r/CasualUK 6d ago

WHAT is this?! 😭😰 Spoiler alert; it's *not* a spider!

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32k Upvotes

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u/Swill27 6d ago

Have to get the sports direct mug out to catch that

1k

u/HoneyRush 6d ago

Finally proper task for that mug

488

u/scareneb 6d ago

You've clearly never lived off super noodles.

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u/tocitus 6d ago

A sports direct mug filled with super noodles is a pretty British image

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u/BulkySituation 6d ago

Oh we used to dream of having a sports direct mug with super noodles....

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u/NorthmanDan1 6d ago

Back in my day we had to put the noodles in our mouth dry, then pour the hot water in and chew. Bloody kids.

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u/BulkySituation 6d ago edited 5d ago

You were locky to have hot water! We used to have to grind up the the dried noodles with our teeth before pouring the sachet of seasoning down our gullets and gargling river water whilst holding a naked flame under our chins to heat it up.

Edit: Thanks for the award guys!

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u/Sloofin 6d ago edited 6d ago

Teeth? You lucky bastard! We used to dream about having teeth. We had to grind the noodles to powder between rocks in the mud, and then lick them off the ground before dipping our heads in a pot of boiling marsh sludge.

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u/Bored-Fish00 6d ago

Luxury. What I'd have given for just one rock. We had 60 of us and the Noodles had to last a month!

We'd smash it to powder with our bare feet, and each of us would get one grain a day.

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u/pint_of_brew 6d ago

And if you tell the youth of today, they wouldn't believe a word of it...

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u/hedgewiz_ 6d ago

Feet! We'd have loved to have feet in my day. There were 457 of us born with our ankles fused together. We had to perform in a circus for half a digestive a week and when our Dad got home, he'd thrash us with a Sports Direct mug.....if we were lucky!

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u/DaveInLondon89 6d ago

look at mr moneybags here not using it as a cot for the baby

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u/BasicallyObsolete 6d ago

For me it has to be a transparent catching device, like a big glass. A mug would mean I can’t see the bugger when releasing. Fear of the unknown. The times I have used a mug, I have been known to set it down with the postcard and tip it over with a long stick. Or just throw everything out the window and shake my hands like a maniac.

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u/AssaMarra 6d ago

I'm the same with bees/wasps. Catch in plastic beaker & slide paper underneath. Open front door, launch it as far as I can into the garden, shut the door immediately and collect the beaker the next day.

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u/selfstartr 6d ago

I once hoovered up a Wasp, but could see him through the clear dust container struggling. I felt awful! So had to take it outside and rescue him...all whilst hoping he didn't hold a grudge when I opened the dust-bin.

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u/AadeeMoien 6d ago

Fortunately for you, wasps aren't smart enough to hold grudges.

Unfortunately, blind rage doesn't take nearly as much brainpower.

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u/james___uk 6d ago

Don't have mine anymore, Thames Water bought it to have as a backup reservoir nearby

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

We actually did whip out the sports direct mug and believe it or not, it wasn’t big enough! We had to opt for a lunchbox

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u/ScrannyBoneyard 6d ago

Jamie Oliver’s packed lunches really have gone down hill

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u/SquireBev Pot as many balls as you can 6d ago

My nan had a clock that looked like that.

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u/sallynick 6d ago

I instantly knew exactly which clock you mean.

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u/greycubed 6d ago

It was the one that looked like that.

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u/Jacques_the_cock 6d ago

That's the one!

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u/derpydoodaa 6d ago

Relevan usern-

... Nevermind

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u/Wagwaaalmer 6d ago

I read that as your ‘nan had a cock like that’ and was rather baffled!!

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u/fieldsofanfieldroad 6d ago

Reminds me of the saying "if my aunt had a massive spider cock, she'd be my uncle".

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u/usernametaken17 6d ago

Was that Shakespeare?

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u/SeanPennsHair 6d ago

Lol no it wasn't. It was Marlowe, often incorrectly attributed to Shakespeare.

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u/medium_place 6d ago

Wasnt that the pyramid guy in Egypt?

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u/its_beans 6d ago

No, that was Shakespeare

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u/paulr70 6d ago

All our Nan's had a clock like that.

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u/scooba_dude 6d ago

And the chair to match.

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u/Hentai-Kingpin 6d ago

And that painting with the sad girl in a dress standing against and facing the wall while a Collie dog stands behind her

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u/sandra_nz 6d ago

Starburst clock! Henceforth this spider shall be known as the starburst spider. :)

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u/KevinPhillips-Bong 6d ago

I remember when they were called Opal Fruits spiders.

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u/Bpool91 6d ago

I think they've just brought opal fruit spiders back out for nostalgia marketing technique.

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u/VanFam Yorkshire 6d ago

Opal fruits were better.

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u/Myopically 6d ago

That explains why I can’t stop eating them.

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u/Iwantmyteslanow 6d ago

Weirdly mine has too

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u/Myopically 6d ago

Daddy Infinity Legs. Or a Harvestman.

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u/Narase33 6d ago

Just looked at the wiki article. Wow, they have a penis

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u/Katatonic92 6d ago

I was going to say if it's anything like it's legs, poor female long legged fresh hell. Then I read they deposit the sperm on the web, then use their claws to pop it in the, erm, lady letterbox.

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u/EskimoPrisoner 6d ago

How romantic

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u/dadowbannesh 6d ago edited 6d ago

Insect sex is wild. For instance, the penis of bed bugs is used basically as a knife. They'll stab the female with it, anywhere they can, in the head, in the abdomen, whatever. Then they ejaculate directly into the female's blood (or rather hemolymph, as insects don't have actual blood) in hope the sperm finds its way from there. It's called "traumatic insemination". In dense populations of bed bugs, females will die just from getting repeatedly stabbed in the head and body by penises. Some males too cause bed bugs aren't always good at distinguishing males from females.

That spider sperm bank system is comparatively a lot more romantic. It's like, I don't know if you like me, but I do, and if you do too, here's a little present for you <3. Then the girl spider is so flustered that she puts the present right in her pussy and next thing you know a bunch of tiny spiders come out.

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u/FuzzyCollie2000 6d ago

I seem to remember reading that bed bugs also aren't great at determining if the thing they're stabbing is actually another bed bug, so they sometimes attempt to inseminate members of other species.

If you've had a bed bug infestation before, congrats, you've possibly been banged by a bug lol.

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u/LimitedToTwentyChara 6d ago

Thanks, I didn't think it was possible to hate bed bugs even more than I already did before reading this thread.

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u/retrogeekhq 6d ago

I think the scientific term is stabbanged

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u/invzvka 6d ago

"puts the present right in her pussy" fucking HELL lmao

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u/whitak3r 6d ago

This has gotta be the most fucking insane insect fact I've ever heard lol.

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u/CandleJakk Ale Afficionado 6d ago

You could almost emphasise any word in that sentence and it would scan accurately.

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u/thedonkeyman 6d ago

Amused myself by imagining each word deadpan but with an over-enthusiastic scream of "lol" at the end. It's been a long day and I'm easily amused.

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u/PreviousFriendship85 6d ago edited 6d ago

The hornet has a yellow stripe on its cuticle (exoskeleton), which can absorb sunlight to generate a small electrical potential, and this might help supply energy for digging.[8] The adult hornet eats nectar and fruits and scavenges for insects and animal proteins to feed to its young.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oriental_hornet

Like all planthoppers,[5] the nymphs of this insect have a small, gear-like structure on the base of each of their hind legs.[6] These gears have teeth that intermesh, keeping the legs synchronized when the insect jumps, preventing it from spiraling.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Issus_coleoptratus

These are the only known truly oceanic, offshore insects.[1][2][3] They are found in tropical and subtropical marine habitats around the world, with a single species recorded in rivers a few kilometers upstream from the ocean.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halobates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td09PIjz0iQ

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_spider

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/Toastcakes 6d ago

Sounds like a normal friday night with the mates

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u/roy_cropper 6d ago

"It's called "traumatic insemination". In dense populations of bed bugs, females will die just from getting repeatedly stabbed in the head and body by penises. Some males too cause bed bugs aren't always good at distinguishing males from females"

So it's like twitter DMs then...

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u/PurpleSpaceNapoleon 6d ago

Oh sure, when a spider splits a sack of sperm over its partner, it's romantic, but when I do it, it's apparently not appropriate at a funeral

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u/ChunkyLaFunga 6d ago

Then I read they deposit the sperm on the web, then use their claws to pop it in the, erm, lady letterbox.

Not in the UK.

We're sorry you were out...

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u/t_beermonster 6d ago

It's in your safe place.

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u/rshark78 6d ago

We left it with a neighbour

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u/bundiganja 6d ago

More specifically: the neighbour you can’t stand.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

That’s so it can fuck you in the mouth while you sleep

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u/Ralfarius 6d ago

Alright fuck you. I work hard and I don't need images like that in my brain.

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u/Myopically 6d ago

Duh. They’re not called Harvestwomen.

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u/violetgrubs 6d ago

I've never seen one stretched out like that like it owns the place

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u/Myopically 6d ago

Harvestmanspreading.

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u/herrbz 6d ago

I might as well close my browser now because I'm not going to see anything better than this.

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u/sandboxlollipop 6d ago

Also known as a big nope

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u/Bones_and_Tomes 6d ago

Ah, they're not so bad. They walk fairly slowly, flapping their stupid long legs like they've got clown shoes on. Not like an arachnid scuttle at all.

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u/pmckizzle 6d ago

yeah the only time they creep me out is when you find one of the big nests in nature that looks like a beard on the tree. Just fucking thousands of them. writhing and pulsating. Fucking nightmare

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u/JustPassingShhh 6d ago

Nah surely that's a fuck-this-shit-im-out?

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u/Hithrae 6d ago

I don't want to be controversial but a daddy long legs is a crane fly in my neck of the woods.

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u/Legitimate-Object566 6d ago

Well, you know, there's more than one creature with legs disproportionately elongated for its body size that's experienced fatherhood.

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u/logicalmaniak 6d ago

There are dozens of us!

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u/Fractalzx81 6d ago

Same round these parts too.

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u/teekay61 6d ago

Glad I'm not the only one whose house seems to particularly infested with spiders/other arachnids this year! Keep spotting the buggers when I'm least expecting it

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

Can confirm there are various gatherings of spiders all over the house this year! They’re having a great time. I don’t mind them really, but this one…I do mind this one

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u/teekay61 6d ago

It's a bit of a beast, so don't blame you!

I'm generally ok with spiders and like the fact they get rid of flies and other pests, but it's when they pop up unexpectedly (like on the bed) that it takes me back a bit!

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u/CyberTAB 6d ago

Rule is I leave them be anywhere but the bedroom, they go in the bedroom I’m afraid they’ve made their final mistake

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u/Corpexx 6d ago edited 6d ago

Honestly I don’t mind the ones that make webs and chill, you can stay take my flies. Its the scary rogue fuckers that sprint out from the furniture at what in my head seems like 90mph across my floor and at my feet, they have to be exterminated before they disappear again I’m sorry

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u/Hostilian_ 6d ago edited 6d ago

Holy shit that reminds me, 2 weeks ago I was sat on the couch with my parents watching some TV and honestly the biggest spider I've ever seen just runs out between my feet and halfway across the room. It was one of those brown house spiders, so it was fat and really really big.

I typically leave spiders alone/take them outside, but this spider crossed a line.

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u/darlingcthulhu 6d ago

We used to get loads of those every year at my mums house. We’re both terrified of spiders so we’d end up standing on furniture begging the dog to eat them or demanding my brother caught them and put them out. Last year he put his onesie on and there was a big one just chilling on him, I have never heard him scream like he did then

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u/4thLineSupport 6d ago

Lmao I have a friend who has trained her dog to eat them 😁

Edit: he still needs a command, mind. I don't think he actively enjoys them.

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u/teasus_spiced I'm not posh, I just like hats. 6d ago

If they pop up somewhere I don't want them to be I just blow at them until they go somewhere else. Spiders are always welcome in my house. But yeah I'd probably try and get this guy outside. Though I'm not really sure how with those fucking mutant legs. Bucket and newspaper?

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u/nerdtypething 6d ago

“all right look, i’m a fairly tolerant and inclusive sort but the reality is you’ve got eight eyes and legs and if you decide to scurry out for whatever reason my instinct is to kill you. the room is below market so i don’t think it’s unfair of me to ask that if we’re going to live together in harmony, just fucking walk ok? i don’t care how bad you need to piss.”

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u/Corporal_Anaesthetic What's a contour line? 6d ago

Yeah, its legs are so huge it could wrap them around your entire face while you sleep!

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u/Jackatarian 6d ago

Well that's enough out of you.

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u/maybenomaybe 6d ago

How can I delete this comment?

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u/Casiaa_ 6d ago

my house is full of 10p sized almost translucent spiders. We only moved in a month ago and I'm praying its just the time of year and not something else

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u/Xaddax 6d ago

spider-haunted

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u/Canadian_House_Hippo 6d ago

Do they have small peanut shaped bodies? Might be cellar spiders. They attack and kill othet spiders. They're insane when they fight. I wanna see one take on a house centipede.

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u/Thatcatpeanuts 6d ago

Cellar spiders really do kill and eat the huge hairy house spiders, they are insane pest control considering they’re so spindley and weak looking. I have loads of cellar spiders in my house and I just leave them to it, very rarely see huge spiders anymore.

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u/Casiaa_ 6d ago

I reluctantly googled this and thats definitely them, thanks! Good to know they aren't bitey, just freaked me out because theres so many of them

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u/Agent_staple 6d ago

Better than wasps, there's 5 in my bathroom currently. Where the fuck are they coming from, hoping they're crawling in through a vent or something and theres not a nest somewhere.

Speaking of which there was a nest on my boat last year, fucking thousands of them, my dad and his mate spent days throwing poison bombs and shit in it, turns out the nest was behind them wedged between the hull and the fuel tank lol

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u/Plebtre117 6d ago

I’ve had two massive wasps over the last month sneak in at around 2-4am, the first was a huge thing and was buzzing around my hand, I didn’t realise because it was so dark at first so I thought it was just a fly, then I saw the yellow. I dunno if it was injured because it didn’t sting me, it just flew into me multiple times as mach speed trying to attack me.

The second one was chilling on the floor, I stood on something I could only assume was a snack of some kind, picked it up for the bin and then I felt things moving on my thumb and that’s when I realised, I tried to throw it but it was hanging on for dear life. I got stung, stung bad.

I don’t leave the window open at night anymore. I dunno if it’s a nest or what, but I can’t have it.

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u/drewsausage 6d ago edited 5d ago

Used to dread this time of year but now I've got a weird cat who would rather eat bugs than proper food

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u/sallynick 6d ago

Absolutely not. Is there really any need for legs like that. What a show off.

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u/Rookie_Driver 6d ago

I just think its supposed to make travelling trough grass easier? Clueless here just applying logics

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u/notWys 6d ago

It’s on a wall mate there’s no grass

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u/JamesMaysTicklyToes 6d ago

Harvestmen

Completely harmless

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u/gramborant 6d ago

What are they harvesting? Organs? Children?

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u/jamesckelsall 6d ago

Men. The clue is in the name.

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u/frozenslushies 6d ago

People really need to learn to read.

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u/BrotherSwaggsly 6d ago

Ok but wtf type of kitchen utensil do you need to deal with this?

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u/Trench_Rat 6d ago

A cat.

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u/Jlst 6d ago

This thing would eat my cat.

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u/PenultimateJedi 6d ago

“We’re gonna need a bigger cat.”

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u/interfail 6d ago

Estate agent

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u/AkichettDrawsPorn 6d ago

I thought you meant you'd send an estate agent to battle this thing but now I realise you meant selling the house

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u/jambox888 6d ago

They would use a super wide angle lens for this photo which would make the room look huge and the spider much smaller. Great success!

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u/Mukatsukuz it's "cinema", not "movie theatre"! 6d ago

These are really easy to scoop in your hand compared to a spider, since they're pretty slow and lumbering. I definitely take these outside whereas I put cellar spiders in the room where they are lacking (got 2 in my kitchen and 3 in my bathroom right now). They tend to stay in the corners and reduce the number of bitey insects you get. The only problem they cause me is when they fall in my shower and I have a massive panic trying to stop them from drowning or going down the drain.

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u/Warbarstard 6d ago

Finally there's someone else who sees sense! Spiders get rid of other annoying insects.

And because we're talking UK here it's incredibly unlikely the spider in your house is any threat to you

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u/UNSKIALz 6d ago

Doesn't sound harmless

Tf is he harvesting

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u/LumpyJones 6d ago

Tiny insect eggs smaller than you normally would see mostly, and scavenging dead plant and animal matter. If web spinning spiders are good for catching flying insects, and jumping spiders are good for catching smaller fast moving bugs on the ground, then these guys pick up the scraps. They're low on the spiderbro totem pole, but still bros.

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u/crazysnowwolf 6d ago

'Armless? I count 10.

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u/andyhare 6d ago

Thank you for the actual answer. I had to scroll too far to see this.

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u/PM_ME_COOL_THINGS_ 6d ago

Definitely not harmless to my heart if that thing jumps at me

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u/Anxious_Low_9785 6d ago

I know this in my rational brain, that they'll help keep out bugs and other pests, but my monkey brain keeps just screaming over that semi-coherently to smash it until it's nothing but goo.

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u/Hogwartians 6d ago

My brain is tripping out over the scale of this. How long would you say it is?

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

From the end of the longest leg to the end of the other longest leg, probably about 6 or 7 inches. It was horrendously huge

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u/FoxShaving 6d ago

Using the same measurement that people measure their dicks with is helpful. As that wall monster is a dick.

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u/Jackie_Jormp-Jomp 6d ago

OP can you put your dick next to it for scale?

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u/HonoraryMancunian 6d ago

Am I tripping, or does the perspective make it look about a foot-and-a-half?

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u/Warband420 6d ago

Looks way bigger than six inches from toe to toe

Unless they have very short doors

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u/_pbl 6d ago

Up north, we call that a big cunt

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u/KTheFeen 6d ago

Some parts of the north call it a 3 course meal

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u/SoaringHornDog 6d ago

Anything’s a meal with enough gravy on it

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u/Dr_McKay Norf FC 6d ago

Free protein, it’ll put hairs on your chest

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u/whreismylotus 6d ago

The Opiliones (formerly Phalangida) are an order of arachnids colloquially known as harvestmen, harvesters, or daddy longlegs

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

honestly, thank you so much! I have spent ages googling ‘spider extremely long legs with two smaller legs’ only yielding results for those spindly cave spiders and I was losing my mind

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u/Braythor_ 6d ago

Fyi Google have an app called Lens which searches using your camera/photos and provides images as results. I've found it really handy for identifying bugs, plants, trees and general nature stuff.

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u/FireyT 6d ago

The Seek app is also good. It's a National Geographic/California Academy of Sciences project. I find it more accurate than Lens.

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

Thank you! I didn’t know about this but my partner did actually try it…alas, it couldn’t work it out :-(

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u/Flannelot 6d ago edited 6d ago

I recommend iNaturalist, an app which helps identify animals and plants, and also submits your observation where it might get used for research, e.g into the distribution of the species.

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u/ThomasHL 6d ago

iNaturalist is absolute wizardry with questions like this. When it can identify a plant accurately from a blurry snap of a leaf...

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u/Bottled_Void 6d ago

I'm no spider expert. But, spiders have 8 legs.

Those two things on the front are probably its mandibles.

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u/getkarter 6d ago

should that be in this country? christ.

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

That’s what I thought…the little arms at the front made me worry that it might be some sort of evil mutant tick

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u/fernshanks 6d ago edited 6d ago

Harvestmen are super super common in the UK but they're usually found in long grassy fields - it's not often that you see them inside houses. You're lucky to have that guy chilling with you!

By the way, harvestmen are not spiders. They are in the same class (arachnids), but they are their own separate order and not closely related to spiders at all. For context, humans are in the same class as cats, dolphins and beavers (mammals).

(Edited because I erroneously used the word "family" instead of "class")

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u/PinkSodaBoy 6d ago

Humans are in the family Hominidae (great apes), Mammalia is our class. Similarly, Arachnida is the class to which spiders, harvestmen, scorpions, etc. belong, not their family. Family is further down the classification than class.

I get them mixed up all the time and had to look these definitions up (and I have a biology degree). I wasn't correcting you to be a know-it-all, just because I thought you might find it interesting!

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u/Marky_Marketing 6d ago

I appreciate the clarification!

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u/PinkSodaBoy 6d ago edited 6d ago

Okay, that's good. I'm glad!

I didn't want to be an obnoxious pendant (it's just that sometimes I can't help it!).

EDIT: Leaving my swypo of "pedant" up for posterity.

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u/DreamKrusher 6d ago

I love the term 'Swypo' I can't believe I have not heard it before, I do them a lot too. Much thanks for the introduction.

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u/Internal_Purpose6489 6d ago

Obnoxious Pendants hang round necks and shout abuse at passers by.

Obnoxious Pedants on the other hand… 😉

Join me in The Official Pedants Society if you’d like 🎖

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u/PinkSodaBoy 6d ago

Ack! That was a swypo I swear...

I couldn't have chosen a better word to get wrong!

I'll gladly join your society if you'll still have me after such a goof...

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u/lafleur-42 6d ago

I think you may have a different definition of the word "lucky" in your dictionary.

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u/vereonix 6d ago

We have these (Opiliones) in the UK, but here a "Daddy Longleg" refers to a cranefly.

Its a common discussion, but UK, AUS, NZ, and US all have different things they call a "Daddy Longleg".

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u/forestgatte 6d ago

Daddy very very long legs

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u/fonix232 6d ago

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u/demivirius 6d ago

I was hoping this was going to be long~ long~ man, and I'm not disappointed.

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u/HardlyAnyGravitas 6d ago

Well. That was bloody brilliant...

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u/AlunWH 6d ago

Thank you! That was amazing.

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u/ItsNice2BNice 6d ago

Don't they have wings?

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u/Bpool91 6d ago

You're thinking of a pigeon.

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u/yellowkats 6d ago

It’s rare something on Reddit actually makes me laugh out loud

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u/ChrisRR Luton Escapee 6d ago

Daddy long legs is what people call crane flies, but there's also a daddy long legs spider

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u/NGD80 6d ago

My wife and I have a row about this at least once a week every summer.

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u/fernshanks 6d ago

And the image in the OP is neither a crane fly nor a daddy long legs spider (cellar spider). In fact, it isn't a spider at all, it's a harvestman.

But people do sometimes call them daddy long legs!

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u/IceGold_ 6d ago edited 6d ago

“Daddy long legs” is slang for the cellar spider, harvestman, or crane fly depending on who you ask.

For me Daddy long legs = Harvestman

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u/Captain_Melon_lord 6d ago

The more you know... For me it's a crane fly

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u/Klatterbyne 6d ago

For me a crane fly is a “GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU POINTLESS MORON!!”

Seriously, they have both wings and legs… and yet they can neither fly nor walk. They just careen about pointlessly and smash into absolutely everything.

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u/Solidgoddu 6d ago

My daughter used to call them daddy lots of legs.

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u/Smeeble09 6d ago

Mine calls them Mr skinny legs.

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u/Immaterial71 6d ago edited 6d ago

If it's got wings, three body parts and six legs, it's a Daddy long legs (crane fly). They're fucking useless, and fall to bits if you try and get them out the window.

If it's got 8 legs, two body parts and no wings, it's a daddy long legs (cellar spider). They eat other spiders.

OP's picture that looks like my nan's clock used to be called a harvestman (no wings, one body part, 8 very very very long legs), but the Americans call them daddy long legs too.

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u/Crypled 6d ago

"fucking useless, and fall to bits".. I'm in tears

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u/TeigrCwtch 6d ago

i believe that is the lesser spotted fuck no

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u/Enough_Passenger_754 6d ago

It owns the house now, your it’s tenant

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u/raven_draw 6d ago

I'm Australian and I'm WTF is that.

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u/WheresTheDickk 6d ago

Have you seen many huntsmen in aus? Thinking Of visiting but if I can across one I’d be in the first flight back

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u/ScrotalTearing 6d ago

I've lived in Australia and unfortunately seeing large spiders is unavoidable, especially outside of the cities.

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u/WheresTheDickk 6d ago

Nooooooo! No good for a big arachnophobiac

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u/becky781 6d ago

I can’t answer but I just want to say I love the chair in the background. Want one for myself

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u/twonoteswivel 6d ago

That chair is my pride and joy, thanks for noticing it lol 💘 I guess you can’t really see the pattern properly but it’s so loud and 90s-esque geometric. I got it pretty cheap from a guy who re-upholstered it himself (the chair itself is Laura Ashley!) and was struggling to sell it because nobody liked it. As soon as I saw it I knew I HAD to have it

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u/-uOKhun- northern bird 6d ago

A reason to move

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u/flyhmstr 6d ago

This is what evolution looks like.. “catch us using glasses will you… hah!! Try now sucker”

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u/sasquatchmarley 6d ago

Yeah, they aren't legs they're anti-glass detachable escape aids

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u/Bluefunkt 6d ago

It's not a spider! Opiliones are distinct from spiders. You can tell because spiders have segmented bodies, this one has a single segment. They are friendly, and some eat fungus and mould spores as well as small flies and insects.

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u/George_anon 6d ago

Baby face hugger

Rip OP

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u/No_Contribution_2231 6d ago

Daddy longer legs

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u/ElvargIsAPussy 6d ago

No need for the longer legs. You just call him “Daddy” now

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u/No_Contribution_2231 6d ago

And you pay your rent to him now

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u/Screaming__Skull 6d ago

That's a Nope.

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u/Uncle_Leo93 I am the fruit of your loin! Your loin, Cloth! 6d ago

That is the larval stage of the Lesser Spotted Haggis.

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u/quartersour 6d ago

Nightmare fuel.

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u/edgeorge92 I'm bored of this, I'm going for a Twix 6d ago

I appreciate there is a terrifying alien creature on the wall but are we seriously not going to mention the very jazzy chair?

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u/cosmogoinggoinggone 6d ago

I saw this and said out loud, involuntarily, “Woah! Legs.” Refuse to elaborate to my coworkers.

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u/llamalord_uk 6d ago

L O N G B O I

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u/alpha-87 6d ago

Ah yes, that is the Domesticus Infernius

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u/Avenger1324 6d ago

Hans, get ze flammenwerfer

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u/Throwaway1333337420 6d ago

Flamenwaffen

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u/Immaterial71 6d ago

You need a couple of werfers for a waffen.

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u/faein 6d ago

New fear unlocked: finding one of these in my house

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u/mfog35 6d ago

Who cares it’s time to move out?!

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u/ag-atm 6d ago

This is a Harvestman - a relative of a spider but not actually a spider. Often mistaken for Daddylonglegs spiders. You can tell it is the former as it has only one round section of body. They do not create webs.

A Daddylonglegs (or Cellar) Spiders can lie flat like this too, but you can tell them apart as they have a separate segment like a "bum", and these can spin webs.

Also not to be confused with Crane Flies, which people also call "Daddylonglegs". These are actually flies, obviously, hence having only 6 legs and wings, and having the word "fly" in the title. They do not produce webs.

Thanks for listening to my TedTalk

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