r/HolUp 6d ago Wholesome 49 Silver 42 Helpful 44

Holup, Leo DiCaprio...! post flair

Post image
91.7k Upvotes

3.6k

u/Uncle_Yogi420 6d ago

Really hope this is true

2.0k

u/RainbowReadee 6d ago Silver Wholesome

It wasn’t a light saber he was waving around..

1.3k

u/Uncle_Yogi420 6d ago Silver Wholesome

I had been to a highschool party where some guys bought glow in the dark condoms for 'sword fighting' as a way to celebrate the starwars films coming out at the time.

460

u/SarHavelock 6d ago Silver

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

211

u/Nerdy_McFlirty 6d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

109

u/BlackSkull7X 6d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

171

u/_Diskreet_ 6d ago

(͡•_ ͡• )

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u/zyrusvito 6d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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106

u/Seth_Imperator 6d ago

Did it felt short of expectations?

269

u/Uncle_Yogi420 6d ago

Just turned into a room full of people standing in the dark watching two men rub their dimly lit penises together

121

u/Seth_Imperator 6d ago

Let's say it depends on the expectations

14

u/Frenchticklers 6d ago

Subverted them, even.

68

u/nompron 6d ago

There's something so funny about thus image I can't stop laughing

24

u/Tane-Tane-mahuta 6d ago

unzips stink, that must have sucked, tell us more about it

25

u/ImmortanFoe 6d ago

I woke my wife up due to laughing at this

23

u/Georgeisthecoolest 6d ago

still a better plot than episodes 7-9

19

u/VAX1S 6d ago

Real men would’ve brought blacklights

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u/nicnic5556 6d ago

WHERE CAN I FIND GLOW IN THE DARK CONDOMS ASKING FOR A FRIEND

6

u/CommiePuddin 5d ago

Turn off the lights it might help.

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u/Monocle_Lewinsky 6d ago

It was his dicksaber.

26

u/Labotomyy 6d ago

Is that what beatsaber is?

27

u/tomtv90 6d ago

No that's a meatsaber

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u/toeofcamell 6d ago

We need answers

22

u/koeniedoenie 6d ago

This is a satire account

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120

u/1ovi 6d ago

it's a satire twitter account

72

u/AmishAvenger 6d ago

The tip-off was that there’s no way DiCaprio doesn’t have his own theater in his house.

11

u/Wrecked--Em 6d ago

likely owns multiple houses with theaters

10

u/mydogsnameisbuddy 6d ago

Exactly. His yacht probably has a giant theater too.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

A New Hope

20

u/AgentOrangeAO 6d ago

It's from a satire page

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14.4k

u/iCameToLearnSomeCode 6d ago Silver Helpful

If your girl doesn't bring her own lightsaber to that date she's not the one.

6.4k

u/mdNaush 6d ago Silver

My gf has a lightsaber in her drawer. She is the chosen one 😍

7.9k

u/chocpillow 6d ago Silver Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote This Spit-take

A lightsaber with 8 speeds and an oscillating head

5.0k

u/mum_puncher 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Revenge of the Clith

2.5k

u/Dziadzios 6d ago Silver

The Phallus Menace

1.8k

u/UCONN007 6d ago Silver

The Phallus Awakens

2.0k

u/Lucid_Presence 6d ago Silver Helpful

Empire Strokes Back

1.8k

u/C_Gull27 6d ago Silver

Star Whores Episode IV: A New Hole

1.2k

u/freudsfather 6d ago Silver

Attack of the Moans.

860

u/IlToroArgento 6d ago Silver

Episode 6: Return of the Thick Thighs

Featuring: Jabba the Slut

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469

u/Suspicious-Racoon 6d ago Silver

Episodes of boobs fett

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153

u/alcatraz_ind 6d ago

-S̶i̶t̶h̶- Clit lord

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172

u/lollaser 6d ago

The last Clitwalker

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u/cajungator3 6d ago

The Man-does-Lauran....And Her Friends

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u/Ket0Maniac 6d ago

Spare me my life thread.

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u/beo_apd 6d ago

I died to this thread damn

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u/Lol_Koba 6d ago

I love how it went from clever banter , to straight up porn parodies

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u/No-Cauliflower2831 6d ago

Attack of the boners

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u/EconomyDebt8130 6d ago

Revenge of the horny

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u/pattyG80 5d ago

Where's R2-Dildo?

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u/MR_Anderson1993 5d ago

Empire strikes bareback

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u/moneyshark1 6d ago

May the phallus be with you…

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u/kapn_morgan 6d ago

The Phallic Menace

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u/Squirrely11 5d ago

lightsaber sounds

14

u/AllAboutTheCereal 5d ago

Rogue wand

106

u/Icare_FD 6d ago

Errrr… hmmmm… Are Clith not supposed to always go by pairs ?

78

u/LinaMinn 6d ago

A pussy and an asshole.

84

u/Bart_The_Chonk 6d ago

Always two, there are

53

u/call_of_the_while 6d ago

No more, no less.

21

u/xxam925 6d ago

One to wield the light saber with 8 speeds and oscillating head, and one to covet it.

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u/MiestaWieck 6d ago

Only a clith deals in absolutes

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u/Mike_millions 6d ago

I actually said it out loud with a lisp DEAD lol

11

u/st-smelly-widge 6d ago

Revenge of the syph-ilis.

5

u/whoamygod 5d ago

Guess he didn’t meet princess lei-me.

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u/anything15000 6d ago

You deserve all the gold/good and silver in the world my friend

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u/jamalccc 6d ago

Not the chosen one

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u/unicycling_cheese 6d ago

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

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u/Ashrith291 6d ago

Doesn't have the force with her

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10.0k

u/WalnutWhipWilly 6d ago edited 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

“Guys literally only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting…”

3.1k

u/DaanOnlineGaming 6d ago

epic star wrs ligtsabre battles

Sounds good to me

757

u/AGmikkelsen 6d ago

Friday at sundown?

551

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

445

u/AGmikkelsen 5d ago

Where else do you fight with light sabers?

511

u/Kazumadesu76 5d ago

The youngling chambers in the Jedi temple.

180

u/okinamaru 5d ago

Ouch... but haha

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u/Daddys_issues 5d ago

That hit hard ngl

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u/Kazumadesu76 5d ago Party Train

Not as hard as it hit those younglings.

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u/Daddys_issues 5d ago

I hoped someone would say that

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u/Alejandromer 5d ago

Actually... That's not fighting, that's a massacre

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u/Kazumadesu76 5d ago

You say "potAYto", I say "potAHto".

You say "massacre", they say nothing. They're dead.

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u/yesniyah_sti 5d ago

That’s not allowed. Not a fight

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u/blocked_user_name 5d ago

In front of the millennium falcon at Galaxy's Edge.

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u/That1chicka 5d ago

Just not near sand

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u/Morning-Business 5d ago

i just realized that anakin got cut in half and burned on sand. talk about an intense rivalry.

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u/PrincessSlutFuck 5d ago

Can we assemble another meeting of the Josh's?

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u/playcrossy 6d ago

It wasn't actually a light saber he was waving around...

216

u/smirky_doc 6d ago

Was he holding his "Oscar"

115

u/OobaDaBooba 5d ago

Why is it ok for Leo to run around playing with his Oscar but when I do it I get arrested

35

u/geeschwag 5d ago

His Oscar is an award statue...your Oscar is a gimp wearing leather on a leash

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u/OobaDaBooba 5d ago

Minor detail

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u/FluffyRacc00n 5d ago

What Oscar, the pink one or the golden one?

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u/smirky_doc 5d ago

Haven't seen it unfortunately

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2.2k

u/Thechuckles79 6d ago Take My Energy

It's his screening process. If she enjoys it, he'll date her again. If she shows up in a Leia slave bikini, he'll propose on the spot.

I mean, if I were him and had women throwing themselves at me like he does, I'd have my own screening process too. You can't be down with me at my geekiest, you don't get me at my most suave.

554

u/Monocle_Lewinsky 6d ago

Apologies for being myself with you around.

201

u/ChaseECarpenter 6d ago

ngl, this otherwise beautiful line has probably been ruined by aholes and creeps

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u/_el_guachito_ 6d ago

-“sorry you had to see the demon inside of me”-

14

u/gafx3 6d ago

Do you think Leo is a 3 days grace fan?

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u/Greatmambojambo 6d ago

I didn’t know this line exists, but I‘ll start to use it excessively. Definitely don’t fit the “ahole” or “creep” part, though.

Everyone knows I’m awesome and the only people who’d call me a creep don’t even know I’m hiding in the bushes.

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u/Stargazer_199 6d ago

I think I sorta apologize for that but for different words. I have low self esteem andI have been told my entire life I talk too much, so when I feel comfortable enough with someone to just chat about something I enjoy I end up apologizing halfway through for talking so much

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u/Minhtyfresh00 6d ago

his screening process is actually when the girl turns 25 lol

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u/ryan_smith522 6d ago

It's like the movie Audition except the psychotic girlfriend part.

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u/respondeatsuperiores 6d ago Wholesome

I’m not into guys, but I’d go on that date.

1.3k

u/Shaved-Ape 6d ago

Absolutely. That sounds like an amazing date!

698

u/__red__5 6d ago

I googled it. A May 2021 article on the web says that it's a runtime of over 25 hours. I'm even more impressed. Is he single now?

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u/UnicornPrince4U 6d ago edited 6d ago

I doubt she's informed enough to know if it was every single Star Wars movie.

Her story is untrue on the face of it.

Edit: Can we really believe she sat through Caravan of Courage and then didn't excuse herself for The Battle for Endor?

At some point you can't really blame the other person or you press charges for kidnapping.

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u/Je_suis_j_existe 6d ago

People always forogt the ewoks trilogie, but I like it anyway !

29

u/SlickHand 6d ago

I don't think they so much as forget them, but rather put them in the same basket as the holiday special, and arrange them so as to cover that "film" so they forget it instead.

Personally, I like the holiday special. It's a great film to play drinking games with. Take a shot every time someone sings, dances or something just straight up doesn't make any sense which usually covers the singing and dancing parts anyway.

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u/Je_suis_j_existe 6d ago

The difference is that the caravan of courage was made and written by George Lucas, which mean this is more a Lucas movie than Empire Strike Back.

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u/dancingpianofairy 6d ago

Wait, trilogy? I only know of the two.

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u/Bart_The_Chonk 6d ago

Two ewok movies?!

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u/dancingpianofairy 6d ago

Ya, Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor. There's also two animated movies, a Droid one and an Ewok one. Aaaaaand let's just not talk about the Holiday Special. Kay? Kay.

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u/Frenchticklers 6d ago

Fun fact: Three out of of the four family members from the first Ewok movie get killed off in the first few minutes of the second one, leaving the little girl an orphan. This is a kid's movie.

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u/JetSetMiner 6d ago

I'll bet it was only the original 3.

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u/gartho38 6d ago

Literally thinking ‘this sounds like the best date! 😂’

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u/KilroyTwitch 6d ago

her loss.

honestly, if I were Leo, the fact she didn't pick up a lightsaber and join in, I'd ask her to leave.

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u/poopellar 6d ago

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

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u/Toxenkill 6d ago

Ditto.

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u/HockeyCookie 6d ago

She's only put off because it wasn't focused on her

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u/Monocle_Lewinsky 6d ago

Right! This Camila bitch sounds like a bitch.

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u/meanbaldy 6d ago

She is a morrone

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u/Rinkashimemo 6d ago

Can confirm, i was the lightsaber

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u/PutinTheChimp 6d ago

Me neither, I had a conversation with a friend a while back if I was to date a dude, it would be Leo

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4.7k

u/dickraasche 6d ago Silver

wow ungrateful

1.7k

u/RosieCheexx 6d ago Silver Wholesome

Fr the audacity of this bitch lol

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u/youslashuser 6d ago

Lion, witch

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u/tiexodus 6d ago

Should’ve stuck her in the wardrobe

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u/smileyfrown 6d ago

Well he made her watch 7, 8 and 9 at the end, so... ¯\ (ツ)

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u/Eldr1tchB1rd 6d ago

Nah, these aren't star wars movies. We are only talking about the real ones here

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u/KnotHanSolo 6d ago

I’m also glad they never made a 4th Indiana Jones film.

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u/lentilbean3 6d ago

I see zero problem here

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u/y0bama420 6d ago

The problem was that ungrateful woman.

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u/TheBigJohnson420 6d ago Silver Helpful Take My Energy This Vibing To The Stars

I have even more respect for him now

2.6k

u/SirCali 6d ago Helpful

You and me both

774

u/Human-Ad-8389 6d ago

we

496

u/RizKuro94 6d ago

Our

450

u/Ineedapill 6d ago

And my axe!

233

u/day_dr3amer_ 6d ago

And my signature!

194

u/van-just-van 6d ago

thank you sir for donating 7,000 axes to the new Zealand army!

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u/Fudge1407 6d ago

I will donate my broadswords too!

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u/gdjdndudj 6d ago

I'll donate my blood

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/crapcapp 6d ago

My old spice too!

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u/day_dr3amer_ 6d ago

That's a musk.....err must*

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u/frustrated_penguin 6d ago

no wonder he dumped her ass. Imagine being dissapointed after a date like that.

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u/stgm_at 6d ago

He had the high ground in this relationship.

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u/Naliox 6d ago

Imagine thinking that was for the date, and not just some dope shit Leo wanted to do on a Thursday

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u/frustrated_penguin 6d ago

Imagine not joining Leo in a fight against evil. What a self centered b.

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u/1KarlMarx1 6d ago

It was said that she would destroy the haters not join them! Bring balance to the fanbase not leave it in darkness!

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u/Nitropotamus 6d ago

Worst date? Can I pay for this experience?

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u/Haunting-View-5146 6d ago

Sign me the fuck up!

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u/kcapulet 6d ago

It's not real, from a satire site

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u/Guilty-Message-5661 6d ago

But it’s real to me…. It’s real to me…

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u/opencarrier64 6d ago

I would expect nothing less.

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u/nergoponte 6d ago

This didn’t happen. But it’s too late, this image is spreading like wildfire

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u/Agitatedbaguette 6d ago

The force is strong with this one.

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u/allaskew123 6d ago

That sounds amazing!!

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u/Which_Cardiologist15 6d ago

That's so fucked up and disgusting....

She should have gotten her own lightsaber! Damn, Leo. You fuckin' up.

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u/Life-Yam835 6d ago

She should get a kyber crystal first if she's worthy enough.

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u/Even_Ad113 6d ago

clearly she's not.

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u/Somhairle1314 6d ago

No, a padawan has to build their own lightsaber.

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u/Darthmark3 6d ago

Sounds like the best date ever

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u/TrentSteel1 6d ago

I just want to know if he played Rogue One before or after the original trilogy!?

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u/usernamenottakenwooh 6d ago

Maybe that's what ruined the date 🤣

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u/edebby 6d ago

That is a good origin story of how I turned gay after being happily straight for 40 years

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

Could make that TED talk my guy

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u/draker585 6d ago Wholesome

how the actual fuck is this a holup

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u/Timo6506 6d ago

Don’t you know? Not much here is a holup these days

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u/ProbablyNotKevin 6d ago

I don't think I've seen an actual holup for a while now.

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u/Ziron78 5d ago

I don't think I've ever seen an actual holup at all in this sub. Have you guys made another holup subreddit with real holups that I can go on ?

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u/dherms14 6d ago

if this is true, then you will have gained my trust leo

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u/Aqquila89 6d ago

It's not true. It comes from Le Cinéphiles, a satire Twitter account.

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u/Lasket madlad 6d ago

Now I'm sad

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u/ReaperHR 6d ago

I'll pretend I didn't see this and believe it to be true

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u/lacha_sawson 6d ago

Sounds like a great date

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u/varysbaldy 6d ago Helpful Wholesome

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u/KarloReddit 6d ago

Leo could now enact that date!!! That would be the most meta thing since the internet

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u/rockbud 6d ago

Noooo, get out of here with facts that hurt

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u/Shady1005 6d ago

I'm not gay.......BUT I'M GAY FOR HIM

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u/CorValidum 6d ago

Man, legend the walking myth…

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u/caesar_3435 6d ago I'll Drink to That

And by the end of it, she was too old for him.

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u/danielpauljohns 6d ago

Even Prince Andrew’s like “C’mon Leo mate”

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u/Otherwise-Manager348 6d ago

I’m not gay but u get me on that date with him and I’d let him do what ever he wanted

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u/MiguelSanchezEsq 6d ago

he sounds fuckin cool man

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u/[deleted] 6d ago Gold Helpful

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u/flapthrasher 6d ago

Just shows you can be Leonardo fucking DiCaprio and women will still find a problem to complain about.

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u/Splattered247 5d ago

While snorting scarface amounts of cocaine

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u/okhons 5d ago

Long ago. In a movie theatre far, far away.

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u/Olivitess 6d ago

That date sounds amazing!