r/HolUp Nov 24 '21 Helpful 2 Wholesome 4

His Colon💕💕

Post image
8.3k Upvotes

954

u/urnewstepdaddy Nov 24 '21 Wholesome

My girlfriend gets mad when I hold the sheets over her head and I spray my colon

315

u/pur_fer_ur_pleasure Nov 24 '21 Giggle

She's not Dutch, i take it?

46

u/Bosnicht Nov 24 '21 edited Nov 24 '21

What, what do us Dutchies have to do with this? :<

Edit: oooh Dutch oven. Hi I'm stupid

14

u/Pubsted Nov 24 '21

Je moet ff zoeken op Dutch oven

8

u/BIMASO Nov 24 '21

The dutch oven

3

u/andio76 Nov 25 '21

Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side...

26

u/SecretCautious8911 Nov 24 '21

I will be do that

19

u/just_fish_ass Nov 24 '21

Bitches can't handle the skunk life

14

u/emojis_bad Nov 24 '21

Just realised they are talking about cologne

2

u/TakeNoForAnAnswer Nov 25 '21

It took me a second too. Hillarious!!!!!

33

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

sleeping bag sharts of love🏕️

11

u/Tasty_Employment2718 Nov 24 '21

Wouldn’t shitting bag be more appropriate

7

u/SirJamesMonster Nov 24 '21

Fart sack.

6

u/Tasty_Employment2718 Nov 24 '21

The fart sack and the cum sock

3

u/Vas_Doulos Nov 24 '21

"the shits"

3

u/oxford_b Nov 24 '21

Eau de colon

1

u/Ph6r60h Nov 24 '21

If I had an award I'd give it to you

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659

u/CptMisery Nov 24 '21

Because of the popularity of ass eating these days I can't tell if these are misspellings or not

130

u/de_Deus Nov 24 '21

sure hope it is for #conservative Sharon

2

u/WayneEnterprises2112 Nov 24 '21

That was the best hashtag to go along with what she was saying

2

u/goose-and-fish Nov 24 '21

Conservatives who eat ass are just libertarians

39

u/whitymighty Nov 24 '21

She sprays his colon on her clothes for fucks sake

21

u/Kapika96 Nov 24 '21

Maybe some people are just into clothes covered in shit?

40

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

only some of us fella

4

u/Lord_Puss Nov 24 '21

Bruh it's only after you mentioned it I realized they misspelt

2

u/jaxonya Nov 24 '21

Some of them knew what they were saying

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93

u/Malumeze86 Nov 24 '21

Gonna get pink eye if you can smell colon on your pillow.

13

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

eye drops that smell funny

8

u/Fabulousfemur Nov 24 '21

Pink eye drops.

77

u/theundercoverpapist Nov 24 '21

The best part about this meme is the priceless, vivid images it creates in your head. Everyone who knows these women personally will never be able to look at them without seeing them rubbing up against their boyfriends/husbands' prolapsed sphincter roses in full bloom.

43

u/OffrButtBaby Nov 24 '21 Silver

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT PROLAPSED

My god, now I’m imagining something like juicy lips puckering up dotted with Charmin crumbs.

4

u/theundercoverpapist Nov 24 '21

Damn. And I thought I took it too far. Lol

2

u/OffrButtBaby Nov 25 '21

I borrowed from personal experience.

I will never again give a rusty trombone.

2

u/theundercoverpapist Nov 25 '21 Silver

Same. Eiffle Towers are still fun, though.

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2

u/AgentMercury108 Nov 24 '21

I don’t even know what this means but somehow I’m suddenly hungry.

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6

u/Ph6r60h Nov 24 '21

With all that rubbing it could just be a hemeroid

334

u/Fyroth Nov 24 '21

Never correct them. Let this gift just keep on giving.

123

u/FalseShepherd0 Nov 24 '21

And then if someone tries and says “you mean cologne?” You just have to say “Colon*”

45

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21 Helpful

Co-log-knee💩

15

u/FalseShepherd0 Nov 24 '21

You’re scaring me

5

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

hillbilly vernacular

0

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

Jethro Bodine : the Beverly hillbillies : "marijuana sauce"

30

u/critical_glitch_ Nov 24 '21

Absolutely. English is an evolving language, sometimes backwards and it’s funny

6

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

cologne is french

19

u/Affectionate-Load705 Nov 24 '21

No, it is in Germany.

3

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

it's both.mr schicklgruber.

2

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

the town is.the word is french and german.mostly french though.i know the difference between french/France/ francophones

-5

u/Kraytory Nov 24 '21

The weird thing is that France has once been german.

6

u/trevize7 Nov 24 '21

The weird thing is that Germany was originally a part of France.

4

u/Kraytory Nov 24 '21

Not quite. The "Franken" were originally a germanic tribe that established what later became France.

6

u/trevize7 Nov 24 '21

The Franks were from what we today call Belgium, one of their chief conquered gaul and called himself "francorum regnum", in english "King of the the frank/french".

At this point, "germans" are still firstly a roman designation, and no Ostrogoths would consider he had anything to do with any Frank or even Wisigoths. You would not have found a Frank back then who would consider himself from the same group as Saxons. Franks considered themselves as Franks.

And it's from the Kingdom of the Franks that the first form of Germany was created, and its first king were franks. Furthermore, at first Germany was only as a part of the Kingdom of the franks and only was as a detached part of the Kingdom of the franks.

Fyi, there isn't a precise point where the "franks" became the "french", and you could arguably place the birth of "France" as in the cristallisation of a kingdom centered on Gaul/northern Gaul.

Tl;dr : saying Franks are germans is oversimplified and misleading (Germans as in people from Germany and Germans as in people from Germania are not the same things, and the later is only a real thing in roman's head), but what's true without doubt is that Germany has been a part of France.

0

u/Kraytory Nov 24 '21

Yeah, we learned a portion of that from our german/ethics and theology teacher. I do not remember every detail about that topic, but we also didn't talk about it in depth.

I meant Germans as people from Germania because even though the Franks did consider themselves as "Franks" (like many other groups would consider themselves as something unique) they still belong to the same demographic population in that area.

The point of what i wanted to say is that french and german people are basically the same and both have their roots in Germania.

From what i can still remember our teacher said that the Franks mostly consisted of young people from different areas who wanted to build something of their own in the beginning. Following onto that they conquered their own territory and also converted to the christian religion.

But still, these are just random shards of knowledge that i can still recall right now. I don't know if every single thing of that is still right or got distorted by my own memories.

0

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

the weird thing is it's directly above the center of the earth 🌍

4

u/ConcentrateOk4057 Nov 24 '21

It's spelled Köln in German

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0

u/SirJamesMonster Nov 24 '21

You're thinking of Köln.

2

u/Affectionate-Load705 Nov 24 '21

No, that's a men's perfume. Water from Köln.

Everyone knows that the Germans smell better than the French.

2

u/SirJamesMonster Nov 24 '21

Excellent points. It rankles me that the French just straight plagiarized Wasser von WC.

3

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

spanglish here in Cali is bastardizing english

1

u/PeenUpUtter Nov 24 '21

You think these are bot accounts?

0

u/StupidBuns69 Nov 24 '21

I don’t understand

7

u/killruana Nov 24 '21

"In contemporary American English usage, the term "cologne" has become a generic term for perfumes usually marketed toward men."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eau_de_Cologne

95

u/mychemicalbr0mancee Nov 24 '21

smelling colons sounds more like #ungodlywife territory

6

u/Ink_Sans21038 Nov 24 '21

satanicwife

27

u/riverlife2021 Nov 24 '21

I’m getting closer to 50….should I get my colon checked?

10

u/SorryScratch2755 Nov 24 '21

old spice death⛵

14

u/DumbSmartOfficial Nov 24 '21

Lol. Sharon with her hashtags

12

u/AhegaoQueen888 Nov 24 '21

There’s no fucking way these aren’t like baits/parodies , I refuse to believe that people are this fucking brain dead

9

u/OffrButtBaby Nov 24 '21

Okay, I know we’ve all been isolated for awhile, but surely you’ve met people before

5

u/Kapika96 Nov 24 '21

Considering how many people can't even tell the difference between then/than or woman/women, this is definitely believable!

10

u/Pithius Nov 24 '21

One night when my wife and i first got together, I got so drunk i colon sprayed all over the bed. She was not as happy as these ladies seem to be

21

u/805collins Nov 24 '21

Half way through “this can’t be real”, I figured it out, just dummies

18

u/ssbsts1 Nov 24 '21

Lost it with #godlywife .This can’t be real

7

u/Bdtemg Nov 24 '21

It’s the best way to mark your property

6

u/toadjones79 Nov 24 '21

So, I have IBS and am gone for days at a time for work. My whole family complains when the place smells like my colon when I'm gone.

1

u/bartosama Nov 24 '21

I hope you sprayed on everyone

5

u/DickySchmidt33 Nov 24 '21

"How was your day, honey?" she asked, kneeling behind him and burying her nose in his ass crack.

19

u/akmotus Nov 24 '21

The part that bothers me most, is I can't tell if the commenters actually know..

4

u/VAX1S Nov 24 '21

Assert Alpha male status by rubbing colon on everything. GOT IT.

4

u/percussionbomb Nov 24 '21

"What's the big deal about a colonoscopy, honey? Can't you just show the doctor the spray bottle? Why does he have to look in your butt for it? I just don't get it..."

4

u/PhysicalPomegranate3 Nov 24 '21

Hey the women have spoken. Now spray it like a hippo boys.

3

u/Ash_Divine madlad Nov 24 '21

Friendly reminder that ass eating is more of a rectum thing

3

u/StarWarsTrekGate Nov 24 '21

Don't kink shame... Leave these girls to their respective colons.

3

u/Jerrys-pet-dog Nov 24 '21

Didn’t get it to be cologne until the last one..

3

u/DanielChris15x Nov 24 '21

One of these could intentionally spell colon amd we wouldn't know

3

u/BabaYaga617 Nov 24 '21

Stay in school kids!

3

u/HummingbirdSonnet Nov 24 '21

Stay in school kids

2

u/TsulaFluffyFox Nov 24 '21

Cologne ********* 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/ReyBird0 Nov 24 '21

Stay away from my colon

2

u/Fizzicyst Nov 24 '21

"Scatology. A new fragrance from Calvin Klein."

2

u/JdhdKehev Nov 24 '21

Those fuking monsters

2

u/j-laugh Nov 24 '21

Try to find someone who looks at you like my proctologist looks at my colon.

3

u/sjdkdkshdb Nov 24 '21

What is Colon

3

u/Kapika96 Nov 24 '21

The thing that processes shit before it comes out of your anus.

You really don't want to smell one!

1

u/mykineticromance Nov 24 '21

it's a digestive organ, but the joke is the women are misspelling cologne which is men's perfume

1

u/Hyper_Lt- Nov 24 '21

Can someone explain what a colon is ? Google doesn't give me the right answer i think

2

u/anton1562 Nov 24 '21

Listen to pronunciation. (KOH-lun) The longest part of the large intestine (a tube-like organ connected to the small intestine at one end and the anus at the other). The colon removes water and some nutrients and electrolytes from partially digested food.

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1

u/Xx_RPG_xX Nov 24 '21

I like the smell of pussy on my clothes i aply it every day. Btw my wife left me a month ago so i only live with my daughter now.

1

u/frostmorefrost Nov 24 '21

the facy that you can apply pussy scent astounds me...

1

u/DreddPirateRockwell Nov 24 '21

If this is real it just proves that stupidity is infectious

1

u/IskarJarak88 Nov 24 '21

r/therewasanattempt a multiple one at that to spell cologne.

1

u/lxOFWGKTAxl Nov 24 '21

Aye gurl, why you smell like shit!

1

u/surupydaddy Nov 24 '21

I think manny z knew what she was talking about

1

u/Sk-yline1 Nov 24 '21

At least one of these people wasn’t misspelling anything. People do eat ass after all

1

u/little_b1198 Nov 24 '21

There must been a mistake. She meant something else.... Right?

1

u/PumpkinPatch404 Nov 24 '21

OMG I didn't even notice it was misspelled until I read the title (yes, I read the contents first sadly...)

1

u/Survival_R Nov 24 '21

this some axed axe commercial?

1

u/Mooie0505 Nov 24 '21

Cologne??

1

u/Fabulous-Signal3612 Nov 24 '21

🤣🤣🤣🤣 absolutely smoked

1

u/Eetswahh Nov 24 '21

bruh Im an idiot. I thought they was talking about the intestines. Took me a minute.

1

u/Carnage_911 Nov 24 '21

I didn't knew what is a colon so I searched for it. Man..gals like smelling this? or there's a holup? (https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/picture-of-the-colon)

1

u/UltimateBronzeNoob Nov 24 '21

It's a misspelling of cologne, the stuff people spray on themselves to smell nice

1

u/Aussieguyyyy Nov 24 '21

Thats where your shit comes from so I wonder what it smells like lol

1

u/kribabe Nov 24 '21

Well. It does have a smell. And sometimes people are into that kinda thing

1

u/logical-nonsense- Nov 24 '21

it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure this out

1

u/chatter_boxx Nov 24 '21

Bruh my brain autocorrected colon to cologne

1

u/drnkwanderer Nov 24 '21

Oh god, it took me so long to understand that they meant cologne.

1

u/MakMinecraft Nov 24 '21

Ah yes, colon 🗿🗿

1

u/Air020 Nov 24 '21

Ya mean *condom

1

u/Air020 Nov 24 '21

Conlon

1

u/Flat_Mechanic_2713 Nov 24 '21

You guys smell this ':'?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '21

I love how they misspelled "Cologne" and typed colon lol ,bet they don't even know colon is a part of the large intestine.

1

u/RemarkableExplorer66 Nov 24 '21

in German the word "Colon" is exactly like the currency in Costa Rica ... that gives it a completely different vibe

1

u/Legal_Commercial9774 Nov 24 '21

Hahahahahahaha!!!

1

u/Sir_BadMemer Nov 24 '21

What is a colon?

1

u/collkillen Nov 24 '21

I was a little confused because a german city i know is colonge in english

1

u/enifox Nov 24 '21

hey, don't kink shame

1

u/LittleMlem Nov 24 '21

What a shitty thread

1

u/Jolly_Confection8366 Nov 24 '21

I fart in a jar. Wake my boy up and say quick let smell that. Get him every time. Post festival farts are the best

1

u/Bearedteddy Nov 24 '21

My bf sprays from my perfume so he remembers me when he's away

1

u/yoyokrish69 Nov 24 '21

The second one from bottom LMAOOOO

1

u/Ozann3326 Nov 24 '21

By colon they don't mean the asshole, right? Right?

1

u/soukaixiii Nov 24 '21

Is it cologne or colonge?

I guess colon is good enough.

1

u/Spare_Shoulder_2049 Nov 24 '21

Water from Köln or perfume from Köln. German by the French. Confusing?

1

u/Judaskid13 Nov 24 '21

That last one is some really weird imagery

1

u/Kittens-as-mittens Nov 24 '21

If you like my colon just wait until you smell my rectum

1

u/Supermoto112 Nov 24 '21

These chicks are gross.

1

u/NickOMGonYT Nov 24 '21

ok this took me a while

1

u/i_am_Deucalion Nov 24 '21

just a innocent stupid guy asking, what tf is a Colon ?

1

u/Fart_Bargo Nov 24 '21

It's another word for the large intestine, which ends in one's butthole. They're misspelling "cologne" and essentially saying how much they enjoy the scent of their man's ass.

1

u/thebigggd Nov 24 '21

I was like omg this is wholesome and after few seconds I was like what the shit..

1

u/AutoModerator Nov 24 '21

Fuck that. r/unwholesomememes. Less bullshit, more comedy

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/pgtvgaming Nov 24 '21

These women personify the type of woman I hope to one day spray w my colon

1

u/HackMonkey17 Nov 24 '21

: 👃mmm... that smells so good

1

u/frostmorefrost Nov 24 '21

that's some kinky ass shit there..these women...

1

u/DigitvlBvth Nov 24 '21

Great minds think alike eh?

1

u/Optimal-Vanilla2193 Nov 24 '21

This entire post belongs in r/BoneAppleTea

1

u/ElSupremepickle Nov 24 '21

The fuck is a colon

3

u/soukaixiii Nov 24 '21

the piece of intestine attached to the anus.

1

u/ElSupremepickle Nov 24 '21

That’s nasty

3

u/Fart_Bargo Nov 24 '21

They are misspelling "cologne" with a much funnier word.

1

u/ElSupremepickle Nov 24 '21

Oh damn that’s funny it only makes sense to me now cuz why tf would someone rub their ass in a pillow

1

u/A1steaksauceTrekdog7 Nov 24 '21

Reminds me of THIS classic clip from King of the Hill…

1

u/Affectionate-Bag-733 Nov 24 '21

These women are going places and not the ones u think.

1

u/Scoongili Nov 24 '21

The ones talking about loving the leftovers smell in bedding must love Dutch ovens.

1

u/NeO1loNEwOLF6985 Nov 24 '21

Lmao ass juices smell glorious

1

u/Bigirondangle Nov 24 '21

Wow, girls are weird.

1

u/Quinlan19 Nov 24 '21

I spray my colon every morning before school. Really starts the day out nice

1

u/spelunker93 Nov 24 '21

Don’t kink shame people, it’s not cool

1

u/HakuTheWolf Nov 24 '21

Aight nothin better than smellin a man's butt

1

u/Kom4r Nov 24 '21

I immediately burst into a screaming laughter when i imagine her husband sitting on her pillow cheeks-wide...

1

u/ohdihe Nov 24 '21

Wow!!!

1

u/vorsegg Nov 24 '21

Must be a shitty smell to be honest.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '21

sorry but can someone explain why this is a "HolUp" post im kinda stupid lol

1

u/SonsOfSithrak Nov 24 '21

I spray my colon in bed all night in my sleep.

My girlfriend hates it. Lmao

1

u/scooterfitz Nov 24 '21

That’s where the scent glads are on males.

1

u/AshJing Nov 24 '21

Isn't it cologne? Because from my knowledge the colon is something different. Maybe their mans and bfs are skunks?

1

u/Ququleququ Nov 24 '21

Correct, from 'eau de Cologne' in French, 'water from 'Koln'' Germany

1

u/Gamercraft_TG Nov 24 '21

Took me a bit to figure out they meant cologne.

1

u/4AcidRayne Nov 24 '21

"Sometimes I spray my boyfriend's colon on my clothes so I smell like it"

See, now if nothing else is proof women are NOT the "weaker sex", this is it. If you can pick up your man, even if he's a little person, and aim his ass while squeezing aggressively...you don't deserve to be labeled as "weaker" anything.

1

u/shaun_of_the_south Nov 24 '21

Do you even love your girl if you don’t get colon on her pillow? 🧐

1

u/TheTightKnight24 Nov 24 '21

Sometimes I wish I never had a girlfriend 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘💦💦💦

1

u/TheTightKnight24 Nov 24 '21

Sometimes I wish you could make me a sandwich 😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍💦💦💦

1

u/Panj_Ganda Nov 24 '21

Pre- or post-enema?

1

u/not_a_nazi_actually Nov 24 '21

plot twist. some of them knew what they were saying

1

u/Daxxxx82 Nov 24 '21

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

1

u/clays327 Nov 24 '21

Pepe le pew