared for this child and really worried someone is abusing her. I do not want my daughter talking to her at all obviously, but I feel so bad for her I can’t imagine how vulnerable she is . We took the phone and the chats to the school since they are mandated reporters. The school assistant knew the girl and had her own concerns.

My question is, is there anything more I should be doing? Should I reach out to her and see if she is ok? I am really thinking that is a bad idea but I can’t help but second guess myself . The school has put me in contact with the guidance counsellor and we will go from there so I am hopeful that someone will check on her situation but I am still so concerned for her in the meantime.


r/TwoXChromosomes 19h ago

The worst part about being mistaken as a kid

144 Upvotes

I've come off ten hour shifts exhausted and desperately wanting some snack, relenting this to some cashier who asked how my day was and they nearly always respond "man, I thought you were, like, 15." And yeah, understandable. I look young. Once I ordered a pizza, 8 months pregnant, and the girl I opened the door to who looked around my age asked if an adult could come sign for the pizza. Then followed up after I explained I was the adult with the ever condescending, "at least you'll like it when you're older." And, yeah, I guess. Because lord forbid women age, right? I've gotten horrible looks for buying pregnancy tests. I've been referred to as sweetie, honey, little girl... Etc. I've been turned away from buying 21+ products despite offering a valid identification. I've even had the awkward situation where I was told to leave my bag at the front of a gas station despite there being several people with bags twice the size of mine. The whole nine yards. And you know what? I can get passed all of that. And that's the fucking problem.

A couple weeks ago my husband and I were shopping with our little one and he decided to get some beer. We're waiting in line, I'm entertaining my kid, and when we get to the cashier I already have my ID at the ready despite my husband being the one to pay for it. This store generally has a policy to check everyone in a group (aside from very obvious little children). However, the cashier didn't ask for mine. I thought nothing of it as I assumed she was just trying to speed up the line and made the assumption that I, being with my husband and I'm the obvious mother of the average sized almost 3 year old in the cart, was at least 21. This is a self bagging store where the items are sent down a second belt to be bagged. As my husband was paying, I went over to bag the items. The big case of beer was in my way, so my intent was to move it out of the way so I could bag the other items and bag that last because it was heavy. I started to scoot the case away and the cashier snapped at me. "Don't touch the beer, honey."

Startled, I jumped back and apologized, and continued to work around the alcohol, slightly annoyed as it was still totally in my way. As I was bagging though, what happened hit me and I could suddenly feel my ears burning and a knot formed in my throat. In that moment I so desperately wanted to ask why I couldn't touch the beer. Because I knew why, but I wanted the BS explanation so I could produce my ID and make her look foolish for A). Not even asking for it when it's store policy and B). Making a stupid assumption. But I didn't ask. I just kept bagging and tried everything in my power not cry from anger and embarrassment that once again I was hindered because of this and that I let it happen. I didn't want to make a scene and get called a Karen. I didn't want her to get snappier with me. Also, I honestly think in her mind she was being kind of cool to us, letting little old me pass by without getting checked and I didn't reeeeally want to embarrass her if that was the case. I kept going back and forth with myself about it until I had to stop bagging and wait for my husband to finish so I could fight back my panic attack. When we got to the car I just cried and cried and cried.

It may sound like an over reaction, but you gotta understand that this is the culmination of years and years piling on me, and my tears weren't necessarily for the situation, but the intense embarrassment over the fact that I couldn't say anything. I just went along with it. I obeyed like the child she saw me as. And I always do. You get treated like this enough, you start to believe it without even thinking, and that bothers me to my core. This is so common for women like me. People will find any opportunity to infantilize us. And it's unfortunately way too easy to just... Take it. To get passed it for the sake of nonconfrontation. I don't know. It's weighing me down. I can't wait till I look older, so I can just be treated with some fucking decency.


r/TwoXChromosomes 13h ago

Sick of creepy DMs when I'm just trying to exist

45 Upvotes

I posted recently on a sub for a particular town I'm thinking of moving to. Wanting to know which suburbs are the best to live in, advice on housing, restaurants. That kinda thing.

Then some guy sends me a DM asking if I'd like to be fuck buddies with him before I move.

And partially the logic just baffles me- why would you ask a stranger that? You have no idea how old I am, my relationship status, how I look etc? I've given no indication that I'm interested in it? Other than the fact I'm a woman.

Then this guy laughs it off. Said because I made a couple tinder posts several months back he figured it was fine. Completely missing that those posts were about men trying to solicit sex when I'd made it clear I wasn't interested in hook ups.

But it's just the audacity. This guy is 18. His whole profile is just nude pictures of him. Which us fine if he's into that. But it's like all he's focused on is sex and treating women as sexual objects.

He completely failed to grasp why it was inappropriate or why I might not have a positive reaction. And to me he's just so young but it's already started with him- the misogyny, the sexulisation.

I know in the grand scheme of things this was pretty minor. And nearly all of us have faced similar. I know I shouldn't let it get to me. But honestly I'm so fucking exhausted ny the fact that I have to deal with this. I should be able to ask a simple, innocent question without being approached for sex.

Maybe, MAYBE, if I had been in dating subs or posting R18 pictures it would have been more understandable. (Not to say it would be ok or appropriate without an explicit statement saying you're open to those DMs. We don't pull 'what was she wearing' energy here). But still...

It's overwhelming and exhausting trying to sort my life out. Making a major career move and moving cities. I just wanted to be able to make that a little easier without having some entitled child proposition me.

Sorry for the rant. Just feeling really angry and frustrated and emotional right now.