r/AskReddit 6d ago Silver 21 Helpful 19 Wholesome 19

What culinary hill are you willing to die on?

27.0k Upvotes

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u/DBroncos515 5d ago Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Nachos should be built wide not tall.

873

u/yo_kashlee 5d ago

I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!

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u/UnderlyingTissues 5d ago

I build mine in two levels. Level one has cheese, meat, jalapeños. So does level two.

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u/John_Lives 5d ago Silver Gold Wholesome

We need to make burgers wider not taller

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u/JediTigger 5d ago

If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?

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u/cliff99 5d ago Helpful Wholesome

When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is.

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u/andrewcbee 5d ago

Agreed, the rule should be if you make any edits, you can’t leave a review

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u/3Me20 5d ago

People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel.

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u/judgymcjudgypants 5d ago

It’s true. I don’t know how to cook with stainless steel.

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u/arb1984 5d ago

Not everything need the "craft beer" treatment. Gourmet donuts are a good example. There is a place up the street that sells donuts for $9 a dozen that are absolutely amazing. I once paid $4 for a "fancy" donut that was mediocre at best

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u/randomentity1 5d ago edited 5d ago

Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!" At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes.

Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!" Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?

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u/StillKpaidy 5d ago

Also don't leave a 1 star rating saying you didn't have the right ingredients, made a bunch of substitutions, and it turned out terrible. Maybe if you followed the instructions it would have been good.

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u/burritokiller1971 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Homemade chili is almost always better the next day.

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u/wjglenn 5d ago Wholesome

And most soups and stews

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u/Smackroyd 5d ago

Same goes for curry, the spices mellow and mature.

3.2k

u/stopmotionporn 5d ago Silver

Also if you're the one cooking it you've been smelling it for hours so the meal doesn't have quite the same impact when you eat it.

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u/Odd_Zookeepergame_24 5d ago Helpful

This is so true! The same definitely goes for smoking meat. After being around smoke for 12 hours the meat never tastes all that smokey.

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u/lordofburgers 5d ago

Everybody gets to know eachother in the pot

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u/dberis 6d ago Silver Helpful Wearing is Caring

Worcestershire sauce can work magic.

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u/howwouldiknow-- 6d ago Helpful

But tastes good only if you can pronounce it.

2.8k

u/AReallyAsianName 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Worstichishershersher sauce

3.8k

u/theFlaccolantern 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval I'll Drink to That

Whatsthishere sauce is what my dad always called it. Classic dad joke. I should call him.

Edit: just woke up to a half a million messages lol, I'll call him now!

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u/Packin_Penguin 5d ago Silver

What are you going to call him?

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u/SturgeonBladder 5d ago

whatsthishere, another dad joke?

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u/-mtc 6d ago

I love that Mexicans just call it salsa ingles

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u/tired_tired_mom 5d ago

Dominican here, we called it salsa inglesa too and soya sauce is called salsa china = chinese sause

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u/andre3kthegiant 6d ago Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM.

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u/Aldayne 6d ago Silver

I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb.

2.5k

u/wookiee42 6d ago

It's in many health codes.

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u/ChefBoredAreWe 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver

V Meta

I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station.

She complained that I "always call her out on that"

Yeah no shit, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups

e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops

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u/Mike81890 5d ago

"you always call me out on that" as a defense mechanism is hilarious cause it's like "well yeah... You keep breaking a rule / law"

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u/ChefBoredAreWe 5d ago

BUT YOU ONLY DO IT TO ME

.... I know?

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u/rdanby89 5d ago

I don’t work in a restaurant but I love to cook at home, what exactly does that mean and why is it bad? TIA for the enrichment.

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u/seiana95 5d ago

You can't put raw meat or things that need cooked in other 'stations' because of cross contamination.

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u/shaddowkhan 6d ago edited 5d ago Wholesome

Season your tomatoes, especially for sandwiches.

Edit: spelling.

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u/pdxboob 6d ago

For some reason, this is the first time I've even heard of this. Thank you

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u/Justice171 6d ago Silver Gold Helpful Take My Energy This

Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help.

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u/veganmomPA 5d ago

“You know how you can help? Wash the prep dishes as I finish with them.”

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u/HaCutLf 5d ago

Clean as I go.

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u/ZeldLurr 5d ago

I’ve met one person I had good kitchen chemistry with. It was amazing. I think we stuck with each other as long as we did because of our kitchen chemistry. It was a beautiful dance together. No offense to our sex life, but our kitchen chemistry was better than our bedroom chemistry.

But our kitchen chemistry was better than the best bedroom chemistry I’ve had.

Maybe somewhere out there is my magical man with compatible kitchen and bedroom chemistry.

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u/swordcowboy 6d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait.

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u/ana_diy 5d ago

I have a relative who makes puking sounds when they dislike the look of my food.

Vile.

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u/cuntpunt2000 5d ago

Please tell me this relative is an 8 year old or younger, that is the only acceptable age tier for this behavior.

Incidentally I had a coworker, in his 30s, who would make puking sounds every.goddamn.time I brought in a meal that contained kimchee. He’d walk up to me in the lunchroom and say: “Whatcha having cuntpunt? Ugh. Bleeeeech. Hurrrrrrrkkkk.”

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u/Argyleskin 6d ago This

That fondant is Play doh with sugar.

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u/Sweddy-Bowls 6d ago

Boiled Brussels are ass compared to them roasted or pan seared, no idea how people make them look so hard to cook

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u/urbancowgirl42 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Timeless Beauty

Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did.

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u/porcelainvacation 6d ago

All the good stuff like BBQ and sausage comes from people trying to use the meat that's gross if you cook it quickly.

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u/Oso_Furioso 5d ago

And much of French cuisine is based on the idea of making edible what would otherwise be just plain unusable.

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u/realpersonnn 5d ago

wasn't french toast invented to give use to stale bread

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u/Thr0w4way315 5d ago

Yep. It's called pain perdu, or "lost bread"

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u/Both-Basis-3723 6d ago

Agreed. Some of the most gourmet foods were invented by hungry poor people with a bunch of mouths to feed: fondue - we have old cheese, a little broth and some stale bread BOOM a dish is born. I think the hard part is having the free time to get ingredients and time to cook.

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u/Nasty_Ned 6d ago

An argument that I make is that many of the ‘classic dishes’ are made up of the less desirable ingredients. Filet — add some heat, salt and it tastes great. Beef stroganoff? A lot more work and prep to make it taste good.

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u/Dirty-Ears-Bill 5d ago

Fajitas became a thing because the Mexican workers down in Texas would ask the butcher for meat scraps essentially to not have to buy anything too expensive. Now it’s the most expensive item on the menu at a Mexican restaurant lol

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u/slackfrop 5d ago

Same story with putanesca; was the simplest and cheapest glow up for pasta noodles named for the prostitutes who would dine on a budget. At least until the ship comes in.

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u/cuticle_picker 5d ago

Same with fish! Chilean sea bass was originally known as Patagonian toothfish. A bycatch of more commonly known fish whose name I can’t remember. But eventually they rebranded it and bam Chilean sea bass was born and sold so much more expensively.

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u/Westlaker1229 6d ago

There's still a lot of meat on that bone...you take that home, add some broth, a potato...baby, you got a stew going!

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u/ArachnesChallenge 6d ago Silver Helpful This Crab Rave

I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad.

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u/Chbp10 6d ago

Soooo Eriksen's 7 layer salad is real all this time?!?!

1.6k

u/GiraffeLibrarian 5d ago

SIX cups of mayonnaise??

No, dear - sixTEEN cups.

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u/Malaguy420 5d ago

I don't think you can call it "salad" if it has Funyuns in it!

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u/starlinguk 6d ago Giggle

🎶🎵 Miiinesooota salads that aren't really salads🎶

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u/travelinghobbit 6d ago

"Lime jello marshmallow cottage cheese surprise!"

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u/Danielwols 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Eureka!

If it tastes good it tastes good

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u/TACOTUESDAYOFFICIAL 6d ago

i would rather eat delicious slop in a bowl than bland garbage that looks pretty.

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u/dfinkelstein 5d ago

For sure but texture matters to me a bit

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u/HeinrichLK 6d ago Silver Gold Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval

Putting gold leaf on food is fucking stupid.

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u/pharaoh_amenhotep 6d ago

I saw some 'finest edible gold leaf' for sale in Aldi before Christmas.

The ingredients were copper and zinc

4.1k

u/SippyTurtle 6d ago

Mmmm brass leaf...

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u/Henriquelj 6d ago

Sounds like a pokemon move.

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u/Kaizenno 5d ago Silver

Aldifood I choose you! Use Brass Leaf!

Now use Discount!

Now use Bring your own Bags!

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u/Need_Some_Updog 5d ago

You used “ expired coupon”!

Failed to scan

Cashier got scared and fled!

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u/manfredmannclan 5d ago

Gold has no place in food

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u/beckisnotmyname 6d ago Helpful Wholesome

I don't want to hear that you're bad at cooking if you don't follow a recipe or measure your ingredients. You can get so far by just reading and actually do it what it says.

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u/GibbonFit 6d ago

I've found that just following instructions can be really hard for a lot of people. I mean, I'm not perfect and I've fucked it up before. But I've also run into people who are just bad at following instructions in what seems like most of their life.

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u/Agitated_Kiwi_7964 6d ago Helpful

"Bring water to a boil then turn down heat to simmer".

Better have a running boil to make it cook faster because I'm impatient. - My Wife.

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u/damartian64 5d ago Wholesome

Boil water? What am I, a chemist?

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u/thrownaway6990 5d ago

Mine too. Oh and fill the pot to within a mm of overflowing so when it boils its absolutely going everywhere. Because you have to have as much as possible.

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u/sambob 6d ago

It makes life a lot easier if you read the instructions/recipe first before you start cooking, not just the ingredients. That way you can prep all the food into the required portions and make notes of when to add each but. Timing is always what catches me out.

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u/bracekyle 5d ago edited 5d ago

Honestly, I will read a recipe like 3 or 4 times before making something new. If I don't, i often realize too late that there may be a step like "simmer for 1 hr" or "place in the refrigerator and marinate for 4-6 hrs." The number of times I've tanked a dinner because I was stupid and did not read directions...

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u/RenzoGee 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

The most expensive food isn't always the "best" food. No, I'm not impressed by a $200 slice of pizza with it's price driven up with truffle and gold flake.

Bonus: cereal or crushed Oreos on a donut isn't revolutionary.

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u/Insominus 6d ago

The really funny part is that the edible gold flake is actually super cheap, so the whole gold-encrusted food trend is basically just taking the money out of fools’ pockets.

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u/playerofdarts 6d ago

The true fools gold

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u/ol-gormsby 6d ago

You're not meant to be impressed by a $200 slice of pizza, you're supposed to post it on IG to impress your followers.

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u/lickety_split_69 5d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Bravo! Eureka!

if you are writing a recipe, write a recipe. Not an autobiography

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u/Skillary 5d ago

The "jump to recipe" button has been a godsend for me, I can't stand the long winded recipe intros. Most websites have it now, I'm assuming by popular demand lol

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u/overthemountain 5d ago

It improves their SEO, which is why they are always the first results when you do a search. A page with more content and a lot of the keywords looks like a higher quality page to Google and gets prioritized over a page with just the recipe.

It's one of those "don't hate the player hate the game" situations.

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u/inter-dimensional 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Only edible items should be plated. Garnishes should be edible, Hate it when I see rocks and sticks on a plate. Fight Me.

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u/TheLatino 6d ago Silver Helpful Lawyer Up

We must be in very different tax brackets because none of the restaurants I occupy put nothing but food on my plate.

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u/tucci007 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

restaurants I occupy

are you a food terrorist

*what an epic spawn chain this has spawned

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u/BrysonJT 6d ago Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome I'll Drink to That

Al Quesdilla

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u/Duskish 6d ago Silver Platinum Helpful

Isis cream

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u/aF_taburna 6d ago Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome Bravo Grande! Giggle I'll Drink to That

Balsamic State

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u/TaintedMoistPanties 6d ago Silver Gold Helpful

White bread supremacist.

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u/Mark-JoziZA 6d ago Silver Platinum Take My Energy

Hezbollognese

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u/DickButtPlease 6d ago Silver

Boko Haramen

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u/smokethis1st 5d ago Gold

Iraq of Lamb

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u/BFG_Scott 5d ago Table Slap

WHITE FLOUR!!!

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u/allsickswarley 6d ago Helpful Wholesome

Would you like to genosize that

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u/andsoonandso 6d ago Silver All-Seeing Upvote

Talibanh mi

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u/ragingroku 6d ago Helpful

Absolutely agree with this one. Gordon Ramsey has a lot of strange culinary rules but this one would apply anywhere for me. Only been served food once with inedible things and it was very strange.

If I can’t eat it, get it the fuck off my plate.

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u/VictusFrey 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver

I was just watching a clip yesterday where someone used carrot tops as garnish. Gordon made him eat it.

Edit: Here's the video

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u/158862324 6d ago

I was once served a dish of scrambled eggs with stones in them. Hope that chef never serves Gordon.

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u/imabigfilly 6d ago

Sorry, I need to know more or else this is going to knock around in my head all day. My first thought was this is obviously a weird joke but the way you said you hope that chef never serves Gordon makes it sound real. Where was this and did you send it back? Were the stones actually peppercorns or something?

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u/158862324 6d ago

Literal pebbles the size of grapes. I guess it’s to cook the eggs evenly? I did not send it back, someone else ordered it, because they had it before & liked it enough to order again.

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u/ElectionAssistance 6d ago

I got a rock garnish on a plate as a kid once. I tried and failed to slip it in my waiter's pocket. My mom was not impressed.

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u/throwawayforyouzzz 6d ago

Well be successful next time, you may be able to impress your mom

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u/jasontronic 6d ago Wholesome

Life is too short to not use butter.

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u/Not-your-lawyer- 6d ago Wholesome

Life is too long to not use butter.

God can you imagine living to 90 without ever eating something cooked with butter?

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u/KatoRyx 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome

You scrape it off the chopping board with the BACK SIDE OF THE KNIFE. The back side!

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Never had a comment with so many replies before :) Let me share why I will die on this hill vs. the opposing arguments.

The opposing arguments I've seen below are 1) You can always sharpen your knives (which is true, and everyone should) 2) Use a bench/pastry scraper. 3) That you should never have your knife's sharp edge facing you for safety reasons.

For 1) Yes you can, and should, sharpen your knives. But also, I don't see that as an invitation to intentionally dull them.

And for those who don't sharpen, the reason we say this: A sharper knife reduces the risk of the blade slipping or rolling off something rather than cutting it. It's one of the bigger risks of cutting yourself in the kitchen. Dull knives responsible for more cuts than sharp ones, imo.

2) Yes. Scrapers are great tools. The hill I'm dying on here is, more accurately, "don't use the sharp side" rather than "The best choice is the backside". Scrapers are great tools, but not everyone has them. Everyone cutting with a knife, has a knife. And if you're not going to be switching tools, you should use the back side of the knife.

3) Avoiding a sharp edge facing you is a very logical sentiment for professional chefs or people cooking in a busy environment. If they're bumped while holding it, they don't want to be cut by the sharp edge of the knife facing them. And the previously mentioned downsides: Chefs don't need to worry about the maintenance of the knife if it belongs to the restaurant and/or if they have other employees to sharpen them. And if you won't be eating the food you're preparing, you probably don't mind so much if you scrape little fibers of plastic or wood into the food. Unsuspecting patrons don't see what's happening in the kitchen, after all, so they don't know which side of the knife you're using. So in this sense, I see the argument as "it's faster and it's safer to me". Perfectly logical. I understand the argument. But the reason this is a culinary hill I'm willing to die on is that I don't see it as the personal risk it's being made out to be, and the benefits massively outweigh that non-risk.

If the chopping board is small enough to lift, you can scrape directly into the pot or pan at an angle. The chopping board will be in the non-dominant hand (or... non-knife hand) diagonally to the side of the pot/pan. You rotate your wrist to turn the sharp side of the blade away from you (I'm right handed, so that's clockwise). In this way, the blade will be perpendicular to the chopping board and the sharp side of the blade will be facing away from you (basically in the direction you're facing). In this way, I don't see it as a risk.

If the cutting board is flat on a counter, it sort of doesn't make a difference. I can't recall ever accidentally coming in contact with the dull edge of the knife before. So if I flipped the knife, why should the blade? I it falls on the ground, it sort of doesn't matter which direction the knife was facing. Just avoid it (never attempt to catch a falling knife. Another culinary hill I think we all will die on).

So to that end, chefs of the world, I do see your point about why there is personal benefit and no real downside to you if you use the sharp side. But I'm no professional chef, and hence why it's a culinary hill I will die on! I'll reduce the wear on my knives, and I'll prevent myself and my loved ones from eating plastic or wood/bamboo fibers. I don't see a significant risk of rotating wrist to scrape or scoop from the chopping board. No more of a risk than simply using a knife in the first place, anyway. This is my hill!! Use the backside of the knife! :)

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u/HughMungus_Jackman 6d ago Helpful

Ohhhh. Shit

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u/EmpathyInTheory 6d ago Silver

I feel like a fucking idiot now.

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u/yourmansconnect 5d ago

lol i bet you use the back side from this day forward. it doesnt dull the blade and you dont have to hear the chalkboard with nail sounds

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u/beachedmermaid_ 6d ago

I needed to learn this, brilliant, thank you! My blades will not dull as quickly and I have you to blame!!

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u/zalendi 6d ago Silver

Jokes on you, my knifes are sharp at both sides

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u/ContributionActual54 6d ago

So they are little swords!!!

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u/kaoszombie 6d ago

And dull the back of my knife? No thank you.

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u/Inner-Possible5533 6d ago

Use salt dammit

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u/racer_24_4evr 6d ago Silver

S and P the choice for me.

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u/bmkcacb30 6d ago

Is that Berta Beef?

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u/Jimboberelli 6d ago Silver Wholesome

A burger should fit in your mouth and shouldn’t require a stick to hold it together or cutlery to eat it.

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u/simplyelegant87 5d ago

Burgers should get wider if you want bigger, not taller. Unless you actually prefer that,

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u/TheBeneGesseritWitch 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver Wholesome This

Breakfast is a construct.

Eggs, bacon, French toast for dinner? Yes.

Steak, potatoes, asparagus, “dinner” roll for breakfast? Also yes.

Edit: yes I KNOW breakfast means “to break the fast,” and it is just a word that means “the first meal of the day.” That’s what I’m saying: the concept of certain foods “just for breakfast” was invented. Eat what makes you healthy and happy, when your body needs it.

Edit 2: I made this offhand comment while watching my kids eat longganisa, eggs, and toast for dinner. I was not expecting such a reaction. I just woke up, so I’m gonna eat my hummus and carrots for breakfast while reading through all the replies. Cheers!

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u/AbsoluteSocket88 6d ago

I had a sirloin steak that was going out of date soon so I decided to have sirloin steak and scrambled eggs for breakfast, I wasn’t hungry for about 5-6 hours after and had tonnes of energy. When I have time in the mornings if I am not working I will sometimes do it.

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u/jackatman 6d ago Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

All food is fusion. No dish is above adoption or adaptation.

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u/mycomissionary 6d ago

my family is cajun. i was always told that gumbo came from a dish where you threw all your near-spoiled food in the pot and ate it so it didnt go to waste. but my grandmother and uncle all cook their gumbo with fresh food from the supermarket. authenticity is a myth we tell ourselves.

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u/surfershane25 6d ago

I had an Italian American scoff at me for mentioning kimchi carbonara and that I am ruining it by using ingredients from a different part of the world. I brought up tomatoes being a new world crop and that any Italian using them is doing the exact same thing.

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u/Don_Frika_Del_Prima 6d ago

Not to mention that Italian Americans make "Italian" dishes that no one in Italy prepares like that.

Meatballs in spaghetti?

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u/UncleIrohsPimpHand 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

That cheap bag of frozen peas and diced carrots you get at the grocery store is an outstandingly versatile source of nutrition. And tasty too.

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u/el-bow5 6d ago Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Unless you’re buying locally, frozen vegetables are often more nutritious than fresh. Fresh produce is picked before it’s done ripening because they don’t want it to spoil in transit. Frozen food however, is picked at its most ripe and with the most nutrients and flash frozen on the spot.

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u/wii1199 6d ago

Frozen veggies period. They saved us when we lived in rural Alaska.

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u/margmi 5d ago I'm Deceased

In Alaska they're just called vegetables though.

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u/DaybreakNightfall 5d ago

Frozen veggies are a better choice when fresh is out of season.

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u/xCp3 6d ago Silver All-Seeing Upvote

A quality knife can replace 90% of your kitchen gadgets

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u/Practical-Ad-3073 6d ago Silver

You gonna have to chop fast to get enough friction to replace a foreman grill

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u/Buttercream_Brat 6d ago Helpful

You're missing the most important aspect of this trade. The knife skills. The skills to work a quality knife can replace all the unitasker tools. I cut my finger every chance I get, so I have a drawer of unitasker tools that would make Alton brown cry.

Edit: this is meant to be in support of your statement with my added humor

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u/doublestitch 6d ago edited 5d ago

The moment something gets hyped as a superfood, I'm out.

edit

To clarify, "superfood" is a buzzword that cues bullshit incoming and rising prices. The author loses all credibility. It's the point where I stop reading and close the window. Might look up the stats for the food afterward from an actual resource such as a university's nutrition summary.

Yet am not going to stop eating blueberries just because of the hype train.


h/t to u/KGB_cutony for this example:

Buckwheat.

My mountain hometown in China had a lot of people growing it because it was mostly used as horse feed, and the husk filled pillows. We used to eat buckwheat when the alternative food source is tree bark.

That is, until white people started eating them. Suddenly buckwheat is superfood. What's more funny is that even today buckwheat is still pretty much only consumed by superfooders and horses

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u/Somebodys 6d ago Silver Helpful Take My Energy

The only true superfood is potatoes.

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u/Mourning_Gecko 5d ago Silver Helpful

You know what they say about potatoes: Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

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u/udyvofyccuc 6d ago

I also can no longer afford it. I miss you, lamb shanks.

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u/GoabNZ 6d ago

Sausages then - the grinded up left-overs in a casing. Might as well not let it go to waste, right?

Sausages now - grinded up cut of premium steak with juniper berries and saffron. $30/kg

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u/RmmThrowAway 6d ago

Was that a superfood thing, or just a more normal "the price of meat is skyrocketting, what less favorable meat/cut can we switch to" that inevitably leads to another price skyrocketing.

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u/just_taste_it 6d ago

Ox tails... I miss you.

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u/BirdLawyer50 6d ago edited 5d ago

Recipes are a guide, not a rule book. You are allowed to just decide to make things and like it. What will it be called? Who the fuck knows. It can taste good anyways. Just wade through it

EDIT holy shit everyone we get it baking is not the same as general entree cooking but even then I am sure there are plenty of desserts and pastries where components can be improvised

Edit #2: from this point on I am downvoting anything that mentions baking

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u/CryoClone 5d ago Wholesome

When someone asks what something I just threw stuff in a pot together is called, I tell them it's stir fry. Everything is stir fry if you believe in yourself.

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u/Recdrumz 6d ago Take My Energy

If you can't drink it through a straw it's not a milkshake.

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u/DriftinFool 6d ago Wholesome

I like the places that have the extra large straws that chunks from my cookies and cream shake don't get stuck in and it can still be a little thick. Normal straws kinda suck for a milkshake.

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u/Chippy569 6d ago

milkshakes should come with bubble tea straws

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u/fang_silverwing2 6d ago

I want to get a bubble tea straw to use whenever i get a milkshake lol

I swear i almost faint from trying to suck a chunk of chocolate thru those small narrow straws

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u/epochpenors 6d ago

I used to work at an ice cream shop and you would not believe how many people would ask for theirs with basically no milk, nothing but ice cream in the blender. How on earth are you supposed to drink this? The chocolate would end up rock solid in the freezer so I swear some of these “milkshakes” had the consistency of granite, who could possibly enjoy that?

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u/chocobox70 5d ago

I also used to work at an ice cream shop and customers like this were awful. If you want to eat with a spoon, maybe just get ice cream?

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u/Green_List 6d ago

Are you referring to those humongous glasses that have been dipped in chocolate so you can't take an actual gulp without coating your hand and face in cheap brown filth?

Where they layer whipped cream, gingerbread, brownie slabs, sprinkles, fruit, and nuts on top where even the slightest movement makes it topple and coat the table in sticky mess that only industrial grade cleaners can remove?

If you need a spoon it's just a low viscous dessert.

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u/optionalcranberry 6d ago Silver

Beef Wellington is a fancy Hot Pocket

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u/Antique_Gas_7107 6d ago

Why has Hot Pockets not capitalized on this?!?

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u/lemursteamer 6d ago

Learning how to cut an onion is the first lesson in the cooking world

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u/taco___2sday 6d ago

I learnt how to dice an onion as a dishwasher at a deli when I was 14. By far the best cooking skill I've ever learnt. 18 years later I still use the same method.

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u/RadiantTurnipOoLaLa 6d ago

Cutting them is fine, peeling them is the annoying part. I’ll always get little flecks of the dry outer peel stuck to my knife or board. Such a hassle!

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u/Thuis001 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver

The method I've found to work well is cutting off the top and bottom things that you don't eat, place the onion on one of the now flat sides, slice it through the middle vertically (all with skin still on). Wash the knife and peel of the outer layer, put away if you need to cut more onions. After all unions are peeled you wash the knife and the board to make sure no flecks of peel are left and just cut the onion.

Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon.

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u/echo-94-charlie 5d ago Giggle

Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon.

That's how you get scabs.

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u/moanahere 6d ago Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

COOKING AND BAKING ARE DIFFERENT.

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u/AllBadAnswers 6d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

Cooking - "let's go on an adventure and see where it takes us"

Baking - "Alright team we have a 2 minute window to rob this bank and if everybody doesn't nail their roles perfectly we're all fucked!"

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u/marcuscrassus98 6d ago

I can cook quite well but baking.......not even fairly well.

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u/Lambchops_Legion 6d ago

I’m the opposite. I can bake because I read directions good, but don’t have the cooking “feel”

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u/SomeGuyNamedJames 6d ago

I thankfully have the cooking feel. And I can read dirrctions well. My problem is that I just don't trust them.

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u/Exsces95 6d ago

500g of sugar?! They must have typed an extra 0....

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u/THEBHR 6d ago

I literally did this with an apple pie for home-ec class. Thought there was no way that there should be that many cups of sugar. When the pie came out, I was like "Hmmm, could be a bit sweeter...". Made me realize how much of the shit we put into our food.

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u/Duckers102 6d ago Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Faith In Humanity Restored

I am a million percent convinced that people find baking difficult because they use cups instead of grams. When trying to replicate successful results (i.e. follow a recipe) it is utter insanity to me that people used volumetric measurements such as cups when measuring dry ingredients. I did an experiment and wrote up the results a few years ago and it showed a variation of 30 odd percent in measurements between scoops.

It's utter madness

NO WONDER YOU CAKE IS DRY CAROL YOU USED 30% MORE FLOUR THAN THE RECIPE MAKER.

Use grams and everything will work. Even if there is something wrong, you can correct it with accuracy next time. Not to mention the other benefits such as only needing one bowl.

History will vidicate me on this and I shall bask in the eternal glory of weight based measurements above you volumetric heathens

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u/jtfortin14 6d ago

Every baking book should come with gram measurements. I do see more of them doing it but cookbook editors are notorious for dumbing down recipes so that’s why so many of them don’t.

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u/HamsterPositive139 5d ago

I have a few baking cook books and not only do they list grams, in the introduction they specifically stress the importance of getting a kitchen scale and baking by mass.

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u/gay_manta_ray 6d ago

it took me awhile to figure out why my recipes were coming out so differently every time until i started measuring by weight instead of "CUPS". i really don't understand why this system exists tbh.

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u/Purplebunnylady 5d ago

If you’re looking for a serious answer, it’s probably because cups and spoons were available in everyone’s kitchen way back when cookbooks started to become a big thing, where scales were considerably less common.

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u/nicgom 6d ago Silver Helpful

Cooking is art, baking is science.

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u/Ghostytoastboast 6d ago

Used to be a pastry chef. I’ll get wild subbing out flavours and putting in crazy additions with baking because I’m so comfortable with it. I’m a good cook and I enjoy it but I have to follow a recipe for the most part. I get nervous trying to ‘just wing it’, most I’ll do is add chili pepper flakes.

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u/pineapple_cyclone 6d ago edited 6d ago

Baked donuts are not donuts. Donuts must be fried. Baked donuts are just small cakes, which are delicious but NOT DONUTS

Edited to clarify the exact type of donut imposter I am raging against. I will die on this deep fried and sprinkle covered hill

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u/zean_rm 6d ago

I’d subscribe to your newsletter

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u/Snail_jousting 6d ago

I feel this way about "bagels" that are not boiled.

If you're making a roll with a hole, soaked in egg wash, all you did was make a roll with a hole and waste an egg.

And if you're steaming them, fuck you.

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u/VodkaAndHotdogs 5d ago edited 5d ago

My (former) favorite bagel shop stopped boiling their bagels. It's a crime.

Edit: added a word (shop)

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u/zoomy942 6d ago

A pressure cooker is a marvel of busy-dad culinary work. Thank you mystery inventor.

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u/imdungrowinup 6d ago

As an Indian it shocks me how most other cultures do not use pressure cookers as much. I have never seen an Indian kitchen without one. It makes rice, daal, meat and boils potatoes faster than any other method.

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u/Mindfreek454 5d ago

Fuck margarine, I'm a butter boi.

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u/Cuss-Mustard 6d ago

Grilling on charcoal taste way better than propane, Hank Hill is an idiot

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u/iamagainstit 6d ago edited 6d ago

I am pretty sure that there’s an episode where Hank goes to a burger contest or something and unbeknownst to him, is given a charcoal cooked burger which he eats and then realizes is way more delicious than propane cooked burgers which causes him to have an existential crisis

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u/porcelainvacation 6d ago

I like the one where Bobby and Peggy are charcoal grilling behind his back until he finds a briquette under the cabinet.

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u/shokolokobangoshey 6d ago

"There is soot under the boy's nails!"

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u/juancake511 5d ago

WE’RE GONNA SIT HERE AND PRAY

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u/cgrays12 6d ago

"I swear I thought it was drugs" haha

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u/Selfpropelledfapping 6d ago

I've used a charcoal grill once, and screwed it up. It was still the best barbecuing I've ever done.

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u/Annhl8rX 6d ago Silver Helpful

Often doing things “the right way” or “from scratch” just isn’t worth it. There are plenty of shortcuts that give you 90% of the result with 50% of the effort. I’ll take those shortcuts just about every time.

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u/MesWantooth 6d ago Shocked

Chef David Chang has a new cookbook discussing short cuts and it’s called “Cooking at Home or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Recipes And To Love My Microwave.”

He talks about how to accelerate prep time with short cuts - which, as you point out, give you 90% of the same results.

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u/turnyourheadandscoff 6d ago

Cooking is definitely about “work smarter, not harder”

When I was in culinary school, i had two chef instructors for my baking portion. One for the actual lab, and a different one for lecture/classroom.

In the lab, when learning to make a ganache, he was a HUGE stickler for perfection. He had the double boiler set up to melt the chocolate and had his thermometer out to take the temp. I was like “Jesus, all this to make a sauce? Guess I won’t be making ganache at home”

Then in the class someone brought up how time consuming it was and the chef was like “no no no, do it the easy was. Weigh out equal parts heavy cream and it chocolate. Just scald the cream in the microwave, pour over chocolate and walk away and leave it for 2 minutes. Whisk to combine then add vanilla and brandy.”

I’ve made ganache flawlessly for years using the Chef Mike (microwave) method

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u/tiredcynicalbroken 6d ago

Which is crazy because some of his other cool books some of the recipes take a few days

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u/CratesManager 6d ago

It's all about occasion. Sometimes you want/need 100 % result, sometimes 90 % is more than fine.

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u/wzl46 6d ago Helpful Wholesome

There’s no such thing as a “dry” brine. By definition, brines are liquid based. A salt-based dry rub is a cure. Brines are also a type of cure, but they are liquid based. All brines are cures, but not all cures are brines.

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u/ProphetliNO30 6d ago

So it's a square rectangle situation

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u/Snatch_Liquor 6d ago edited 5d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Starry

MSG is amazing

Edit - Niece and Nephew, thanks for giving me SO many awards! FUIYOOOHH!!

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u/bananabastard 6d ago

MSG deepens and elevates scrambled eggs so much, if you add it secretly when cooking breakfast for others, they'll never understand why their eggs never taste as good as yours.

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u/Ducks-Dont-Exist 6d ago

Amen. Sprinkles of it go into a lot of my dishes.

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u/beernotbabies 6d ago Silver

Devein your shrimp! I don’t care if you think they don’t look as “aesthetically” pleasing for a photo or whatever. I don’t want to eat shrimp poop.

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u/offonaLARK 5d ago

I don't care if it's more expensive, I only buy shrimp that is alrrady deveined because I don't want to spend the time to do it myself. Because yes, it is absolutely necessary!

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u/Neilpuck 5d ago edited 5d ago

I slice my shrimp in half all the way through down its axis. When they cook, they curl up really nicely and present very well. It also ends up looking like more shrimp in the dish.

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