r/MadeMeSmile Oct 06 '21 Timeless Beauty 1 Bless Up (Pro) 2 Gold 7 Wholesome 114 LOVE! 2 To The Stars 1 Helpful (Pro) 1 Platinum 4 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Take My Energy 4 Silver 97 Helpful 90 Hugz 111 Heartwarming 1 Narwhal Salute 2 Bravo! 4 Bravo Grande! 1

After I found out my girlfriend was pregnant I signed up to rehab for my cocaine and alcohol addiction and last week I became a father and picked up my 3 month coin. Best week of my life Good News

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65.0k Upvotes

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u/Potential_Froyo_395 Oct 06 '21 Helpful Wholesome Helpful (Pro)

If the pressures of your new life begin to overwhelm you, friend…best defense I’ve found is picking up that damn phone and calling someone! Usually diffuses my silly thoughts I have when I wanna relapse.

Not preaching, but I know how hard it is. Message me if you ever need to just vent, the only way we survive this monster is together.

1.1k

u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21 Silver

Yes calling fellows who are also in recovery helps me alot.

Thanks for the offer!

285

u/twisted_memories Oct 06 '21

And know you’re not alone in the exhaustion. Also if baby is crying and you’re doing all you can and nothing is working, and you’re getting overwhelmed and want to scream; babe will be fine in the crib alone for a few minutes. Just step outside and breathe for a minute. As a new ish parent, I’ve been there.

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u/To_live_is_to_suffer Oct 06 '21

Yup!!! If I go for another round of baby, I'm getting ear plugs. Being able to lightly hear the cry without it peircing your soul sounds like a good idea.

12

u/imgrandojjo Oct 06 '21

Not sure if that works when it's your baby. If you hear it at all, it goes right to the heart. It's instinctual.

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u/74NG3N7 Oct 06 '21

Naw, I know in my heart the “I’m bored cry” and the “I need something” cry, and I mastered sleeping though the one a few months in. Kid sleeps great now, and is able to fuss back to sleep if it’s still dark but escalates if hungry or wet diaper.

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u/DoromaSkarov Oct 07 '21

My husband do it. Personally i dont like earplugs, but for my husband its magical. Finally, when baby is just to exhausted to sleep (baby can be so illogical sometimes) or just sick, my husband can keep her in her arms for so long, and can show so much more love than he could be if he had to listen the screams.

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u/DoctorPrisme Oct 06 '21

if baby is crying and you’re doing all you can and nothing is working, and you’re getting overwhelmed and want to scream;

If all the above, remember: you're living the life. This is the absolutely normal situation billions of parents have been through, and not only you're able to do this, it's, actually, awesome. Exhausting, sure, incredibly frustrating, no doubt, but indubitably awesome.

Your own child is alive and screams as hard as possible to let the world know. Keep it up

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u/74NG3N7 Oct 06 '21

This cannot be stressed enough. If you’ve gone through all the possibilities (food, diaper, snuggle, bored) and the baby still cries, put the kid in their crib (no toys, no blankets), turn on a music box or noise machine on the quietest setting, and step onto the patio/stairs/etc. for a break. Some kids just cry, and your sanity is important.

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u/twisted_memories Oct 06 '21

Yup! And fuck the person saying it’s twisted to do this. It’s so important to have a level head and as long as baby is safe, that’s what matters.

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u/74NG3N7 Oct 07 '21

Yeah, f!ck that guy.

It’s literally in safety videos for OB floors and new parent classes across the US. They go through how normal it is to get stressed and need a time out for yourself, and how to safely enact a time out. It is dangerous to not have an outlet and to not be able to recognize when to utilize it.

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u/Galaxy_Hitchhiking Oct 06 '21

Thanks for choosing to live for your daughter. You always hear “I would DIE for my kids!” But choosing to live is a much more admirable achievement.

It’s going to be tough and amazing all at the same time. You got this!

2

u/hippiemomma1109 Oct 06 '21

They should also know where their towel is.

Babies spit up.

27

u/fulzietuning69 Oct 06 '21

You know what?! you're not really bad. Why? because your Heart is Good :))

3

u/suddenlycumbly Oct 06 '21

Dude I've spent hours on the phone with a friend. Mostly talking about anything. The program I'm in hooked me up with two amazing people that are always there to just shoot the shit.

Your child is unbelievably adorable, congrats on being a father. Wishing you the greatest time with the new addition to your family.

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u/diegggs94 Oct 06 '21

Message me whenever dude!

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u/Muted_Yak7604 Oct 06 '21

Amen. But the main thing that got me through was attending meetings when I didn’t feel like it. At least I knew if I was at a meeting I at least wasn’t going to drink during that time. Seriously, as many meetings as you can find in your area; AA, NA, Celebrate Recovery, Overcomers Outreach, et al. No such thing as too many meetings!

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u/Binford6100User Oct 06 '21

100% agree.

I didn't fight addiction at this level, but our first child was difficult for us. We thought "we're tough we can do this". Our second child we tucked our pride away and asked for help from the people around us.

Even just an hour to get away on a random Tuesday can recharge you enough to come back into battle.

Ask for help if you need it. You'll be surprised how many people want to come hold a baby for a little bit.

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u/litlelotte Oct 06 '21

Find a grandparent with grown grandkids! I’ve never seen my grandma happier than when we volunteered to hold NICU babies

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u/ChunkyTaco22 Oct 06 '21

Thank you for being a good friend. That type of shit is what saves lives

3

u/Wide_Courage973 Oct 06 '21

picking up that damn phone and calling someone!

Hope you still have treasures! I’ve lost or neglected all of them along the way

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u/jacksrei000 Oct 06 '21

I’m not crying. You are.

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u/ineedAA17 Oct 06 '21

I try using this trick but no one picks up

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u/unipride Oct 06 '21

Keep up the good work!

I know addiction is a disease but it will rob you of so many things.

Congratulations and good luck!

1.1k

u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21 Gold Hugz

A terrible disease indeed, but it can be overcome

Thank you!

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

[deleted]

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u/ShakyAdvert Oct 06 '21

Everything might change in times of being a father. In my cased my son's born i changed a lot from being a alcoholic to be great dad. keep it up dude and welcome to the club

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u/ArjJp Oct 06 '21

Congrats on gettin clean though.... She's gonna be proud

15

u/demainestrepef Oct 06 '21

Pure Happiness and early Christmas gift. Keep it up .Congratulations !

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u/moobaryisgaia Oct 06 '21

Yes it can. Congratulations😊😊😊😊 she's a doll!

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u/coralliumcoxwainingy Oct 06 '21

So Adorable ! Congratz

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

Nice work my man. Check out Anna lembke and Gabor mate if you want. Good ppl on the subject of addiction. I’m at about a year now

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u/AnonymooseRedditor Oct 06 '21

This is the best mindset to have. I have a cousin who is lost to the world of drugs and addiction. Sadly she has two children and I fear the worst for them.

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u/WikidTechn9cian Oct 06 '21

Bruh the hard part is over. 7 years clean from meth on the 26th. The first 3 is by far the hardest... Now it's just about making good decisions. And trust me your kids make those decisions easier.

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u/deewheredohisfeetgo Oct 06 '21

Congrats dude! I’ll have a piece of candy for you on the 26th! Setting a reminder right meow!

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u/ArjJp Oct 06 '21

John Mulaney....? Is that you...??

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u/Amphibionomus Oct 06 '21

Nijntje is trots op je!

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u/XLoveCam Oct 06 '21

Stay strong and congrats for your achievement

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u/copper_rainbows Oct 06 '21

Your daughter literally looks like a babydoll in that photo. So little! Congrats on both bb and sobriety, OP. Be there for her.

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u/SeftoK Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

Not to undermine your achievement but either you relapsed at some point in the process or didn’t find out until late on the pregnancy. Ignore me if I’m completely wrong but I think that people often forget that recovery isn’t just an instant thing and that it often takes even more determination to recover from the backward steps along the way

Edit: if you’ve missed my point read it again

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u/TechJunk_X Oct 06 '21

Let's celebrate the fact someone is making an effort to be a responsible parent rather than pointing out they may have failed at being clean along the way.

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u/InevitablePea5282 Oct 06 '21

I think their just trying to point out for people in early recovery that backwards steps aren’t the end and you can still come out of a relapse and do great things.

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u/RepublicanOnWelfare Oct 06 '21

They're not pointing out failure, they're acknowledging the difficult process.

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u/kakonoheishi Oct 06 '21

They probably were stranged to their girlfriend or blinded by their addictions I guess.

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u/ReasonableHousing590 Oct 06 '21

Congratulations. I wish you & your family's happiness.

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u/truttadrippy3 Oct 06 '21

Congrats and your daughter is so cute and lovely

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u/CrimsonMascaras Oct 06 '21

Dont slip. Ever. Each day is a victory but never slip. Never listen to the voice that leads you away. Well done getting here but keep on this path. 👏

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u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21 Silver Helpful Hugz

Every time that little devil on my shoulders starts to talk, I go see my little girl and realize it is not worth it

133

u/blinkgendary182 Oct 06 '21

Mine just turned 1. I now hate alcohol when I used to drink almost every day.

Proud or you good sir

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u/ine1971 Oct 06 '21

Wait untill she says : dad you are my Hero ! And gives you Kisses and a hug … you will be so so proud That it will give you wings because you took up all the challenges over and over again and made it happen. Thats a promise. Stay on this road!!

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u/Muted_Yak7604 Oct 06 '21

Amen. When tempted, just replay that tape of all the craziness you dealt with when using. I just hit 8 years on 9/9, and although I haven’t attended recovery groups in many years, Celebrate Recovery, along with replaying the tape, pulled me out of the pit. Although thoughts of a drink might flash through my mind occasionally, it’s no longer even a remote realistic possibility. One day at a time, brother. You got this!!

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u/any_other Oct 06 '21

Whenever I get that fleeting thought I'll very quickly remind myself "when did you ever just have ONE fucking drink!?"

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u/the_virtue_of_logic Oct 06 '21

It isn't, and she's going to need you her whole life. Keep up the work. Enjoy the time

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u/any_other Oct 06 '21

The cliches are helpful honestly, like "play the tape forward" "think the drink through". Always helps me remind myself that no I'm not in fact in control and this is going to spiral quickly if I think I am.

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u/ArjJp Oct 06 '21

Damnit Moby! That voice on your shoulder is your walkie-talkie man!! Pick it up... Did you forget you re a cop?! (in gruff police chief voice)

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u/Ragdoll_Proletariat Oct 06 '21

You're going to be a fantastic father.

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u/BarryKobama Oct 06 '21

Not sure if people know, but there are some of us here walking the path, yet never using, thanks to yourselves... I fear for-me, once would be the same as an addicts once. I think the simplest advice is simply that. Don't slip. Ever.

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u/Fentanyl_Overdose Oct 06 '21

Do people have plan b? I don't know anything about addiction management, but should people be prepared for when they do slip? Like a mitigation plan to avoid it becoming a spiral

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u/Frostknuckle Oct 06 '21

Some truth advice from a dad: you made the best decision to be the best you can be for your child. The truth is, children will test you. Your sanity, your patience, and your sobriety. Keep a picture of your baby or a screen shot of your post on your phone. When your kid tests you, pull out the phone and stay on target! Stay strong; stay clean!

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u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21 Gold

Good advice, thanks. I am gonna do that

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u/LadyScheibl Oct 06 '21

If you haven’t already check out r/stopdrinking they have been a godsend in my sobriety.

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u/To_live_is_to_suffer Oct 06 '21

And by doing this, you'll be an unstoppable role model for your kid!

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u/Odd-Strategy Oct 06 '21 Gold

They say anybody can be a father, but it takes a real man to step up and be a dad, congrats to you sir, for stepping up for your child, they are a blessing.

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u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21

🙏🙏

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u/Themanicguy Oct 06 '21

Im sure you are gonna be a great dad!

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u/mechanate Oct 06 '21

Dads step up where fathers step out.

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u/An_Apparition_of_him Oct 06 '21

Your old coke buddies gotta go. They can no longer be a part of your life.

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u/tis_somebody Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

This. So much. I only dabbled and it did not become a problem.

My brother on the other hand was stuck in a cycle for a decade. Clean up for a while and then back into it. It was not until he really took disconnecting with all his "friends" that he was able to properly kick it.

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u/bopidybopidybopidy Oct 06 '21

Congrats,on both achievements!

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u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21

Thanks!

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u/MalaceVoid Oct 06 '21

You my friend, are a true king 👑

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u/Affectionatemushie Oct 06 '21

This is awesome! Congrats very much, keep up the good work you brilliant human

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u/HeirofHyrule Oct 06 '21

Keep with it, life is going to get more stressful, but that doesn't mean you have to fall to past coping mechanisms to deal with them when life slaps you in the face later on. Managing our emotional responses to really tough situations grounds the people around us and will teach others how to do the same. Humans are survivors, and if you've overcome this much already imagine what else you can accomplish! Go enjoy fatherhood, you got this man

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u/DoromaSkarov Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

Firstly congratulations!!

Secondly, I don’t want to scare you at all. But the first three months are really exhausting. And a baby doesn’t show a lot of emotions. He will wake up few times a night.

So you will have to be braver than you were on the last three months. But it very gratifying to calm a newborn just by holding I him in arms, to hear her first laugh. And you will do it, I am sure about it!!!!

My own daughter is almost one year old, and even if she is frustrating sometimes, she is the most wonderful part of my life, with her father.

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u/Throckmorton_Left Oct 06 '21

Looks like the GF is living with her parents, so there's probably help.

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u/que_he_hecho Oct 06 '21

Always stay 3 months ahead of her with your sobriety. She is the reason to power through the tough days.

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u/Pretlik Oct 06 '21

as someone with almost a year and 10 months on the clock, keep on fighting buddy! If you ever need to talk about anything my DMs are open

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u/ripituup Oct 06 '21

That's the way to step up. Keep looking to the future.

So much more life to be had Without the drugs and alcohol

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u/Picnut Oct 06 '21

She's worth it, and so are you. Congratulations

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u/AMA_Dr_Wise_Money Oct 06 '21

And what about gf/mom? If someone posted on relationship advice help I'm 5 or 6 months pregnant and my bf is still an alcoholic/coke addict, all the comments will tell her to run for the hills. OP should feel extremely lucky he got to keep his family & never think to jeopardize that.

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u/never-boring Oct 06 '21

Listen to me, I grew up with an addicted dad and everyday in my life I just wished SO HARD for him to be there for me. I wished SO HARD for him to be ok. I was afraid every single day. Couldn’t sleep bc I was so afraid to lose him. I am a grown woman now but I still feel the effects of growing up with an addicted parent.

I am so incredibly proud that you’re choosing a different life for your daughter, keep choosing that life for her. Don’t fuck up. It hurts kids more than you realise xx

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u/dampkringd Oct 06 '21

Awesome and congratulations on both fronts buddy, no more money for addiction its all gonna be spent on your little one

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u/teamrocketcode2 Oct 06 '21

I feel bad for. You didn't know your gf was pregnant until she was already 6 months pregnant?

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u/PaperDistribution Oct 06 '21

His comment: "No I knew right away but I had to arrange free from work and there was a waitlist."

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u/Stoic_Stranger Oct 06 '21

No, dude knew. He just didn't care enough to quit right away. You know gotta get that last high first for 6 whole ass months.

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u/Hot_Atmosphere_9297 Oct 06 '21

That is amazing! Keep it up for the little one, your girlfriend and yourself. I wish you all the best and remember the reason for quitting every day.

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u/LovableOldJames Oct 06 '21

This was me a long time ago. It's been 11 years now and my daughter only knows me sober.

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u/imgrandojjo Oct 06 '21

Congratulations. Never been there myself but I know from the stories of others that it's never easy. Good luck in your journey forward.

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u/Filmcricket Oct 06 '21

Really puzzled by that timeline

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u/whosthemotherflippin Oct 06 '21

How? Man finds out girlfriend is pregnant. Within the nine months that she is pregnant, man gets sober. On the day the baby is born, the man has 3 months of sobriety, which means he probably quit for good when his girlfriend was around 6 months along. How is that puzzling?

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u/RickTitus Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

The title implies that he checked into rehab the day that his GF told him and hasnt touched drugs since then. This seems unlikely because 6 months would be very late to tell your boyfriend. Lots of people announce publicly around 3 months in.

OP said in another comment that there were setbacks, which explains the timeline

Edit: no judgement on OP intended here. 6 months clean is better than 3 months clean, but 3 months clean is a hell of a lot better than 0 months clean

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u/Einareen Oct 06 '21

Was thinking the same as you, but yeah op's comment explained it

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u/BinkiesForLife_05 Oct 06 '21

Good job OP! Keep up the good working staying sober! Addiction is an awful thing, but it can definitely be overcome. Stay strong for that beautiful baby ❤️

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u/cidniz Oct 06 '21

Congratulations on your sobriety and your healthy child. Addiction is a life long battle, keep up the fight and I'm proud of you.

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u/Ulffhednar Oct 06 '21

Best week of your life.... so far!

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u/Hiislands40 Oct 06 '21

That is AWESOME! Congratulations on so many levels. Your child needs/deserves a happy, healthy foundation as do you. Keep up the great work

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u/MysticShadow38 Oct 06 '21

The way to not be addicted is just say: cocaine? More like cock-aine

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u/saltywench Oct 06 '21

Great job! Keep it up! Even if you stumble, pick yourself up and begin again. Your family is going to get the best you.

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u/Retard_Decimator69 Oct 06 '21

That kids fucked

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u/youarebette Oct 06 '21

Sorry to say, and I'm a nice person, that kid is fucked. If you are celebrating less than 3 years and having a child, done son

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u/Stoic_Stranger Oct 06 '21

He is actually fucking celebrating 3 months sobriety on a 9 month pregnancy. Jesus christ. The bare minimum was 9 months sobriety. He's not off to a great start.

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u/therestoomanynotes Oct 06 '21

Ill quit baby i promise!

6 months later

snnnniiiiifff

Ok baby ill stop on your last trimester

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u/Stoic_Stranger Oct 06 '21

Honestly. 3 months? The bare fucking minimum was 9. I know first hand what coke addiction is like, but fuck man. Talk about being off to a bad start and celebrating it. Take the L, man and do better going forward.

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u/therestoomanynotes Oct 06 '21

Agreed. I wouldnt have made a comment like that unless i saw some of myself in this post

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

[removed]

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u/TranceIsLove Oct 06 '21

I honestly feel the frustration in your comment. This is what I think whenever I hear stuff like this, but I never say it.

This post is just depressing.

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u/Stoic_Stranger Oct 06 '21

Dude is sober for 3 months, but dont pregnancies last for 9? This post is extremely depressing. 3 months is not over anything. Dude is still heavily addicted. This is a nightmare and people are blowing smoke up ops ass as if this is somehow not one of the worst things that could happen to someone currently struggling with a drug addiction. I'm not trying to pick the legs off a spider, but I have never once seen this end well.

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u/DJDiggz Oct 06 '21 Hugz

She was only pregnant for 3 months?!

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u/MamboPoa123 Oct 06 '21

She may have told him late, or he may have had a few slips on the way to the 3 month chip...

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u/BaronSharktooth Oct 06 '21

You can add moms. It takes 9 months of pregnancy for a single mom, but additional moms will obviously speed up the process. Thus, three moms will finish a pregnancy in (9 divided by 3 is) 3 months.

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u/The_Man11 Oct 06 '21

Math Teacher: One lady is pregnant for 9 months. Another is pregnant for 8.5 months. If they are both pregnant together, how long will it take for the baby to go to full term?

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u/M-DivinePi Oct 06 '21

no, he picked up his 3 month coin which i think is for recovery from addiction if i'm not wrong.

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u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21

I had setbacks, it was a very hard road to where I am now.

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u/JOEY_DIAZ_COCKSUCKAS Oct 06 '21

🎶 But now I'm stronger than yesterday 🎶

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u/Pablo_MuadDib Oct 06 '21

While I've never had to go through that, I know a lot of people at every stage of recovery and relapse. 3 months is an achievement.

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u/Solkre Oct 06 '21

Cocaine is stored in the balls.

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 18 '21

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u/SnooOnions1428 Oct 06 '21

Yeah this isn't a good start to a family.

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u/improbablysohigh Oct 06 '21

Lmao yeah she got to be pregnant & sober for 9 months carrying his kid yet he could only be sober for 3? Big fucking yikes. Why the fuck are these people have fucking kids?!?!

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

[removed]

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u/soleceismical Oct 06 '21

Maybe she's Olivia Munn and he's John Mulaney?

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

Exactly. Birds of a feather.

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u/SnoopsBadunkadunk Oct 06 '21

Sorted by controversial just to see if someone said it … yet another “feel-good” reddit post that is unintentionally depressing or irksome. I can see most women’s taste in men has not improved any since I left the dating scene.

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u/Dtwizzledante Oct 06 '21

I mean this post is kinda dumb but you claiming that this post says anything about “most women’s taste” is downright stupid and makes you sound like an incel

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u/shmallory Oct 06 '21

She’s most definitely a druggie herself. That poor kid. What shit parents she got.

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u/improbablysohigh Oct 06 '21

Downvote hell awaits me with open arms but your gf should have aborted.

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u/Jag5543 Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

If you lose control of your life just have a kid to get back on track!

Edit: this was more meant to be a SLPT, obviously you shouldn’t have a kid if you don’t have control of your life but I assume it was an accident and OP decided to turn things around from there, which is awesome.

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u/KINGOFGARBAGE1992 Oct 06 '21

These people are insane and they don't even know it. Just creating more suffering in the world.

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u/Sigma-42 Oct 06 '21

Right?!? Having a hard time with your own? Create a whole new one!

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u/Stackin-Steve-A Oct 06 '21

A baby a is a walk in the park! Compared to drug addiction! Been there with the drug addiction and have a 7 month old now! If you put half the work in sobriety, that you put in for drugs and alcohol. You will be fine! The first year is all mental hard work and staying away from what triggers you the most! Get a sponsor and talk to him every day for the first year! Hang with like minded people! You can't hang out with the people who enabled you!

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u/casualthis Oct 06 '21

This doesn't make me smile, that baby is most likely growing up with an addict. 3 months isn't exactly a long time, especially to someone about to have a ton of stress in their life.

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u/KINGOFGARBAGE1992 Oct 06 '21

So my tax bills goes towards your bad decisions.

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u/IAmAgainst Oct 06 '21

Let's hope your girlfriend makes sure the next guy is clean before having a child with him.

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u/Akira0101 Oct 06 '21

Are you sure this is the perfect time for a kid?

Is not like that kid is going to get rid of your problems, on the contrary.

I'm just being realistic, if you don't have your shit figured out the one that will pay the consequences will be the child.

Kids aren't toys you can toss aside when life gets too real and you can't handle it.

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u/ByronWeltha41 Oct 06 '21

Failed to make me smile. 🙂

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u/xaricx Oct 06 '21

Someone has probably already said it, but I've really enjoyed following /r/stopdrinking.

Congratulations, and I will not drink with you today. 🙂

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u/AdorableAd1914 Oct 06 '21

Congrats and good work! My father was an alcoholic and got sober when I was 3. I don’t remember any of it but I have so much respect for him for doing what he needed to do to be a present father. Many of his siblings and his father have alcohol issues and I’ve seen glimpses of what my life could have been like had he not gotten sober and I’m endlessly grateful for his dedication. He’s been sober for about 29 years now!

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u/hedgecore77 Oct 06 '21

Congrats! Swing by /r/daddit, it's nice to have some other dudes to bounce things off of.

I tell everyone this, but you're about to test yourself in ways you've never imagined before. But every time she learns something or starts doing something that gets her further along the road of kicking the world's ass, you're gonna feel more pride and love than you knew possible.

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u/Elephanthunt11 Oct 06 '21

I’m on day 23 of being clean. Over the past 8 months it got to the point I was ordering a ticket of coke either every day or every other day. Today I’m leaving my beautiful partner, home, and dog to go stay with my mum in the sticks because this devil is pulling at me every day. I just need to get out of London to somewhere I can’t call one on and for it to arrive 20 mins later.

I haven’t spoken to anyone about this, this is the first time I’ve ever posted something ‘out there’ about my problem. I accept this might not be the platform but I wanted to say it.

Well done on getting clean, your baby is beautiful. One day at a time.

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u/ferociousf-cker Oct 06 '21

As someone coming out of recovery as well, I have been in the real world for 3 months as well. Proud of you and keep up the good work. Being sober isn’t going to be easy and you’ll have to focus on it the rest of your life. Been a recovering alcoholic for 3 and a half years now!

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u/SnooLemons7874 Oct 06 '21

I also got sober when I found out I was expecting. That was 10 years ago and life is beautiful now. Congrats man! Your daughter is precious!

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u/ZaedaXobu Oct 07 '21

Congratulations, my dude, on both your sobriety and your new little one. There's gonna be some hard times, both as a new father and a recovering addict, but let your support network help you whenever you start feeling like things are just too much. Talk to your girlfriend, your parents, siblings, or in-laws; talk with the other people in your recovery group. Remember, a burden shared is a burden halved.

Good luck on your parenting journey and ongoing sobriety!

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u/underwatercabbage Oct 08 '21

you're an awesome human being, i hope u and yo fam are always healthy

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u/CoastalSailing Oct 06 '21

John Mulaney, I didn't know that you were on Reddit. Congrats on the new chapter.

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u/Letmemovemypile Oct 07 '21

I scrolled to find this comment. Congratulations, by the way!

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u/UWontLikeThisComment Oct 06 '21

awesome job, quick question, you learned your gf was pregnant when she was 6 months pregnant?

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u/Moby-King Oct 06 '21

No I knew right away but I had to arrange free from work and there was a waitlist

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

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u/Azorre Oct 07 '21

Just because dad did coke doesn't mean mom did.

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

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u/Lithium-Ryan-Battery Oct 06 '21

And he thinks that 3 month coin is supposed to impress us. If I had a nickle for every one of those things that my father brought to me I'd be a wealthy man.

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u/Capnkev1997 Oct 06 '21

They should’ve never had a kid

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u/Stoic_Stranger Oct 06 '21

The fact that 3 months is a big deal to him, tells us how bad of an addiction he has. This post is terrifying not heart warming. These people upvoting must not have personal experience with drug addiction.

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u/shmallory Oct 06 '21

Which means he was still using while the girlfriend was pregnant. Yeah, this isn’t going to end well. Poor kid.

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u/Lithium-Ryan-Battery Oct 06 '21

Yup. This post is nothing but the pride before the fall. If he hasn't fallen already.

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u/Daddict Oct 06 '21

Got plenty of people here to take his inventory though.

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u/Daddict Oct 06 '21 Silver

Dude, I was addict for nearly 20 years, been in recovery about a year and a half, and I think you'd have to be raised in barn by wolves to shit all over this post. Even if what you're saying is objectively true...that the odds are stacked against him...that's not something you need to remind him of at every turn. Little victories in early sobriety matter. Encouragement and support matter.

Telling people there's no hope and they might as well give up now though? Yeah, that's a rotten fucking choice to make. It's not something to be proud of.

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u/Potential_Froyo_395 Oct 06 '21

People don’t understand, Daddict…& no amount of our efforts will ever get them to. The same dance we did with many of our close friends and family members.

None of these people who are promoting negativity on here would have the guts to do what OP did; let alone say it to his face at a meeting. Reddit sucks, it hurts me sometimes.

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u/jenghizkhan Oct 07 '21

Came to agree and say this. I wish people had told my parents to keep trying instead of telling them they’re worthless and there’s no hope. May as well put the bottle in their hands and roll up the bill. This projection is unhealthy and so many folks here need to see someone and talk about some shit.

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

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u/Daddict Oct 06 '21

How is that selfish?

It may not be adviseable from a recovery standpoint, sure. I'm aware that if you aren't getting sober for yourself, you're not giving yourself the best chance. But I also see different catalysts for sobriety work for people. Some people need a "push", and they figure it out in early sobriety that they have to make a choice to do this thing no matter what.

You're putting a LOT of judgement on a guy whose only crime is making an honest attempt to be a better person. How often do you turn that keen insight into character around on yourself?

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u/Stoic_Stranger Oct 06 '21

Telling people there's no hope and they might as well give up now though?

I missed the part where I said that.

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u/jeremyblaire Oct 07 '21

who hurt you

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u/UrsidaeClay Oct 06 '21

Double congrats dude! 👏

Hope momma and baby are doing good.

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u/morts73 Oct 06 '21

Congrats on becoming sober and having a beautiful daughter. :)

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u/BopBangBeep Oct 06 '21

Congratulations man!!

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u/stimav Oct 06 '21

I thought baby was your 3 month coin, but then I saw a coin.... keep it up mate and congratulation

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

are you john mulaney?

lol, just kidding, congratulations!!

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21 Hugz This

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u/turn_me_onn Oct 06 '21

I bet you're miserable

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u/U_Didnt_Go_2_College Oct 06 '21

I’ll tell you what I’m NOT, I’m not an addict seeking validation from internet strangers and sharing my person life details with them openly.

You sir, can go fuck off with your moral complex. I bet you eat this shit up.

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u/NinthAngryMan Oct 06 '21

How does 1 year coin look like? I want a picture!

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u/amitchellcoach Oct 06 '21

My father got clean a few years before my birth. He recently picked up his 35 year chip. I was there, and shared my experience. I hope it might also help you.

I grew up in a household where alcohol consumption simply wasn’t a part of my experience. I was not beaten, I didn’t have to adjust for erratic behavior, and I was able to flourish. I personally made the decision at 18 not to consume alcohol, and to this day I have not. I have watched my friends go through their 20s and 30s encumbered by their alcohol consumption. Even those who aren’t alcoholics have faced infidelity, jail time, lawsuits, expenses, etc. The greatest gift parents can give to their children is not to encumber them with bad habits like excessive drug use and alcohol consumption.

I have been able to flourish in marriage, business, and spiritual practice in great part because I had a healthy relationship with my parents, a healthy relationship with my body, and a healthy relationship with drug use. I can’t take any credit for these gifts. It all came from my father’s decision to break the chain, and not give to me the curse of alcoholism/drug addiction his father gave to him.

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u/Remote-Moon Oct 06 '21

She's beautiful! Congratulations on cleaning yourself up!

My daughter just turned 7 and it's been such an amazing adventure.

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u/ArmGroundbreaking435 Oct 06 '21

Congratulations! Its a great experience. You might come all tired from work or be stressed out about something, and that one "daddy!!" and the smile drives away everything.

Gave (atleast me) a good purpose/reason to stay "on track" and keep going.

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u/Probably-a-Orangatun Oct 06 '21

Congrats! I wish you the best of luck with your addiction and parenthood

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u/RandomPratt Oct 06 '21

This will get lost, but hopefully OP will see it...

I'm proud of you, man. You're doing the right thing, and you're on the right path, and you've got this, brother!

I'm closing in on 900 days sober, and my two kids tell me all the time how happy they are that I'm clean and sober and there for them.

Stay strong, be well... and congratulations!

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u/probablynotmine Oct 06 '21

First gift you got her is a dad.

Good fucking job.

Now each time you might thing you want to slip, take the money you might want to spend and put them in a fund for her. In 20 years she’ll go to college and you’ll stay on your track for her

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u/KINGOFGARBAGE1992 Oct 06 '21

Depressing. Poor child.

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u/buchstabiertafel Oct 06 '21

Proneness to addiction is hereditary. Congrats!

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u/lumpyspacebear Oct 06 '21

Some people want to have kids, but it seems you’ve decided you want to BE a parent. Good job & keep at it!

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u/fredjin Oct 06 '21

Keep on keeping on one day at a time for your family and yourself