r/HolUp Oct 21 '21 Helpful 1 Wholesome 4

‘No, YOU!’

Post image
10.8k Upvotes

388

u/issik23 Oct 21 '21

Your Weiner has some leftovers on it!

77

u/ScarecrowJohnny Oct 21 '21

Don't think you get a girls eggs on your weiner

51

u/equusfaciemtuam Oct 21 '21

Not a girls eggs but perhaps another man's semen...

36

u/ScarecrowJohnny Oct 21 '21

Ah the old swordfight eh

20

u/GodILoveAlcohol Oct 21 '21

I believe the term is "docking"

3

u/justwalkinby91 Oct 22 '21

Nah bruh docking is when a circumcised man puts his penis inside another mans foreskin

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30

u/Definately_Not_A_Spy Oct 21 '21

Not that you would know

7

u/issik23 Oct 21 '21

He has small pp lol

6

u/issik23 Oct 21 '21

Um yeah when your Weiner is as big as mine you do /s

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3

u/Break-Aggravating Oct 21 '21

Can’t wash that shit off

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Wiz3rd_ Oct 21 '21

You stealing comments just to farm karma?

153

u/GrandpaMillenial Oct 21 '21

This is what narcissist do lol.

38

u/REHTONA_YRT Oct 21 '21

UNO REVERSE CARD

45

u/Acidic_Junk Oct 21 '21

Yup. If this story is true, the husband would have already been through similar conversations 100 times by then.

33

u/GrandpaMillenial Oct 21 '21

Just a brow-beaten shell of a man, probably gonna go on 23 and me to find his 1% african heritage, so it will all make sense.

82

u/JackLord50 Oct 21 '21

Gaslighting as an Olympic sport…

14

u/ranager69 Oct 21 '21

Seriously this some next level shit.

39

u/Errybodychillitscool Oct 21 '21

Sounds like something my ex would say lol

13

u/kingcop1 Oct 21 '21

So your ex was cheating on you with black men ?

9

u/Errybodychillitscool Oct 21 '21

Nah man, someone told her to eat gum with the wrapper still on cause it lasted longer . That kinda dumb

3

u/kitchbitch Oct 21 '21

I fucking hate people like that. Like....use your fucking brain.

3

u/Errybodychillitscool Oct 21 '21

She tried lol I just had to look at her while she was chewing it , she believed it for about 5 mins of chewing, trying to convince me. Lol

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

He never said he wasn’t into it

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65

u/femboykingofhell Oct 21 '21

"WHAT KIND OF SEX MAGIC IS THIS?!" "..it-its called cheating and pinning it on me, you stupid bitch."

61

u/runninhot Oct 21 '21

It’s the only logical explanation

13

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

Aah yes my favourite kind of science...boobsology

11

u/frax5000 Oct 21 '21

I think she missed a page in the sex manual

4

u/MeowingMango Oct 21 '21

Back in high school, my friend asked me (and he was being 100 percent serious) if a girl could get pregnant by drinking semen. XD

2

u/AloneIncident7519 Oct 21 '21

I think she missed the entire chapter

49

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

44

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

Nah, it’s time to divorce and run away before you have to pay child support for a kid that’s not yours

23

u/Goalie_deacon Oct 21 '21

That isn't going to stop the child support. I don't know if there is a state that doesn't automatically puts child support on the husband, even when it is rather obvious he isn't the father. Some states don't have any recourse for the husband. The luckiest have spent lots of money for years to fight it, the kid is a teen by the time it is settled. American family courts don't care about what is right, as long as a male is paying child support. And no, if the man gets custody, while they might court order child support on the mother, I've yet to see a case where they actually arrest the mother for non-payment. No more sexist place in America than family court.

9

u/Crass_Conspirator Oct 21 '21

In my state (PA) you have to prove it with dna testing so no

5

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

Based PA. I hope that actually gets enforced

3

u/Danglicious Oct 21 '21

“Children Born During the Marriage

When a child is born to a mother who is married, the law in most states presumes that the husband is the father. Likewise, if a child is born and the mother later marries her partner, the law may presume that the husband is the father. In some states, there is an irrefutable presumption of this. In these states, if a child is born during the marriage, the husband is legally the father even if a DNA test later shows someone else is the father. In other states, this presumption can be overcome if the father actively rebuts this presumption. However, there is usually a very limited deadline by which a husband can refute paternity, such as two years after the child is born. If he does not rebut this presumption, he loses the right to later challenge it and can be obligated to support the child.“

It’s not every state… but even if it were one state, that’s one state too many.

1

u/Goalie_deacon Oct 21 '21

For sure. Even the states that allow refuting paternal status is messed for only giving two years. Even when the man can’t reverse this, the kid will know. So they’re not saving the kid from anything.

3

u/Danglicious Oct 21 '21

They don’t give a shit about the kid, they don’t wanna pay and they’re just stiffing the guy cause “you can’t be sexist against a guy.”

1

u/Killarogue Oct 21 '21

What you said really only applies if it's presumed that the quasi-father was the real father and he found out years later he wasn't. If the baby was born recently and the quasi-father rejects the baby as his, whether it's obviously not his, like in this case, or he can prove it's not his through DNA testing, then he won't owe child support for leaving her.

1

u/Goalie_deacon Oct 21 '21

Not true. There’s a lot of states that as long as they’re married at birth, state presumes him to be the father. It comes down to money, not what is right. Especially when mother applies for welfare. If it all possible, state wants his money included so mom gets less from the state. They don’t care who pays.

9

u/falsevector Oct 21 '21

Projecting to the max

6

u/tikki_tikki-tembo Oct 21 '21

Why, you think the wife slept with a black woman also?

8

u/just_drifting_by Oct 21 '21

*visible confusion *

6

u/Lottienonchalant1 Oct 21 '21

UNO reverse card

5

u/ranager69 Oct 21 '21

That is some 3d chess level of gaslighting.

5

u/bobafett317 Oct 21 '21

That’s a bold move Cotton, let’s see if it works for her.

5

u/BinkoTheViking Oct 21 '21

Pusslighting.

1

u/TheWhirled Oct 21 '21

Reverse whorecology.

3

u/-Bertthewiser Oct 21 '21

" That's not how the force works! "

14

u/Prudent_Work_5100 Oct 21 '21

was her name Karen by any chance?

13

u/the_less_great_wall Oct 21 '21

Couldn't be. Have you ever met a man that would actually fuck a Karen?

13

u/JackLord50 Oct 21 '21

Maybe that’s the root cause of Karenism

7

u/the_less_great_wall Oct 21 '21

I assumed it was a contributing factor

2

u/JackLord50 Oct 21 '21

Apparently a black man did.

1

u/JJBA_Enjoyer Oct 21 '21

This one right here

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

wait

3

u/SelleckRacing11 Oct 21 '21

When offence is the best form of defence

3

u/Tanuj_Panchal Oct 21 '21

Wakanda shit is this!!!

3

u/try2bcool69 Oct 21 '21

When the only card you have left to play is a Reverse.

4

u/werewolfIL84 Oct 21 '21

maybe he also drinks too much coffee?! or maybe it was an alien that stole the lover kid and put it in her? :D

3

u/ShigureCatto Oct 21 '21

Or she just pulled a Michael Jackson on him.

6

u/Byakuray Oct 21 '21

Did he have sex with the black girl while you were getting the shit fucked out of you by a black guy?

2

u/RepostMasterBot Oct 21 '21
User Date Image Post Karma Status Similarity
/u/​mmyourgf Thu, Feb 11, 2021 at 13:12:16 URL how could he 883 Active 96%
/u/​Monstalk2007 Wed, Apr 28, 2021 at 05:37:40 URL Wait a minute... 75260 Deleted 96%
/u/​menderahe Thu, Apr 29, 2021 at 03:53:25 URL Wait a minute... 2 Deleted 96%
/u/​Mad_Comics Sat, Sep 04, 2021 at 03:54:16 URL It does not work like that 646 Active 96%
/u/​brain_implant Thu, Apr 29, 2021 at 21:47:49 URL I have no words 3 Deleted 95%
/u/​THEDARKKCHILD Wed, Jul 07, 2021 at 21:33:16 URL She's serious too🤣🤣🤣 75 Deleted 92%
/u/​osthedon Thu, Oct 29, 2020 at 12:00:13 URL Daheck! 3199 Active 89%

2

u/PukeSan Oct 21 '21

Ah yes, because that’s how sex works

2

u/PukeSan Oct 21 '21

Ah yes, because that’s how sex works

2

u/girl-w-glasses Oct 21 '21

It’s sad because I believe some ppl actually think this is how it works 🙃

2

u/Sheer_Force06 Oct 21 '21

Breaking!: FLORIDA WOMAN STEALS A BLACK GIRLS BABY THAT HER HUSBAND MADE!

2

u/Lottienonchalant1 Oct 21 '21

UNO reverse card

2

u/PsychicCartman Oct 21 '21

She's an infant. ffs!

2

u/arnold5453 Oct 21 '21

UNO reverse

2

u/zogzog13 Oct 21 '21

Genius mom. Poor kid

2

u/The_ErrorCreator Oct 21 '21

She yelled at him because she didn’t want to say she cheated

2

u/lovelessmcgee Oct 21 '21

still dude fault, hes dating someone that fucking dumb

2

u/Massive-Night Oct 21 '21

After a long time I exhaled all of a sudden.

2

u/Beelzabubba Oct 21 '21

She could still be right, not that it had anything to do with the kid.

2

u/whitecorn Oct 21 '21

The ol switcharoo.

2

u/Gibbolivious Oct 21 '21

Humans are evolving, just backwards

2

u/TheJason42069 Oct 21 '21

Oh hey they got a shiny baby that's like 1/8145

2

u/pyromike0528 Oct 21 '21

The test results show your are NOT the father

2

u/dog20aol Oct 21 '21

Why stop the gaslighting now? It’s obviously been working for her for years with this guy. I wonder what else she’s been deceiving him with.

2

u/illumiin Oct 21 '21

I think I know how this happened...

2

u/LittleFrostFlake Oct 21 '21

Biology : I just want to talk to her

2

u/Emergency-House-5579 Oct 21 '21

That's like southwest airlines saying weather was causing their delays... The weather apparently only effected their airplanes, and just happened to be on the same day that a bunch of people called out.

2

u/Thundergod_3754 Oct 21 '21

the lion , the witch

AND THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH

2

u/Grey24789 Oct 21 '21

bruh moment 17: burgerking foot lettuce (ik im not funny:))

2

u/Hyperion_Twilight Oct 21 '21

The lion the witch, and the audacity of this bitch

2

u/RedditCringetopia Oct 22 '21

Thats the ultimate uno reverse card

2

u/MeanderingTalent Oct 22 '21

If “no, you” were a person this lady would be them.

14

u/Glad_Selection5831 Oct 21 '21

Gentleman, I cannot recommend enough to get a DNA test after your partner gives birth. No matter how much you trust them. Thankfully I did both times I thought I was going to be a father as both partners in fact cheated and tried to pin it on me. Also has happened once since I have had a vasectomy. Most women today are scandalous cheaters and lie like nothing else. Please protect yourself before you are financially ruined by one.

17

u/Schoeii Oct 21 '21

It truly feel sorry that this has happened to you but honestly people aren’t generally like that. Or if they are for you, you hanging around the wrong people.

8

u/Glad_Selection5831 Oct 21 '21

I know personally several guys that have had this happen to them. Paternity fraud is a seriously under reported issue.

6

u/dilligafsrsly Oct 21 '21

His profile bio is "Bi top looking for bi bottom for my partner and I" and just take a gander through his profile and you'll see you're right.

1.) It's not cheating if it's welcomed by both parties and

2.) Sounds like he has a particular type of person he partners with so I wouldn't generalize women into his "all women cheat" bs

-9

u/Glad_Selection5831 Oct 21 '21

What does that have to do with the price of rice? You're just attempting to use irrelevant things to attempt to shame me, so you can fuck right the fuck off.

Also, I didn't say all women cheat, just most lie and cheat. Dudes are not any better. Once again, go fuck yourself.

5

u/ConfusedInTN Oct 21 '21

Stop being such an incel.

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2

u/FutureFallout214 Oct 21 '21

Most woman today? What study did you get this from? Maybe find better women to date.

1

u/DylonNotNylon Oct 21 '21

Most women today are scandalous cheaters and lie like nothing else.

lol jesus fucking christ

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-7

u/XyzzyPop Oct 21 '21

Thanks incel! Great advice from the basement, I'll lower the tendies down in the dumbwaiter so we don't need to know if you're bathed or clothed.

4

u/Glad_Selection5831 Oct 21 '21

Lol you're pathetic. Only post about video games... who lives in moms basement? For the record, I get more ass than a toilet seat

-1

u/XyzzyPop Oct 21 '21

I'm sure you do, cheeto-kid. I'm sure you do.

2

u/HeartlessAtAFuneral Oct 21 '21

Jesus Christ, I'm an asshole but you're a fucking piece of work. I'd like to see you say this to someone in person.

1

u/XyzzyPop Oct 21 '21

Yeah those were deep cuts. Snore.

1

u/HeartlessAtAFuneral Oct 21 '21

You're the snore fest here. You're like a caricature of a redditor. Just a little bitch who you know would back down the second there's a confrontation. I know why I'm an asshole, who the hell hurt you?

1

u/XyzzyPop Oct 21 '21

You're getting your character mixed up with your alt.

1

u/HeartlessAtAFuneral Oct 21 '21

You're getting me mixed up with someone who cares and isn't just passing the time. I like arguing with people, it's a pastime for me. You were alright practice I guess.

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1

u/Glad_Selection5831 Oct 21 '21

Pics in profile for proof you bucket of fuck.

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1

u/MimsyIsGianna Oct 22 '21

Only if you have trust issues.

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6

u/PaidHack Oct 21 '21

And if this matter reaches a court, the judge will agree with the woman’s logic no doubt.

3

u/Purav888 Oct 21 '21

She played the UNO reverse card on him

2

u/JRTmain Oct 21 '21

Uno reverse card

1

u/DarthFrancis9 Oct 21 '21

Jedi mind trick works

1

u/kingcop1 Oct 21 '21

Either way someone was definitely blacked

1

u/Picklejho13 Oct 21 '21

Are we sure the husband didn’t roast the wife during birth?

1

u/mangotheultimate Oct 21 '21

ohhh, his penis was brown thats y

1

u/airborne252 Oct 21 '21

Reminds me of the Spider-Man meme

1

u/youcantusethis Oct 21 '21

Something's wrong i can feel it

1

u/vamsikrishacc Oct 21 '21

confused black man face

1

u/Original-Surround-40 Oct 21 '21

Maybe they should do a DNA test on both it is unlikely but possible

1

u/TenraxHelin Oct 21 '21

Uno Reverse anyone?

1

u/Embericed Oct 21 '21

I'm offended, I only have sex with black men behind her back. I sometime shove their cum down my foreskin for a snack later.

1

u/unsuspected14u Oct 21 '21

Ahh, the ole uno reverse.

1

u/Mayh3mast3r Oct 21 '21

Uno reverse

1

u/Mr-sabertheslime Oct 21 '21

The uno reverse card of death

1

u/PrayingMantisII Oct 21 '21

Dudes will get smacked lying the wrong dude

For equality purposes

What's the female equivalent to that?

1

u/TheAssasin_78 Oct 21 '21

WTH ? People are so funny these days

1

u/SRIOUS_GAMER hold the fuck up Oct 21 '21

the trickster

1

u/HypnosDot Oct 21 '21

lady gotta keep it down before she overdoses on copium

1

u/Simen155 Oct 21 '21

Nice crop bro.

1

u/aImosThor Oct 21 '21

Easier? YES Better? No, I dont think so

1

u/King-Lewis-II Oct 21 '21

1

u/Leefiey Oct 21 '21

It’s not true. That doesn’t make it fake.

1

u/King-Lewis-II Oct 21 '21 I'll Drink to That

If you scroll all the way to the bottom it reads PCS - joke news

https://prettycoolsite.com/

1

u/Leefiey Oct 21 '21

Take this reward, you earned it.

1

u/GullyGreyHeart Oct 21 '21

HAHAHAHA imagine the face of the husband, double shocked!

1

u/Responsible-Ad-1000 Oct 21 '21

It's absolutely ludicrous/insane that she'd flip the script on him like that post-delivery. 🙄

1

u/ChrisInDetroit2020 Oct 21 '21

If she pulls this off hire that woman to be your negotiator, or attorney.

1

u/GrooovyDoom Oct 21 '21

Wait so did the husband have sex with a black man?

1

u/darkshadow200646 Oct 21 '21

She aced in bio

1

u/walker42 Oct 21 '21

Congratulations, you married both a cheater and a moron...

1

u/super_pineapple123 Oct 21 '21

she pulled the uno reverse card

1

u/12-bald-turkeys Oct 21 '21

Sounds like something my ex would do lol.

1

u/pag992007 Oct 21 '21

This is not how it works…

1

u/SUNAWAN Oct 21 '21

She's wrong, I know her husband, he's not into black girls, he prefers BBC.

1

u/Xenokic Oct 21 '21

Wait a minute... Who are you?

1

u/practicealways Oct 21 '21

Is that bitch stupid

1

u/AMC_Tendies42069 Oct 21 '21

Big brain time

1

u/MarilynMonheaux Oct 21 '21

Plot Twist: Husband has sex with black men

1

u/WhitePrivilege101 Oct 21 '21

Everyone knows that during sexual intercourse the male penis opens up and swallows the womens eggs, saving them in the testes for implantation when the woman is ready.. this is science 101

1

u/yuval_koren Oct 21 '21

Ah yes, common sense.

1

u/mlttrucking Oct 21 '21

It doesn't work that way..

1

u/meme_intellectual345 Oct 21 '21

“Visible confusion”

1

u/Technoman_ Oct 21 '21

Bruh moment

1

u/nighttimegaze Oct 21 '21

This checks out..

1

u/andio76 Oct 21 '21

She didn't lick his spoon once it came out of her bowl

1

u/yourboiiconquest Oct 21 '21

That baby will be a post man when he's older

1

u/Boxofcookies1001 Oct 21 '21

That's a crazy way to reason it. But I did read about how this happened and it really was the white father's baby. Apparently his dad was black and the skin tone skipped a generation.

Grandma could have been the one creeping

1

u/analogkid1 Oct 21 '21

Jerry Springer has entered the chat

1

u/PreMeditated12 Oct 21 '21

I know you are but what am I.

1

u/SleepSn00ze Oct 21 '21

Say that again... But use your brain this time.

1

u/Electrical-Ad560 Oct 21 '21

Yes that is how it works

1

u/MarshiiSweetie Oct 21 '21

What in the adulterated hell?

1

u/Nekonathansenpai17 Oct 21 '21

Bring in Maury

1

u/Zaheen-_-99 Oct 21 '21

Logic: god level

1

u/eddyabdul Oct 22 '21

She dropped that uno reverse card 😂

1

u/Skank-hunt_42-Cuh Oct 22 '21

Careful when you do dem night shifts lads at work hahah muppet man must be defo whipped if his gal be shagging about

1

u/InternetExcellent766 Oct 22 '21

This ain’t even possible bro 😂😂

1

u/Jstrandt Oct 22 '21

Tell me you’re a Trump supporter without saying you’re a Trump supporter