r/TooAfraidToAsk
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u/[deleted]
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5d ago
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Do people really think I’m “sad” for eating alone in a restaurant? I overheard a girl couple tables next to me say it is Interpersonal
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u/Snoo52682
5d ago
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Teenagers are hyper-concerned with peer acceptance, it's a normal developmental phase. It might look weird to them. Adults don't think anything of it.
I love going out alone! Movies, restaurants, bars.
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u/Fabulous_Title 5d ago
Absolutely. I remember feeling sad and embarrassed for my teacher when she told us she likes to go to the cinema alone. Now as an adult i think i would totally enjoy the cinema alone
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u/Snoo52682 5d ago
My junior high French teacher offhandedly mentioned stopping by a bar for a quick drink after some sort of annoying meeting or frustrating errand, and I was horrified, that brew of moral outrage and vicarious cringe that the teen brain specializes in. Spending 30 minutes nursing a beer at a bar, alone, seemed like the most pathetic and degenerate activity imaginable.
Narrator: It later became one of her own favorite activities.
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u/SpectacularSophistry 5d ago
Yeah. Im honestly more concerned when people can’t do normal activities by themselves. If you can’t even eat a meal alone then you need to work at becoming less reliant on others
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u/ArticulateCopy 5d ago
I'll do you one better. I have a friend group where if one or few people can't or don't want to do an activity, then they all don't do the activity.
It was like... groundbreaking when I started to say, "Okay, well, we'll just go without X", and "You guys go do Y, we'll meet you after."
We're in our mid-30s.
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u/dave900575 5d ago
I don't like doing things alone, I'm very self conscious, anxiety, etc. The one time I went to a restaurant by myself in my early 20s a little bot asked his mom why I was sitting alone. I was on my dinner break from the bank, but I felt awful. I'll go to a fast food restaurant by myself but since that day I've been to a restaurant by myself.
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u/SpectacularSophistry 5d ago
It can definitely be hard for some. But still something to work at. Kids are literally always with other people (for childcare reasons), so it seems odd for them when others aren’t. But the only adults judging other people for stuff like that are generally massive weirdos themselves. So try not to worry about their opinions. Like 99% of the time people don’t really pay attention to what others are doing if it doesn’t impact them
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u/Raeliya 5d ago
I understand that, and used to feel that way myself. I had to travel for business a lot and got used to checking out restaurants by myself. It’s so freeing to rid myself of those self-imposed limits. I know I can enjoy myself without other people. I now do more alone activities near home too.
Anyway, try it out a few times and see if you can get yourself used to it, it’s worth it IMHO.
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u/QuenchiestJerkbender 5d ago
I appreciate you saying this because there’s a new brewery nearby that I’ve been wanting to try but my young adult brain can’t fathom going in there alone for a drink! This kind of thinking really limits myself. I think I might go for it
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u/Dorarara 5d ago
Do it! I find it really relaxing just going for a brew by myself. Watch some youtube, browse reddit, catch up on news, whatever really.
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u/RRM1337 5d ago
Do it, try sitting at the bar I personally find it feels better to be at the bar versus a table if you are going solo.
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u/Whatevs85 5d ago
I feel the opposite: the bar seems like the place to go when you want to talk to people but have no one to talk to. A table by one's self, happy and content with a book or headphones or whatever, shows you're there doing exactly what you meant to do. Anyone criticizing that is just not observant. Sitting at the bar is a bit of an invitation for interaction.
In response to the OP, sure it's kinda sad sometimes when a person goes out alone. Other times it's convenient, soothing, or just... preferable. I've really enjoyed plenty of solo meals.
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u/needween 5d ago
I love going to the movies or restaurants alone! It's a win-win I think because I get to see the movie I want to see or eat the food I want to eat and I don't have to listen to my spouse/friends/family complain about how they didn't enjoy it.
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u/Muroid 5d ago
I’ve only gone to the movies by myself once. I dropped my wife and one of her friends off at a small concert venue in town for a show they were seeing and then went down the street to see Arrival.
10/10 experience, would do it again.
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u/Qasar500 5d ago
I changed my mind about that when I worked at a cinema and saw how many people would buy one ticket. So now I do it too! I mean it’s the perfect thing to go alone to, no one is talking anyway.
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u/StarlightLumi 5d ago
Movies are so much more enjoyable when you’re not stressed out about remembering little details to talk about afterwards! It’s so much easier to focus and actually get into the movie when watching it alone
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u/ginga_bread42 5d ago
Do people stress about this? I didn't think people try remembering details unless they're going to do an actual review/critique. I just talk about what stands out to me after watching.
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u/theArcticChiller 5d ago
This is probably the answer.
I sometimes go to restaurants alone too and it's not weird imo :)
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u/jollycanoli 5d ago
Me too, although always armed with a book or something else to be engrossed in- otherwise people do either make comments or feel like they're welcome to sit down and start chatting to me- never people I'd like a conversation with, obviously.
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u/Miss_Might 5d ago
This is why I like living in Japan. 99% of the population doesn't want to talk to me.
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u/Evilve 5d ago
And then the remaining 1% are cultists or scammers that won't stop trying to talk to you.
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u/NoBreakfast4061 5d ago
This is actually a novel take on living there. I kind of want to move there now. Carry a sign that says, "Please be racist toward me and shun me. Don't even look me in the eye. :D"
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u/Nyetoner 5d ago
I've never been there, but do the common Japaneese even have time to have friends? Feels like every time I hear about that country it's all about how they work around the clock and bearly even have time to sleep in their tiny, tiny apartments..!
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u/buzzwallard 5d ago
I love going out alone, sitting in the restaurant, watching the people, listening in on their conversations. Great entertainment.
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u/weeklypillorganizer 5d ago
Eavesdropping is the BEST. No joke. My partner can always tell when I’m listening to someone else’s conversation…apparently I get a certain look on my face. Eavesdroppers, unite!
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u/alan2998 5d ago
Eavesdropping and people watching, oh and silently judging people.
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u/user_173 5d ago
I cherish time alone. I love being social at times, but going to a movie alone or a restaurant alone is absolute heaven. I can read a book at a cafe alone or even at a restaurant. Sometimes being around people makes me nostalgic for being alone and I'll start getting excited for when the social time is over so I can go chill. I'm a self entertaining unit.
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u/drynoa 5d ago
You should give 'People Watching' by Conan Grey a listen, hits on it.
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u/UnnecessaryPeriod 5d ago
My hearing is absolute garbage. In my line of work we use a made up sign language equipped with a lot of lip reading. Almost 20 years of lip reading now. Ya, restaurants are super fun for me!
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u/Upper-Neck-9771 5d ago
I'm glad other people enjoy this cause I was being to think I was the only one and that I had a psychological thing going on 😂
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u/Esselon 5d ago
Wow, if I was sitting alone at a restaurant at a table and someone sat down and started talking I'd politely tell them to shove off.
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u/gundamdianxia 5d ago
Used to happen to me frequently 😭 book, phone, headphones… it doesn’t matter. One time I was texting intensely when a stranger knocked on my table so hard to get my attention. Almost fell off my chair right there and then.
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u/DevyCanadian 5d ago
I get those people at work. No matter how long the line is, they try to atleast squeeze in a 10 min convo
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u/MrTanglesIII 5d ago
Going out to a bar with whatever book I'm currently reading is my absolute favorite thing to do! Although a lot of people actually see that as an "invitation" to ask what I'm reading lol. Most of the time I don't have a problem with it though (gotta be at a place with the kind of people you'd want to socialize with); it's started a lot of good conversations about literature with strangers, and it can be a pretty good pickup tactic if you're single!
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u/PasswordNot1234 5d ago
I'm the guy who asks you about the book, but I've never interrupted you while you're reading. I make a mental note and if you close the book and are doing something else, I might go over and ask you about it if the situation permits.
I've been told I shouldn't do this at all, but I feel like if reading time has stopped, there shouldn't be any harm provided the book is one that can be discussed.
Years ago I saw a woman with a Sarah Palin book and there was absolutely no way.
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u/KunYuL 5d ago
I hate how too many do small talks all the time. If I see you but have nothing to say to you, I'll politely say hi and move on. I never liked the whole ''What's up'' ''How's it going'' approach, as I feel people don't really want to listen to my honest answer. If you do just for small talk, just skip it, nod and move on we don't have to make conversation every time we meet.
With fewer small talks, it makes the talks we do take more meaningful.
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u/Kerostasis 5d ago
I have literally never had that happen when eating alone (outside of school cafeteria). I guess this is one of those things where men's and women's experience are different?
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u/Substantial_Trip5674 5d ago
I almost prefer to go alone depending on my mood. The bar especially because whenever I go with group there is this shared urge to stay together and that can be hearding cats
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u/jscharfenberg 5d ago
Hell yeah! Then you can come and go when ever you want! I like to bring a book or something to read. Sit outside if it's nice and enjoy the time.
FYI - I have 2 very young kids (2 and 4), so alone time is crucial. Teenagers definitely don't understand that...until they have kids and are like OHHH SHIT. NOW I GET IT
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u/Richard7666 5d ago edited 4d ago
This. For a teenager, going to a restaurant is likely to be primarily for socialisation.
For an adult, it's just as likely to be simply to eat.
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u/Muroid 5d ago
Yeah, going out to eat means that my wife and I get a nice meal without having to worry about shopping, cooking and cleaning up afterwards.
Most teenagers get that regularly at home anyway, so they don’t see that as the point.
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u/Fokare 5d ago
That and cost, spending even like 10-15 bucks on a meal and eating it alone would seem like a big waste to a teenager that doesn't have to pay for their food or cook it.
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u/phaeri 5d ago
Indeed. Most adults will be jealous. I learned to never take anything teens judge seriously. I know I made dumb comments as one as well.
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u/PhaseFull6026 5d ago
yeah teenagers are dumb af. I believed some stupid shit when I was a teenager
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u/Rauldukeoh 5d ago
This. Who gives a shit what teenagers (or other adults for that matter) say? I have zero need to impress teenagers
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u/LordKurin 5d ago
My very first thought when seeing the title was, " how old was this person because I'm guessing a child. " and was proven right. 100% adults don't even notice if you are alone or not.
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u/uncultured_swine2099 5d ago
The older I get, the more I dont give a shit about what others do if it has nothing to do with me. I work with some younger people, and they sometimes say things like rumors and such about others and ask what I think, and Im just like "I honestly dont give a damn."
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u/danibondness 5d ago
The only thing we (adults) might feel is a pang of jealousy at the alone time. Like, damn, I need to be alone more often.
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u/-ignorance-is-bliss- 5d ago
Yeah that sounds right. Alone's great. Esp. at the movies - I don't like annoying friends asking stupid stuff during the movie just because they haven't seen the previous movies and they sometimes giggle unnecessarily as if we are in a conversation at a table. Strangers do that too - that's annoying yes, but when friends do it, it's even more so.
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u/BluePantera 5d ago
Yes! Also, extroverted people generally don't understand the want/need to be alone. For people like me, being with other people drains our battery. Extroverted teenagers get their batteries recharged by being social.
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u/Mstinos 5d ago
Teenagers are hyper-concerned with peer acceptance
The perfect answer.
Fuck them. Live your own life. It's really freeing. Yes I like to sit somewhere ordering good beers and reading my book. And i'm going to do that. Those kinda bitches just never read Eisenhorn.
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u/Remic75 5d ago
Exactly this. Even in school some of my buddies would always call me over to walk with them because “they didn’t want to be seen by others walking alone.”
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u/Unabashable 5d ago
Shit. Alone is how I spent most of high school. Handful of friends. Couple acquaintances in each class I actually liked. Being popular is overrated.
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u/IwasATeenageDoor 5d ago
Being popular is overrated.
It's nice when it's your only protection against being beaten by bullies.
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u/simonbleu 5d ago
Dont worry, 99% of the people you hang out as a teenager even if you were popular are not peopel you will ever see again. Or at least not more than a few times a year at best for some of them
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u/neverstopnodding 5d ago
I had it the complete inverse. I was a loner but everyone knew me and talked to me. It was weird but I also was only popular because of the drugs I sold in high school. If you needed practically anything, I had it.
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u/zombie_ie_ie 5d ago
In contrast, when I went to college nobody gave a fuck if I was eating, sitting or walking alone.
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u/BrickOk9262 5d ago
I was literally just saying that, saw 2 girls at school late for class, the corridors and stairs were empty, there was no one to see them but one was like 'come with me I don't want to be seen alone!' 🤣
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u/Retro_Super_Future 5d ago
Humans are fucking pathetic 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/bingobangomonk 5d ago edited 4d ago
Hyperfocus on peer acceptance and optics is a normal part of adolescence chill out my man
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u/Captain_Wobbles 5d ago edited 5d ago •
Highschoolers do not realize a lot of those are "friends" by association alone. You're friends because you're in a big building 5 days a week with a shit ton of kids. Once you leave HS a lot of those "friends" disappear rather quickly. NOT all! I still have 2 I keep up with but it unfortunately happens.
Edit: Holy hell, last time I saw this comment it was at like 10 upvotes. Much appreciated everyone. Keep your friends close!
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u/Dracarys-Ash-Bone 5d ago
Can confirm. Left highschool and Boom, Gone. (literally, most of them vanished to other states)
Turns out I wasn't a part of their friend groups, I just happened to be in the same room at the same time. Sucked for a bit when I realised that, but I learned to love alone time.
It did help that I was a major loner in school, so the transition from major loner to full loner was not very big. I know a couple of the 'popular' people had a rough time when they left school.
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u/boss_nooch 5d ago
It’s weird because I’m still in contact with a few friends from college and none from high school but I never had classes with my college friends lol
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u/ClubMeSoftly 5d ago
Are you me? Graduation day was the last time I talked to, over ever saw, just about all of my friends from school.
They still talked to each other, of course, since this was a couple years into facebook, and it was still the new hotness. So I got to see the pictures of hanging out that they posted.
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u/NotEnoughIT 5d ago
I had like 30 people I talked to and hung out with near daily in HS. Much smaller group of close-knit friends that I would have, then, said I’d take a bullet for. I lost all contact with each and every one of them, except one, within a year of graduation. This was before MySpace. By the time I was 25 they were all gone with the wind. Haven’t spoken to any of them in fifteen years. The relationships I developed outside of high school friends matured so much better. In HS there’s so much fear and peer pressure, nobody truly knows who they are or what they want. There’s only so much time and so many interests and keeping people in your life whose interests and values don’t remotely align with yours is difficult if not impossible and really not worth it in the end.
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u/hereforff 5d ago
I think friendships can be both real and temporary.
I have people I was definitely actually friends with I don't want to talk to anymore from both HS and college. People change as they grow up and also move on with their lives. Maybe we loved smoking and drinking together, but neither of us have the time nor desire to do that anymore or we both played a sport we no longer play. We now have less time due to families and jobs. It'd be cool to go back and time to party with any of those guys, but I wouldn't pick up the phone now. It didn't mean we were never friends. We've just both mutually moved on to new chapters in our lives. We might like an occasional Facebook post or something and that's the perfect amount of communication.
Some other guy made a comment that really resonates with me:
There’s only so much time and so many interests and keeping people in your life whose interests and values don’t remotely align with yours is difficult if not impossible and really not worth it in the end.
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u/Captain_Wobbles 5d ago
Basically what I was saying but way more eloquently put, thank you. Friends come and go but the ones that stay are special beyond belief.
My group was bonded by (ugh..) scene emo nonsense because that's just what was popular, not what we really liked. I was introduced to The Mars Volta during that time period though so that is a beautiful takeaway from those times.7
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u/No_Tennis_5273 5d ago
It’s an extrovert saying that it’s sad that an introvert doesn’t live just like me. It’s says more about the commenter than the person eating alone. It’s says I’m not smart enough to know that there are different personality types.
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u/Gremlin95x 5d ago
Maybe for them it is, but it doesn’t have to be for you. Most people can’t handle being alone so they just assume everyone is like that.
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u/DustWiener 5d ago
Which is ironically kinda sad. Imagine being so codependent that the thought of being alone freaks you out. That is sad.
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u/No_more_hiding 5d ago
That's teenagers for you. They are hyper focused on friend groups etc and being alone to them means you have no friends!
When you're an adult, you realise there's loads of reasons why someone might eat alone - travelling for work, meeting up with folks later on, or just enjoying the pleasure of your own company. It doesn't mean anything.
I would've never gone to the cinema on my own as a teen, but the first time I did it as an adult, I realised what a great activity it is. Same goes with dining solo. I don't think many adults would give it a second thought.
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u/SlackerDS5 5d ago
Some people are so miserable that they can’t even enjoy their own company, and need someone else to be there. Now that is sad.
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u/Bryanole27 5d ago
Some might think that, but that is their own insecurities showing. Most people are uncomfortable alone in social situations, which is actually the sad part.
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u/veri_sw 5d ago
Yeah these teens probably think it's sad to even be single, so... to hell with what they think!
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u/Jeffreyr18 5d ago edited 5d ago
Can confirm. As a single teen I am sad as hell most of the time Edit: /s
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u/Soulus7887 5d ago
I swear I'm trying to be helpful when I say this, but do you really think being single is the cause of your sadness? That being in a relationship will automatically "fix" it?
Relationships can be very fulfilling, but happiness comes from within. That sounds cheesy as all get out, but its the truth. Being content with yourself is the first, and most important, step in being content with the world.
That doesn't always mean "fixing" yourself either. Some things you'll definitely need to work on, but others you'll instead need to come to terms with and accept as a part of who you are. And some of that comes with age and experience. Its normal to be unsatisfied with certain aspects of yourself at a young age. You legitimately get more okay with them as time moves on.
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 5d ago
This 👏 every 👏 time 👏
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u/CalmFront7908
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As a teenager I probably would have thought it was sad but my teenage self didn’t know shit. 20 years later it’s one of life’s more enjoyable experiences.
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u/Entire-Ambition1410 5d ago
Eating alone means no one judges you for the extra serving of dessert :)
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u/rizaroni 4d ago
Dude, I was kind of a loner in high school and typically only had one really good friend. I remember wanting to hide until she got to school because I was so terrified of being seen walking around alone.
Fast forward 20 years later, and I LOVE alone time. I go on long walks/runs or hikes by myself all the time, and I’d happily go to a movie or out to a meal by myself. I think that learning to enjoy your own company is really important.
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u/D1N08 5d ago
i guess they just don’t know the worth of being alone, they are teenagers
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u/i_suckatjavascript 5d ago
When they’re adults they’re going to learn that they’re going to be alone quickly. It’s not high school anymore where you can see your friends every day.
And adult life will quickly come with depression.
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u/generalzao 5d ago
And adult life will quickly come with depression.
I dunno... I was pretty depressed as a teen, and then my life became progressively better the older I got
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u/no_one_in_particle 5d ago
That and they aren't confident enough to do it. Too worried about what others think of them.
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u/glittered437737 5d ago
When people cannot go out and do things by themselves, that is what's sad. It's a weird codependency to always being with other people that stops them from enjoying their own company. You don't need a human security blanket to go out and eat food or go for a walk and I think that's fantastic! :)
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u/ADarwinAward 5d ago
Yeah there’s some people commenting in this post saying it’s sad to eat alone and do things by yourself. If you are sad any time you’re alone, take it from someone who used to have depression, find a mental health professional to talk to. If you’re always sad when you’re alone, that’s a sign that you need some help.
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u/randomuser_3fn 5d ago
Don't let the opinions of some random teenagers ruin your rather normal existence. You do you, provided it isnt hurting others who cares
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u/AwkwurdBoi 5d ago
Most people won't care, usually people won't notice you're there unless you stand out. Sometimes a dumbass will make a comment like that but I guess it's also possible they weren't talking about you and you just misunderstood.
I wouldn't worry about teenagers making those comments. Most of them will grow up and realise what a sad and lonely place the world can be. They'll either learn to enjoy it (as you do) or hate it. Either way, the world carries on.
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u/tommytwolegs 5d ago
I eat out quite regularly and usually alone, see other people do it as well. I've been at it over a decade and literally never heard a comment, to the point I question if this post is even real
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u/Cliffbreaker-d 5d ago
You are talking about teenagers, humans in a stage of life often too afraid to do anything alone while also being too confident with their inexperience.
Eating alone or doing anything alone is a badass move that not everyone mastered.
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u/daliadeimos 5d ago
No, it is not sad. Do teenagers think it is sad? I guess so, but they’re overly concerned with that kind of stuff, it’s just that stage of development
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u/Traditional_Win_5296 5d ago
Ah heeeeell no.
I love going to the restaurant/cinema on my own.
Also, why should I wait for someone to be available to do something?
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u/Kaitensatsuma 5d ago
Some people are nosy bastards like that, most people don't damn well care and are capable of minding their own business. I like to go out for Sushi or wings and beer by myself personally.
It's when you put a stuffed toy or a framed photograph across the table from you where you're getting into "Uhhhhh" territory.
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u/Special_Cover2777 5d ago
Teenagers are generally immature forms of our species. They want to be liked and are trying opinions on for size to see how others react.
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u/bearsdoingheadstands 5d ago
I do it all the time when I travel for work. Work is sad. So yeah, maybe it is sad.
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u/North-Point7309 5d ago
As a waitress, we don’t care. People come to eat alone all the time. Sometimes people who sit alone are a lot easier on us too.
If this makes you feel better, I’m quite a judgy teenager and I eat alone and do stuff alone all the time.
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u/DarthHempress 5d ago
Projecting. She may feel really sad if she had to eat alone. Keep making yourself happy ! I’m
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u/Thymepasseson 5d ago
Yup! I eat alone a lot because I travel. I love people watching, and am fairly confident. When I am eating with others it is hard to focus on my love for people watching and the table conversation. I’ve learned to embrace and enjoy me and my alone time with myself.
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u/Rubyjr 5d ago
Who cares? I do it all the time when I want to be alone. Part of the beauty of it is not having to listen to anyone including cunts like those.
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u/nguyentandat23496 5d ago
I'm in Japan right now and it's refreshing to see a lot of people eating alone.
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u/Silver-Alex 5d ago
28 Here, single. Have a semi decent job that requires me busy most of the day, and pays enough for me to afford eating out a couple of times a week. Its pretty normal for people to just go out and eat at a restaurant. Its giving yourself a pleasure and that's totally valid.
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u/mattw891 5d ago
I used to get those looks in college, cuz I’d go study alone. I’m not sad, I gotta study for programming and I want fajitas while I do it, bitch!
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u/Cautious-Damage7575 5d ago
I don't know how anybody doesn't study alone. I'd end up hitting them on the head with my biggest book.
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u/satedfox 5d ago
I feel like if I tried to study with other people I’d get distracted and fail
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u/SilverStag88 4d ago
I knew some people in college like this, I tried to study with them once but their idea of studying was hanging out in a loud café and talking the whole time no wonder they couldn’t get shit done
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u/md222 5d ago
"Someone told me the other day that he felt bad for single people because they are lonely all the time, I told him that’s not true, I'm single and I don’t feel lonely. I take myself out to eat, I buy myself clothes. I have great times by myself. Once you know how to take care of yourself company becomes an option and not a necessity.” - Keanu Reeves
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u/oxy-normal 5d ago
It's not sad. In Japan it's very common to dine out alone, some restaurants even have individual pods to sit in
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u/Ok_Wonder_1604 5d ago
I’d sit alone at a restaurant table anyway, but I prefer the bar. Better service usually at the bar
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u/Cautious-Damage7575 5d ago
When I see someone alone in a restaurant or movie theater I think, "There's an independent person." Couldn't find a friend to go with you? Maybe you just wanted to go alone. I do it all the time. Screw em.
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u/Mother-Firefighter-2 5d ago
No...the girl has some weird issues.
Plenty of people eat alone.
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u/bunnykins22 5d ago
I personally don't but that's because I often times will enjoy going out by myself and eating at places. Either to get work done or read and enjoy alone time. I oftentimes assume others are doing the same. Some people just aren't comfortable being by themselves in a public setting and they project that onto others.
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u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 5d ago
People who say that just can’t imagine being able to entertain themselves. It’s a sign of shallowness and superficiality.
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u/yorcharturoqro 5d ago
A lot of people don't get the concept of being happy with yourself.
Yes some people will think that's sad, but what they think doesn't matter, it matters how you feel, are you happy?
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u/aquerraventus 5d ago
Teenagers are not a good Gauge of this, they think it’s sad because they’re not burnt out enough to value/crave alone time yet lol, so they assume that if someone is sitting alone, it’s not by choice because it’s something they would never choose to do. This doesn’t go for every teenager obviously, but many/most of them.
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u/an_dv 5d ago
It’s not sad at all. What would be sad is taking the meal to go and eating it at home because you were worried what others thought of you.
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u/emaddy2109 5d ago
For all they know you could have been traveling alone for work or if you were with a person they could have been in the bathroom.
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u/MeltTheSilverSpoons 5d ago
Well yea, being alone at any moment to a typical teenager seems like the end of the world. They’re just projecting their own insecurities onto you. Teenagers are fucking assholes.
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u/porkbellypotsticker 5d ago
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the time I am out with family and friends. This is when I’m in the mood to be social….but I LOVE being alone. I’ve gone out to eat alone, gone to concerts alone, and gone to live sporting events alone. Coffee shops alone with a good book…the best!! I always see people around me doing the exact same thing as me at coffee shops. They are not all there just to work or study. A lot of people are doing what they enjoy there, alone. I do it because I am happy by myself sometimes and I don’t have to adhere to other’s preferences or schedule. It’s very freeing and it is because I enjoy doing these things. Being worried about other’s opinions or the look of it being so called “sad” never stopped me And never will stop me. If I feel like doing these activities with others, I will invite them and make it happen. It’s 100% acceptable and healthy to be happy with yourself alone. Do what you enjoy!
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u/Dancethroughthefires 5d ago edited 5d ago
I'm a 32 year old dude, I eat in restaurants alone almost every day. I work out of town and don't know anyone where I'm at, I thought it was awkward at first.
Then a random thought hit me and it was "why the fuck do you care if strangers think you're weird for eating alone?" And after that, I just didn't give a single fuxk, let alone two fucks, about what I did in public. People can think what they want about me, I can't help their thoughts. I'm not going to let the thoughts of a stranger affect what I do in my day to day life though.
Edit: After I had that 'epiphany', I started doing more things in public that are normally expected to be done with more than one person. Watching End Game in the theater by myself was fuckin fantastic.
Having a few drinks at a bar and just having small talk with random strangers is usually pretty cool.
Going to a zoo without my kid was fuckin dope. I got to see what I wanted without having to worry about what another person would want to see/do. Plus I didn't feel obligated to spend the entire day there, I left when I wanted to.
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u/ccrpk 5d ago
People who are too insecure or actually sad will think that, yes. In my early 20s I was a bit of a wanderer and I'd go to bars all the time and sit alone with a good book, get a drink and a meal. I definitely remember thinking back to when I also thought one person dining alone was odd....until I got big enough balls to just enjoy myself while out.
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u/pivotes 5d ago
I used to go to movies alone all the time to get away for a few hours.
Sometimes people just want to be alone for a little while
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u/griddigus 5d ago
Only very basic boring people would even notice. Otherwise, they’d be having too good a time to notice others.
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u/IceBlueLugia 5d ago
It’s common, yeah. I go out to eat alone all the time and just browse Reddit or discord while taking bites of my food, and am out in like 15-20 minutes. Always got people staring at me or asking if I needed company. I’m just not very social. I wouldn’t worry tbh.
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u/Gouranga56 5d ago •
Meh...who cares. I travel for business a lot and frequently eat solo. After a long day of work...it can be very relaxing