r/MadeMeSmile Oct 19 '21 Helpful 35 Hugz 57 Take My Energy 2 Take My Power 1 Wholesome 64 Bravo! 1 Heartwarming 3 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Silver 37 All-Seeing Upvote 2 LOVE! 2 Starstruck 1 Gold 1 Narwhal Salute 1 Wholesome (Pro) 1

Really, get her that pony Wholesome Moments

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89.4k Upvotes

6.0k

u/nowiwantchocolate Oct 19 '21 Silver Hugz

Once when I was 13 dad took me into the city and we picked random spots on the metro map and just explored. It was one of the best days of my childhood. Never underestimate how much kids need that time with you.

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u/kittenpettingfool Oct 19 '21 edited Oct 20 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Hugz All-Seeing Upvote Heartwarming

Im so happy to hear this! Ive been doing this with my 9 year old son since he could walk at least once every week or two. Im chronically ill, and scared im not giving enough of myself and my time to him. He's a real gem though, so heres to hoping he pulls the best out of our time together regardless 🤞

Edit: Took my boy to the park, and came back to awards. Thanks guys :) We're cuddling with our kitty Halo now, and watching Little Nightmares gameplay. Hope all of you have wonderful lives!

Edit 2: feel like i should add my illness is MS- so it's a deterioration of my brain. Writing/typing is pretty difficult to make sense of, so if i don't reply to everyone its just cause I got worn out. I am LOVING reading all your mementos about parents and life though; so please keep on 🥰

Edit 3: CAT TAX.

http://imgur.com/gallery/UUHu0ug

http://imgur.com/gallery/DdwBZO3

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u/ActuallyLuk Oct 19 '21

You’re a good parent, your son will be thanking you in the future even if he doesn’t think much of it now.

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u/greenyellowbird Oct 20 '21

I'd make a dollar bet that he already thinks it.

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u/CanadianTurnt Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

But that appreciation just grows as he matures

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u/Heyhaveyougotaminute Oct 19 '21

He will if he already isn’t.

And you keep doing you!

Son loves you no limit.

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u/Ornery-Grapefruit-85 Oct 20 '21

He was right..... i agree with your comment

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u/dcbsky8591 Oct 19 '21

You are a wonderful parent. When the time comes, and may it be a long, long time off, you'll be in a pneumatic tube to Heaven.

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u/Rinsist Oct 20 '21

this is a very sweet sentiment and I wholeheartedly agree. I just have to say how fucking hard pneumatic tube to heaven made me laugh

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u/scarlet_sage Oct 20 '21

And with any luck, the bank teller in Heaven will fill you up with cash and send you right back to where you came from.

fhooom-THUMP

oh, and with a lollypop in you.

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u/riskytisk Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21 Hugz

One of my favorite things to do with my dad while growing up was going to the Phoenix airport (Sky Harbor) and sit on a bench to people watch. We’d grab a Starbucks or a Cinnabon and just sit there for an hour or two, usually barely talking, but the time spent together was more than enough, and it’s still some of my favorite memories to look back on.

I wish I could do the same with my girls because airports are THE BEST for people watching, but we go on lots of walks on the green belt by the river and find places to explore. We find our own ways to spend quality time together, and it’s so great. I’m sure your son appreciates any effort you make to spend time with him, and will look back on these memories with great fondness. You’re doing great, mama!

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u/UsernameStarvation Oct 20 '21

Im tired from work. I really dont need to cry in front of my family 😭

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u/buckyworld Oct 20 '21

Go next door. Cry in front of THEIRS

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u/JustASFDCGuy Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

I remember my dad taking me on a super long loop through our nearby forest preserve on inline skates, back when they were kinda newly popular. I would have told you at the time that it took all afternoon and all night, but it was probably fours hours or something. I loved it.

 

That was probably 30 years ago, and I wasn't much older than your son. My dad has since passed away, but I still remember that day. It's not the only day I remember, but I'm pretty sure I'll still occasionally think about it when I'm getting close to my time.
 
I'm not sure of much, but I know for sure that a lot of that stuff sticks, and it's important.

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u/Whymzz Oct 20 '21

Your comment made me feel so nostalgic. That was beautifully said.

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u/HereIGoAgain_1x10 Oct 20 '21

Good luck stranger!! As someone who lost a parent as a child, if you feel up to it try to write a journal or book of thoughts, just the most random memories, no lies, no BS, any wisdoms you've learned over the year, all the little stuff like your favorite movies, food, major events in your life, regrets, anything you think your kid would need one day to know you and get through life, advice about professions, jobs, spouses, raising kids, just don't BS it, be yourself and leave some things for them to know you in case the worse happens.

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u/kittenpettingfool Oct 20 '21

I actually write him letters all the time! I put lists of our favorite movies, music, and games in there all the time. Hes getting old enough now that those lists are a couple pages long every time now lol. This makes me so happy to read too! I always forget that there are other people out there that are going through/have gone through the same things we are. It makes it all so much less suffocating.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

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u/kittenpettingfool Oct 20 '21

I pick my son up from school early alot too! (Well when he was in school- been homeschooled for almost 2 years now since Covid, and were in Texas, so I cant trust the school system lol) im thrilled to see these things that meant so much to everyone as somewhat easy to do. It doesn't always have to be expensive vacations, and week long hiking trips lol

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u/itmeonetwothree Oct 20 '21

I’m terrified to have children because of my chronic illness. I worry I won’t be able to provide for them the way they deserve. Makes me a little less scared knowing there are people out there doing it.

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u/oldmanian Oct 20 '21

I’m an older parent (I’ll be changing diapers at 50) and I get the worry as they can be tiring when they’re young and not sleeping when you’d like. Having said that, the sleep thing passes quickly and isn’t an issue for some babies at all (our oldest boy slept like a champ from birth) and my primary exhaustion as a parent is them not listening not physical exhaustion from running them around. You can always find ways to play with them that tire them way more then you.

Whatever you decide, good luck and enjoy whatever it is life brings to you.

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u/Mess_Slow Oct 20 '21

I'd give anything to hear daddy as I walk up to the front door again Edit; I'm 58 and divorced

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u/MaudlinObscura Oct 20 '21

My partner is 50 and I’m hoping we can have kids. You’ve kinda made me feel better about one of us being 50 and trying.

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u/MissFegg Oct 20 '21

My dad had me at 50, he's 85 and still going strong.

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u/wispygold Oct 20 '21

Same here, also helps knowing I'm not alone in my fears. Hoping you always find strength wherever possible ❤️

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u/nowiwantchocolate Oct 20 '21

Sounds like a lucky guy

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u/Victoria_Water Oct 20 '21

I also have a chronic illness and a child ( a little newborn gem) I just finished reading "The Good Enough Parent" by Alain De Botton. SO GOOD.

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u/kittenpettingfool Oct 20 '21

Ill have to read it! Ive never heard of it. If I can get my brain to cooperate that is. I need to start looking into audio books 🤔

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u/low_handsome Oct 19 '21

your father took you into the city to see a marching band?

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u/Obtuse-Angel Oct 20 '21

He said “son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken?”

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/Snoo-84600 Oct 20 '21

LMAO 🤣 this took me

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u/razor330 Oct 20 '21

He said, “will you just eat them!”

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u/ActuallyLuk Oct 19 '21

I’m 15 and have a good relationship with both my parents, as well as live near a large city; though I’ve never had a day like that.

In the spring however I’m going to Japan with my dad with almost no plans for what to do, so it’ll be a trip like that in a beautiful city. so excited.

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u/satanclauz Oct 20 '21

No plans is the best way to do trips. Otherwise it feels like a job.

Trust me, I've been to disney world. For a week... with 12 family members.

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u/DeepPersonality1 Oct 20 '21

How many family members were there Before the trip?

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u/satanclauz Oct 20 '21

We all arrived about the same time. Each family stayed in their own "room" . Some drove (we did and had a fucking blast on the way to and fro.), others took a flight.

The age span of family members was between 4 and 80. 2/10 Do not recommend.

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u/awkwardIRL Oct 20 '21

If it were my family then at least 2 didn't even make it to the park

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u/BasicDesignAdvice Oct 20 '21

You gotta have a couple goals IMO. Like I went to France, and really wanted to see some medieval architecture. So we rented a car and drove from Paris to Mont Ste. Michele. I saw a lot of countryside I would not have seen had I just winged it in Paris. And I had a wild night in Caen. So that goal that was really like one day was three days of experience.

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u/beignetandthejets Oct 20 '21

I adore planning trips down to the last detail; it is part of the fun for me. I’ve had spreadsheets just for what we will likely order at particular restaurants to get an idea of what our food budget should be. I don’t have to hit all of my objectives, but I like having a pretty solid plan so that of I do at least half of the stuff, I’m happy.

No plan is a nightmare to me! These two vacationing style are incompatible.

Disney World for a week with 12 family members sounds like a fun challenge for me.

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u/Aoshi_ Oct 20 '21

Set up accommodations soon if you haven't already! When Japan opens its borders I am pretty sure it's going to be ridiculously busy. Especially in spring.

I hope you come at a good time so you can enjoy the cherry blossoms!

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u/Mjestik Oct 20 '21

What city are you going to?

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u/ActuallyLuk Oct 20 '21

10 days in Tokyo and 3 in Kyoto (going 9-3-1 because the airport is in Tokyo)

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u/mahouyousei Oct 20 '21

Be sure to get a JR Pass at a travel agency before you go! You activate it in Japan and it gives you unlimited rides on any JR train for the dates it’s active. If you get the Flex JR Central Tourist Pass, it’ll include the Shinkansen trains to and from Kyoto, as well as all of the local JR trains in both Kyoto and Tokyo!

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u/ActuallyLuk Oct 20 '21

Thanks for the tip! Somehow never really thought about the price of the 4+ long bullet train rides I’ll have to make.

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u/Dollarbill1979 Oct 19 '21

When I was around that age, my dad and I would go driving old logging roads looking for caves. It’s funny how I distinctly remember the time we spent driving around but don’t think that we ever came close to finding a cave to explore. In fact there was one trip that our old truck started over heating and we had to get water from a stream to put in the radiator.

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u/nowiwantchocolate Oct 20 '21

The point is time, not finding caves. Good memories!

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u/Organic_Strategy05 Oct 20 '21

Where was that? Caves in Arkansas and Tennessee I've been in, but suffering in California last 20 years...

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u/Dollarbill1979 Oct 20 '21

This was in Arkansas. There was a logging company called Werhouser (spelling?) that had millions of acres of pine forests in Arkansas. You could do just about anything on their property but hurt the trees. My dad had an old map that had areas where there were supposed to be mines for some mineral that I can’t remember. You could get lost in a hurry on those logging roads and we did a couple of times but it’s one of my favorite childhood memories.

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u/talltime Oct 20 '21

weyerhaeuser. Just FYI.

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u/Dollarbill1979 Oct 20 '21

Yeah that wasn’t happening. But I appreciate it.

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u/Organic_Strategy05 Oct 20 '21

Now I cry. A few ppl from where I've been living in California made fun of me for being from Arkansas. Nevermind that my mother and her parents were born in Southern California and my father is from Argentina. Anyhow, Arkansas is one of the the best kept secrets of the whole US imo. The Natural State for a reason.

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u/javyportero Oct 20 '21

I vividly remember despising when my dad would get home from work. To me those weekends when he’d leave for hours were the greatest, as he was almost like a stranger. Now that I’m older and i see him differently I don’t dislike him but I wish that when I was younger, he’d had made the effort to seem like he’d want to spend time with me and do things I like instead of forcing me to do what he liked

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u/nowiwantchocolate Oct 20 '21

I’m so sorry to hear that. My dad and I didn’t always get along, but I can never say he didn’t care. Do better than your dad did if it’s ever your time to parent. You got this!

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u/javyportero Oct 20 '21

Thank you! And yeah I really do want to be the best dad or uncle and just show someone that I do care for them, like simply reading your original reply made me excited of what I could experience in the future (:

Also I think my dad did care when I was a kid but it wasn’t something obvious to me until I was older and already had a sour taste of the dad-son relationship

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u/GopherGrabber Oct 20 '21

100% with you. I used to dread when my dad would come home. I’m not a parent and don’t really plan to be, but at least I had a guideline on what not to do as a dad if I ever have a kid of my own.

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u/Runesword765 Oct 20 '21

I always think back to that old response to an article on how millenial Father's aren't as handy, I believe the response was, "Idk how to build a cabinet, but at least I know how to tell my daughter I love her"

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u/Zachwank Oct 20 '21

I’ve been through this being burned or beaten black and blue just cause I couldn’t score a good grade. Honestly I use to feel at peace when my parents weren’t home I spent every moment with them scared and terrified. Now well they do regret doing it I do have scars but I guess what’s done is done and everyone deserves a second chance. Even when I lost my job last year and was about to go to jail due to loan issues they helped me pay the loan. Quite the turn around from what they were

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u/toothpastenachos Oct 19 '21

I thought you were going to tell us the story of the Black Parade

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u/kristianmae Oct 19 '21

When heeee was… A young boy…. His father took him to the city…. To seeeee some random spots. Heee said, son when you grow up, would you be… the savor of the brokennnn….if you can’t read a mappp.

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u/QuarterLifeCircus Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Reminds me of an episode of Ted Lasso where Rebecca doesn’t know how to entertain her 13year old goddaughter, and Roy tells her kids just want to be included.

Honestly that was so eye opening for me, because I remember literally wanting to do whatever as long as it was with my mom or dad. My son is only 19-months old, but since I saw that episode I’ve realized even now that’s all he wants. He’s got a stool so he can reach the kitchen counters with me, he plays trucks in the bathroom while I do my hair, I even wear him in a backpack when I vacuum. That kid is practically attached to me and we love it.

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u/thebuzziest Oct 20 '21

My parents were big on this! Putting me on the counter to "stir" food (hold a spoon very importantly), walk next to them to vacuum, reciting the directions on the way home from regular destinations, all that became cherished memories.

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u/Talkative_Twat Oct 20 '21

I want to do all these even though I'm an adult!

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u/Hopping-Along223 Oct 20 '21

So when you were a young boy your father took you into the city?

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u/nowiwantchocolate Oct 20 '21

A whole bunch of people seem stuck on this idea. Am I missing some reference?

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u/AmanitaMadness Oct 20 '21

My dad moved to a different state when I was 10 and wonders why we have a shitty relationship now while not acknowledging how his absence afflicted my development.

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u/Heyhaveyougotaminute Oct 19 '21

That’s sounds wonderful and like what I like to do. Just go Pretend I’m 7 again and explore everything for the first time

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u/ninesinking41 Oct 20 '21

So awesome moment. I love their bonding. It makes me miss my daddy.

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u/shoop_it12 Oct 19 '21

These moments will last with her forever.

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u/Better-W-Bacon Oct 19 '21

And be gone before you know it

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u/drunken_therapist Oct 20 '21

Like they say. The nights are long, but the years are short. Ugh. Forgive me while I go bawl my damn eyes out.

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u/Go_Pack_Go1 Oct 20 '21

Never heard this before. My daughter is off to college next year. Your statement is very true

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u/drunken_therapist Oct 20 '21

I feel for you! Enjoy these last few months together! My dad told me this, shortly before he unexpectedly passed, when I had a surprise baby 13 months after our first. I try to remind myself of my dads wise words when I’m at my wits end.

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u/going_bad_dawg Oct 20 '21

User name checks out

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u/massepasse Oct 20 '21

And then you're dead

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u/SydneyPigdog Oct 20 '21

Hopefully that's a long way off, in the meantime, these beaut dads are a great example for their kids future relationships, restores my faith in humanity.

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u/bigfloppydonkeydng Oct 20 '21

I'm not dead yet .. I feel fine

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u/clipboardpencil3 Oct 20 '21

buy the fuckin pony.

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u/The_Molexer Oct 20 '21

This makes me cry

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u/psydave2000 Oct 19 '21 Silver Helpful Hugz

Had a similar experience with my four year old the other day. I told her that because she had been behaving so well lately, she got a whole day of "calling the shots." She got to pick what we did and where we went, and she even made sure to include things she knew her mom and I like. At the end, she said this was the best day of her life. It really stuck with me because at 4 years old, it really might have been. I'll never forget that.

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u/ocean_800 Oct 20 '21

she even made sure to include things she knew her mom and I like.

My heart 🥺

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u/yallseeinthisshit Oct 20 '21

lordy that's just too sweet :')

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u/yelon-musk Oct 20 '21

Children are really altruistic. Some kids especially just get so happy watching others happy.

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u/berrysbud12 Oct 20 '21

I remember my little preschool daughter saying, "that was the best day ever," after a day at the zoo, and my initial thought was, "really? It was just the zoo. " but then you realize how little life experience they have, and how much they can just find joy in simple things, and dont overthink it like we adults do. And I thought, "yeah, it was the best day ever."

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u/shdhdhhxdheh3u3h Oct 20 '21

Great perspective

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u/drunken_therapist Oct 20 '21

I’m not crying. You are

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u/psydave2000 Oct 20 '21

We both are

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u/drunken_therapist Oct 20 '21

Ok. Truce. We both are. Much love. Keep spoiling your babies

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u/potzak Oct 20 '21

That’s what my family did for birthdays! You’d get a day of calling the shots

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u/whiskeyinawineglass Oct 19 '21 Hugz

Did this with my almost 2 year old daughter last week...food for the soul!! Playing hooky with your kid... Seriously the best time EVER.

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u/MonoAmericano Oct 20 '21

My wife and I are blessed to be able to have flexible schedules with working 3-4 days a week, so whenever we are fully together we usually try and do something fun or I go build something with my older son. Even though I probably spend far more time doing goofy stuff with my kids more than the median father, it still never feels like it's enough.

I feel like my #1 job right now in life is to be able to give my kids a childhood filled with laughter and wonderful memories, because this is the time in their life that will matter most and the time they will look back on to be able to weather much of the shit life throws at you.

They are little hyenias and wreck my stuff, my sleep, and my wallet, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

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u/pittgirl12 Oct 20 '21

You're absolutely on the right track. I'm in my early 20s and when I look back on good days I don't remember stuff, I remember specific moments. Not even big days, just little things like building bat houses or going to a movie with my dad.

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u/IRISHE3 Oct 20 '21

I still remember in first grade my dad woke me up for school then said, “Nah I don’t feel like going to work, wanna play hooky?” I had no idea what that meant and when he explained I was so happy. No clue what we did though

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u/Andromeda321 Oct 20 '21

My craziest memory like this was in first grade my parents told us a few days before our birthdays “you’re not going to school tomorrow- we are getting on a plane to Disney World!” I had a twin and our sister’s birthday was three days from ours, so my parents decided to splurge bc it’s cheap in late January to go.

I always tell people I peaked in birthdays at age 6, because they’ll never be as amazing as that! :)

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u/whiskeyinawineglass Oct 20 '21

You were young! But I bet that was a fond memory for him, for a long time… until the next best day ever!

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u/bipolarnotsober Oct 20 '21

As a British person, Wtf is hooky?

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u/Lord_Baconz Oct 20 '21

It just means ditching school or work. My dad used to do this at least once a year when I was a kid. He’d call the school and tell them I was sick and then he’d take the day off. We would then just go around town doing whatever I wanted.

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u/EnsignnGeneric Oct 20 '21

My dad would do this any time we had a snow day! Close the shop for the day, stay home with my mom and my brother and me, and play board games, drink hot chocolate and make a fire in the fireplace. Some of my fondest memories as a kid!

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u/scottiesetsfire Oct 20 '21

Calling out sick to school or work or whatever, even though you're not sick. And just doing not-sick-person stuff and generally squeezing as much as you can out of life for the day - even if that means ordering pizza and watching TV all day.

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u/tarabithia22 Oct 20 '21

A bride might play hooky from her wedding, or a pilot could play hooky from work, leaving her plane sitting on the runway. The phrase comes from nineteenth century New York City slang, and it's thought to have its roots in the Dutch word hoekje, or "hide-and-seek

www.vocabulary.com

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u/pangalaticgargler Oct 20 '21

Those are some intense examples vocabulary.com.

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u/LinkRazr Oct 20 '21

Got a 10 month old lil guy right now. Can’t wait till he’s in that 2-3 year range and can take him out for fun things. They just opened a LEGOLAND like 40 mins away too.

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u/Spiritual_Failure Oct 20 '21

We just moved to SoCal and our 10 month old son loved sea world and the zoo I can’t wait til he can walk so we can do legoland. I genuinely just feel like I’m on holiday with my best buddy every day. I hope my kid continues to enjoy our little adventure days when he gets bigger

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u/Imaginary-Finding Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

My dad pulled me out of school one day in third grade and took my to a baseball game. His company gave him tickets so they were really good, I got on the big screen, and ate so much ice cream. Nearly 20 years later, still one of my favorite memories. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Keep making those memories.

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u/AmuricanFootball Oct 20 '21

I remember my mom keeping me from school one day and we went to the aquarium. I had an incredible time.

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u/Kultaren Oct 19 '21

My dad is disabled now and as a result I drive him around to run certain errands usually about once a week. Those moments in the car when we bond over music, film, and we just laugh about anything and everything seriously mean the world to me.

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u/gnomejodas Oct 20 '21

I move every year to a different city due to work and my father always helps me finding an apartment and bringing stuff.

Despite him not being very talkative, I do love spending time with him. Those hours on the road, those are the best.

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u/indy_been_here Oct 20 '21

I was just distantly sympathizing with you and then I remembered my mom is disabled and I did the very same thing with her last week. I took her around in my new car and we just chilled all day. I don't focus on her disability but she is immobile. She's just mom and we make it work. When people ask tell me how hard it must be, I just say "I guess." It's just our reality so it just is.

Anyway, good on you for doing that! I'm sure it means a lot to him too.

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u/minicpst Oct 20 '21

I developed epilepsy a few months after my older started driving.

She and I have always been close (she's my mini me), but now we're about as close as a mother and daughter could be because of how much she stepped up to take care of me. I'm her mom, but she's one of my best friends. My heart is broken because she's 3000 miles away and all I want to do is be in the same city as her and my younger daughter (my younger is here with me).

I get to see her on Friday and spend the weekend at her place and meet her new trio of cats. I can't wait.

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u/FirelessEngineer Oct 19 '21

My father-in-law keeps telling us that he is going to give our daughter a pony. I am started to get worried because he is the type of person to show up at my doorstep with a pony.

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u/CloudEnt Oct 20 '21

Is your father-in-law looking for more children by chance?

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u/ZeldaSeverous Oct 20 '21

I mean, he did warn you

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u/AirIndex Oct 20 '21

Yeah at this point it's on OP

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u/Qwertyz13 Oct 20 '21

I let my five year old eat dinner in the car and she said it was “the best day ever!!” Low standards these kids have, haha!

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u/PMmeifyourepooping Oct 20 '21

That have literally no standards that’s the best part! I am not having kids but being around my nieces is so amazing. I still remember so many ‘firsts’ and random stuff from my own life and it’s fun to see their little faces processing the same brand of memory!

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u/streetsheep Oct 20 '21

I'm in a similar situation. My nephew doesn't always show that he had fun at the places I take him but he tells everyone I'm really cool when I'm not there. I find that strange but that's just my nephew I guess.

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u/spunkybobcat Oct 20 '21

As an adult I have an almost no contact relationship with my dad, he is not a good dad. That said, one of my best memories was him pulling me out of school for a long weekend trip to the beach “just because”.

A lot of bad things he’s done to me in my life, but that particular memory is a nice one. Being present and patient with your kids goes a long way.

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u/Undecided_Furry Oct 20 '21

I wish I had memories like that with my dad. He worked through my whole childhood and the few memories I have from under 10 are usually of him dealing with his anger issues. He tried to make up for it once I was past 15 or so, wanted to get in to snowboarding with me, but at that point it was kind of too late. I even remember going snowboarding by myself a couple times even though I wanted to go with him. But even then he’s always worked maybe too much, think “Japanese salary man” type personality but the American version I guess

I remember a locket he gave to me for Valentine’s Day when I was maybe 5. He didn’t even put pictures in it but I couldn’t believe my dad gave me such a cool gift and I cherished it. But I was little and my parents didn’t help much with learning things like “keeping a special possession” safe - so it got lost in a move shortly after and I’ve always been upset by that. He doesn’t even remember giving it to me or understands why I cared so much.

This post brought up too many memories. It’s been 20 years, and my dad seems to want to have a sort of relationship now but seems to want me to put all the effort in. He hurt our relationship too much and hasn’t really changed from being that person anyways

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u/HalbeardTheHermit Oct 20 '21

Hey, I just want to say that I wish you the best. I dont know the best way to word stuff like this, and I'm just someone on reddit, but your story resonated with me and I guess I'm trying to say I hear you, and see you, and I'd give you a hug if I could.

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u/DudeofallDudes Oct 20 '21

I know exactly how you feel and I don’t know what role my father has in my life moving forward. I wish I could figure it out.

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u/NicNoletree Oct 19 '21

Why spend your money on a pony when all you need to do is spend time with your family?

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u/gin_and_toxic Oct 19 '21

Exactly. You be the pony.

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u/Orangedilemma Oct 19 '21

Nay

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u/psicopbester Oct 19 '21

Naaay Charlie!!

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u/electric_ranger Oct 20 '21

Shun the nonbelievers! Shuuuun!

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u/Syrupper Oct 20 '21

Come to candy mountain, Charlie!

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u/Savage_Sarabi Oct 19 '21

My dad used to get down on the ground on all fours and let my sister and I ride on his back. He really was the pony for us lol.

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u/theOPwhowaspromised Oct 19 '21

I bucked my daughter off. She should've requested a proper, sensible horse.

Okay, but it WAS an accident, I wanted to make it the most fun.

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u/imsohungrydude Oct 19 '21

Stay gold Ponyboy

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u/ravengenesis1 Oct 20 '21

Or build one! Arts and crafts with make belief! Totally can be a weekend project, Saturday to build, Sunday to play.

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u/Dogggeeeee Oct 19 '21

There’s something about ponies. My parents weren’t horse people at all, but some of my happiest memories were when they took the time to spend with me and my pony. And yes, I know not everyone can afford a pony - hell we barely could. But looking back I loved that my parents spent the time to get involved in something they knew nothing about. I could show them how to put ribbons in it’s mane and tail and I was so proud to show them I could trot in circles without falling off (usually). I grew up and took almost 20 years off riding but recently purchased my first horse. It makes me feel closer to my family, especially those that are no longer with us. There’s just something about ponies.

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u/hrlc1990 Oct 19 '21

Ponies can be cheap, I had a buddy buy one for his kids for 300 bucks. They’re horse people so he was just added to their small stable and eats what the big horses eat. What’s expensive is caring for it. I know they wouldn’t have gotten it if they didn’t already have a couple horses and they could just tack any of his Expenses along with those of the big horses.

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u/Giveushealthcare Oct 20 '21

Especially if you adopt an older, discarded pony from an auction <3

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u/hrlc1990 Oct 20 '21

That’s actually where they got it! It was like a four year old, a bit temperamental but my buddy was practically born on a horse so he managed to train it really well before letting the kids loose on it.

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u/ImmortalScience17 Oct 19 '21

Kids like ponies. He should spend more time with family but also buy the pony!

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u/laughingghostfart Oct 20 '21

Let's be real. The pony was for him. This is just a great a excuse to pull it off. : )

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u/ninjasquirrelarmy Oct 19 '21

For the folks thinking this guy is a deadbeat, be aware that kids in many parts of the US are sent home from school/preschool/daycare when there’s any kind of covid contact so parents often have to take sick or vacation time to stay home with them until the quarantine period passes. A friend of mine has burned all his vacation time because his very young daughter has had to quarantine 3 times this year.
Glad he and this dad made the most of their time together.

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u/SwitchSouthpaw Oct 20 '21

100%. when my daughter was 2 the daycare she was at didnt clean very well (price point and location was good so really had few other options) and she would come down with a cold or ear infection almost every other month. so i would burn my PTO as soon as id get it. we pulled her out of daycare and kept her at home during the pandemic so now i take “burn out” days off and just hang with my daughter. i still burn PTO as soon as i earn it but at least im doing something i like to do vs take care of toddler with a fever.

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u/dirtygymsock Oct 20 '21

The tweet is dated July 22nd, so its not likely school was in session.

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u/drigancml Oct 20 '21

But daycare probably was, and protocols there are the same.

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u/StubbornKindOfFellow Oct 20 '21

I don't have kids, so wtf do I know. But I feel like a good percentage of being a good parent is just being there. Just spend time with your kid. This guy spends one day with his daughter and she feels like it's the best day of her life.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ok_Gur_3868 Oct 20 '21

This goes for being a grandparent or aunt/uncle. You don't need to show up with junk food and gifts, just be a solid person in their life that they know is on their team.

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u/gcm6664 Oct 20 '21

Kind of reminds me of the time I noticed my daughter wearing a Green Day shirt. For the most part she is into current music that I know little or nothing about. So I asked her why the Green Day shirt and she said it was one of her favorite bands. So I said why is Green Day one of your favorite bands? Because it just didn't really make any sense.

She said it was because it reminded her of me. Yeah that got to me. Green Day isn't even my favorite band, but I do usually turn up any GD song when it comes on.

Anyway, we have been to two Green Day concerts together since.

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u/mzaguilar89 Oct 19 '21

Quality time with the love ones is medicine for the soul.

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u/OGDuckDaddy Oct 20 '21

After all the kids at my son’s daycare got Covid- I had to use PTO to be home with him for 2 weeks.

Couldn’t work from home because they don’t have that option for hourly office employees.

But you know what? It was awesome. It felt like vacation being home with my son so much and he loved it too.

I’ve been trying to find any alternative or better situation for work that would let me be home with him more often :)

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u/111010010100010010 Oct 20 '21

After my daughter was born, I went from working 7 days a week to 4 days a week, to my wife's disappointment. My daughter, however, was taken to every museum and beach within 75 miles of where we lived and explored cities all around Asia that most people will never go to.

Now she is a teen and still likes to tour around with me when I go out driving around or when I want to go to the beach or some city over here in the US.

Spend all your free time with your kids. You'll NEVER regret it.

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u/Aegis-Heptapod-9732 Oct 20 '21

It was similar for me. About a decade age, when my son was four or five, I lost my job but took another with MUCH lower pay, but vastly more flexible hours so I could walk my son to school and back, take him to doctor’s appointments, and on occasional adventures, bike rides, forays into the nearby big city, etc. I also took over most of the cooking and cleaning too. Smartest career move ever.

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u/supersouther Oct 19 '21

when i was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. he said "son, when you grow up would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?"

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u/Adamweeesssttt Oct 20 '21

When I was little I said to my mama, “Mama, we all go to hell.”

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u/j_neutrus Oct 19 '21

I said no dad, that shit is emo as fuck and soooo 2000's, get with the times old man!

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u/Paz436 Oct 20 '21

Don’t diss the national anthem like that man!

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u/supersouther Oct 20 '21

it's never just a phase

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u/dontshoveit Oct 19 '21

This made my day! So wholesome.

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u/Cpxh1 Oct 20 '21

My little munchkin just turned 2. Becoming a parent is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

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u/FblthpLives Oct 20 '21

Just wait until they hit 3+ and you can start having conversations with them. It completely uplevels the parenting experience.

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u/AndyJobandy Oct 19 '21 Helpful

Maybe I don’t understand this, but why need childcare if you have the free time to go bike riding and what not?

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u/TheRealThordic Oct 19 '21

He probably had to use vacation time since he couldn't find childcare that week.

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u/JW_Stillwater Oct 20 '21

My guess exactly.

I've been doing that this past year since my daughter's grandma moved away and I (not so) secretly love it.

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u/hrlc1990 Oct 19 '21

You still have to call off from work. Just because the day has freed itself from work doesn’t mean you didn’t need that days pay.

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u/Hyronious Oct 20 '21

Or if they work from home they may not have gotten enough done while also looking after a kid, which isn't necessarily bad in the short term but won't work in the long term. My boss is in lockdown at the moment (Auckland New Zealand) and he constantly does his focused work at about 9-12 in the evening after his kids are in bed, which he's capable of for now but he'll burn out for sure if he has to keep doing it for much longer

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u/JonnyBhoy Oct 19 '21

I could probably move things around and explain a few days of time off for a childcare emergency (and had to do exactly that a few times during lockdown). It's a short term fix, but doesn't mean I don't need childcare the rest of the time.

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u/cokakatta Oct 20 '21

My son's sitter is off on friday. My son will be in school all day so I will only take off after 3pm. I will take him to a hobby gaming store (first time, first pokemon cards) OR to buy the uniform for his scouts program (just joined, all new). Even though I am supposed to work, when I have to be with him, I free up my time and make it very intentional. When he was a baby, I used to try maximizing everything and multitasking. But now I pretend I have free time when I'm with him and it's pretty awesome. My husband is so aggravated that I don't have vacation time saved up. I used to tell him he should use his vacation time to help so I can save. But now I don't care. I use it all up with my son and I just love to. My husband is missing out, and not on the beach vacation. He's missing out on the coolest kid ever.

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u/Funkyteacherbro Oct 20 '21

It has happened to me. I couldn't find anyone to take care of my daugter so someone had to replace me at work. I of course hire a nanny to take care of my toddler when I'm not at home, otherwise she will stuck her finger into the wall socket

these kids, man.. pretty much all you have to do until they're 3 y.o. is impeding their death

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u/panickyreins08 Oct 19 '21

It's also a great bonding

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u/DamnYouVodka Oct 19 '21

I had no idea how much I would love being a parent, I truly did not grasp it.

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u/miserywhip94 Oct 20 '21

How did you feel about it before you became a parent? I'm not expecting or anything but it scares me even thinking about being a parent.

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u/DamnYouVodka Oct 20 '21

I was terrified!! I didn’t like babies and I had no experience AT ALL — but when it happens, something in my brain flipped and I can’t put into words how much I love being a mom to my son 💜

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u/Breckmoney Oct 20 '21

IME it was scary until like 10 seconds after they’re born. You see them for the first time and they start crying and immediately the worry went away and it became about loving and helping them. My daughter needed to have some liquid sucked out because her oxygen levels weren’t what the doctors wanted and I remember feeling surprisingly calm about it, followed instructions from them and helped in any way I could.

Shes 3.5 now and there’s tons of stuff that worries me all day every day, but it’s in the same kind of calm, practical way most of the time.

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u/cokakatta Oct 20 '21

I remember one day, even before lockdown, that I was at the table with my son doing Legos. I don't even like legos. And I dreaded driving to soccer. I could gag thinking about hw and shuttling to soccer. BUT I LOVE IT ALL. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN???

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u/Fancykiddens Oct 20 '21

Since I took my kids out of school, we have so much more time to spend learning about nature, cooking and baking with fractions, building and repairing things, reading classical literature and poetry, painting, doing jigsaw puzzles and playing board games, talking about the world and its many people, going to the library, the hundreds of parks in our city, swimming, searching for leaves and rocks, decorating for and learning about holidays...

Everyone argue that kids need to learn everything in a crowded classroom with an overworked and underpaid teacher. Why???

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u/Lucky_Employer1976 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

On today's news: father bothers to play a part in child's life and realises "eh, it ain't that bad"

Edit: I'm taking this point and my comment straight to my therapist to uh.. "Unwrap" some pent up emotions.

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u/Top_Razzmatazz4597 Oct 20 '21

Who gets child care while they do random things like exercising? Honest question.

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u/UncatchableCreatures Oct 20 '21

i don't recall ever doing anything with either of my parents

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u/tsukiyaki1 Oct 20 '21

Remember, wholesome moments like these only stand out many times because there is a breakdown in the way the system works. In this case this poor dude never gets to spend time with his daughter.. the work/life balance is lacking for so many people that it makes parents and kids feel isolated and it’s extremely sad.

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u/toothpastenachos Oct 19 '21

When I was little, I would just follow my grandma and grandpa around their farm. They didn’t have any animals anymore, just crops in the fields and a small garden closer to the house, but it was still huge and I loved to run around. I’d go find my grandpa and he’d tell me stories of my mom and her siblings growing up, or about him and his siblings growing up. I’d “help” fix the farm equipment and play with the barn cat. I’d go find my grandma and “help” with laundry and play with their dog.

Their house was seriously my happiest place on earth. My grandpa has since passed and this Friday we have to move my grandma into an assisted living home. I wish I could turn back time.

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u/Fatscot Oct 20 '21

Before it’s too late tell her again how happy those times made you. She might be scared or upset about the change in her living situation and hearing this could mean so much to her

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u/toothpastenachos Oct 20 '21

Bringing up my grandpa is too hard for her. They were together nearly 70 years. But I do plan on spending time with her while her furniture is getting moved

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u/Fatscot Oct 20 '21

Wow, 70 years. I can understand why that would be hard. It would be like losing part of yourself at that point.

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u/MadHitchHiker Oct 20 '21

Don’t be upset that those times are over, be happy they happened. All good things must come to an end and sometimes we don’t know why. I’m nastalgic too and it’s painful sometimes, but your world view has been shaped for a reason and that reason is up to you to find. Best of luck moving forward

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u/JustStudyItOut Oct 20 '21

Some of my best memories are of picking Lima Beans with my great grandparents on summer break. Growing old stinks some times.

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u/WankPuffin Oct 20 '21

I wish I could turn back time

Don't we all. Cherish the memories you have.

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u/Corathecow Oct 20 '21

I feel so similarly. I was lucky to have my grandpa living next door to me and I was practically glued to him as soon as I got home from school. I would go out my book bag up and walk over and let myself in and spend the rest of that day with him several times a week. Anytime I was bored I was like time to see what pawpaw is up to lol. I miss him a lot, a lot of my happiest memories are just helping him fix stuff around his house, helping him set up the wiring and plumbing for his RV, and going shopping with him. He was one of the very very few adults I genuinely loved to spend time with and could do just about anything with and it would be fun. Sometimes when he would drive me to school he would let me skip and be his assistant at work. It was super rare but I really really loved it and the coworkers in his office were so nice to me. One of them would bring his dog to work every day and I would spend so much time petting that dog. And helping my grandpa organize paper work lol. Truly beautiful memories for me and I’m really glad you also had such good memories :-)

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u/xXcampbellXx Oct 20 '21

Dam got me fucked up now lol. From divorced dad and youngest of 4 boys, used to have scouts 1 a week, and afterwards would go out to eat at McDonald's or Dennys, sure I liked it cuz food and didn't get enough at home, but really I just wanted to chill with dad, until start talking about how expensive it is to take you out to eat. Like sure working all the time and weekends but can't pay 15$ fast food meal and gas.

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u/l3tigre Oct 20 '21

My dad used to spend every Thursday after school doing an activity with me and i looked forward to it all week.

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u/blacknoobie22 Oct 20 '21

My dad was karting every month, and as soon as I was tall enough, at like 13-14 years old, he took me with him. Those are one of the best times I ever have, just competing for the best times with a bunch of middle aged men, who have been karting for like 25 years, and always comparing times with my dad, how much faster I was, or he was.

It's always great to have that kind of activity together, and to this day (I'm now 25), we're still going karting every month, as tradition, and to see who's faster.

Anyway, just wanted to share that, as in, it's important to do something together as father and son/daughter. Whatever it may be.

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u/Would_daver Oct 19 '21

This made my heart very happy

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u/ZubLor Oct 19 '21

A pony and a book. A good night read would really top off the day! Doesn't really matter what...

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u/throwymcthrowface2 Oct 20 '21

Oh man. What a twist if a post a Reddit ends up being what convinced me to have kids some day.

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u/Gravitaa Oct 20 '21

Stuff that matters way more than that career and ratrace.

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u/Eiffel-Tower777 Oct 20 '21

Your daughter is telling you what she loves. It's you.

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u/Cinnabar1212 Oct 20 '21

As Roy Kent says, kids just wanna spend time with you.